"You know I really couldn't sleep last night." she said.

"and why was that?" i asked.

"you were on my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about you. I felt so bad about what I told you and I'm sorry for making you really uncomfortable"

"Billie, we can talk about this later. it's not your fault." i explained

"no I wanna apologise because I had to get a high in order to fall asleep." she groaned.

"well i'm sorry." i whispered.

her eyes had fluttered close and she looked so pretty asleep. her scent began rubbing onto my bedsheet's. Billie's soft breathing touched my skin as i wrapped my arm around her chest, holding her. before i knew it, i had fallen asleep too.

i woke up with my arms wrapped around Billies body. we where only centimetre's apart from each other's faces. she muttered something in her sleep as i tried to free myself, but her arm pulled me back as my body crashed into hers.

"i don't want you to go, my love." she said.

hearing her raspy words made my heart melt. and so i did stay in bed with her, even though i didn't go back to sleep. i just admired her slowly, all of her features - her cute, button nose, the little freckles she has on her cheeks and her long eyelashes. she's so beautiful.

i stayed for a few minutes more, until that turned into an hour. when i woke up for the second time, Billie's arms where wrapped around my hips, groping me in closer. she was spooning me and honestly, i couldn't be more turned on.

i tried escaping from her grasp once again and this time i succeeded. i got up and tied my hair into a messy bun, before pouring myself a cup of black coffee. i made my way back into my room to see if Amber had texted anything. i worried about them. if i had known Joaquin was capable of doing things like that i would've thrown his ass onto the sidewalk when he asked for a fucking lap dance and i felt bad after making her cover my shift.

Billie groaned in her sleep as i checked my phone, interlocking her fingers with mine and kissing my hand. i feel like melting in her touch every fucking time she does shit like that.

"you're awake? what time is it?" she rasped.

"around 5." the sun was still out outside.

"come back, i'm tired." she said.

"Billie, why did you take those drugs?" i asked her.

"it reminded me of something." she said, closing her eyes.

"of what?" i asked, caressing her face.

"this girl." she said.

"so it reminded you of someone?" i replied.

"mhm." she nodded, closing her eyes and trying her best to ignore me.

it seemed like she didn't wanna talk about it, so i left it and changed the subject.

"why'd you call me your wife? you know we aren't even dating, Billie." i said.

"i don't know." she whispered out.

i cupped her face and lifted it closer to mine, "you don't?"

"no." she said.

"i'll make you know." i teased her, biting my lip and reaching in to kiss her but she pulled away.

"what?" i said.

"stop doing this, Luna." she said.

"doing what?" i asked her.

"acting like you're interested in me but pushing me away at the fact that i'm intersex! i was born like that, Lu, i can't change it!" she said. "and even if i wanted to, i'd never!"

I stayed silent for a few seconds because I didn't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry Billie, but if I'm gonna be honest I just- I just I was never really into men so i guess kt kinda scared me, but I know you're different and I want to try something different." i said. "i mostly stayed away from them because of their personality and character but you're completely different and i never should've second guessed being with you just because of that."

she stayed quiet and glared into my eyes before kissing me. my hands trailed up her thigh, groping her crotch. she tangled her fingers in my hair and scratched my head a little, making me moan in our kiss. Billie then pushed me down so that i was lying down on my back and huddled over me, without breaking our contact. our lips still meeting, she pecked on my neck and looked back up at me, with a sort of shiny glare in her eyes.

"you're so fucking pretty." she said, smiling at me with her pink lips.

"and you're fucking gorgeous." i said, kissing her once again.

she pulled away and got up to have a sip of my coffee. i don't think she wanted to have sex so i just decided to do other things with her. it's not often i get days off.

"want me to make you a cup?" i asked her, watching her drink from my mug.

"no, i'll share with you." she smiled.

i got up and took my hair out of the bun i tied up, Billie was still laying in bed.

"tie it back up, you look cute in a messy bun." she said as i turned around.

"no." i said, facing with my back towards her to change my clothes.

i told her to tie her hair in a messy bun again because it looked really cute but she refused to and turned to take her shirt off. as i caught a glimpse of her back, i imagined my fingers running along her spine, down her body, until she took her bra off. she was a good C cup. i wanted her to turn around right then and there, and crawl towards me, kissing me as i squeezed her boobs but she remained facing towards the closet.

she threw on a rick and morty shirt before making her way to the kitchen.

"um, where you do think you're going, darling?" i asked her, raising my eyebrows.

"to get you food." she said.

she literally didn't even ask.

"quit the mommy complex." i told her, getting up and wrapping my arms around her hips.

"you wish. you know you love it." she teased, coming closer towards me so our lips where only a millimetre apart.

she didn't kiss me and continued to stay close.

"fuck." i said.

she pulled away and poured some water in a pot and put it on the stove.

"whatcha making?" i asked her.

"ramen." she replied.

"how did you know i love ramen?" i said.

"i just know things like that." she bluffed.

"yeah? well what else do you know about me?" i asked.

"you don't need to know." Luna said.

"no, tell me." i told her.

"no." she refused.

"tell. me." i said, backing her into the corner of the counter, placing my hands on her hips.

"no!" she yelled and writhed out of my grasp.

she ran around the couch in circles as i chased after her.

"hahahaha fuck you!" she shouted as i grabbed her and rolled onto the couch.

she was laying on top of me, our bodies practically connected together, i glared into her eyes as she did the same.

I really wanted to kiss her, in fact I wanted to fuck her so bad. but then, in that moment I realise that Diego had ripped me off.

"fuck, I'm gonna be back, darling, okay? just give me five minutes." i told Lu.

she asked for was going but I told her it was nowhere and she didn't need to worry. I left the house and drove down to Diego's cabin he was rolling up a blunt and getting ready to smoke it when I walked in.

"you fucking bitch you ripped me off!" i yelled.

"what the fuck are you talking about man?" deigo said.

"LSD. you told me you gave me LSD. that shit lasts like twelve hours man it only lasted me three." i complained.

"Billie, you need to calm down man. you know, I'm doing this for your own good! you can't get addicted again! you can't do this to yourself again man! you gotta stop doing this to yourself." Diego shouted.

"I need to stop doing this to myself? you need to stop fucking ripping me off and I know what I need and I know what I want, I know how to make myself feel better! I've been doing it since I was 15! since I was fucking 15 I've been taking care of myself every single day! I've been wiping my tears, making myself feel better, you know? like taking care of myself and nobody was there for me so don't tell me what the fuck I need. I know have to take care of myself!" i cried.

I walked out and got in my car and started to drive back to Luna's house. when I got in, she had already cooked the ramen and left the bowls on the table for us to eat. Bax was still sleeping under the table and I cried in her arms when she asked me how I was after she noticed the tears in my eyes and how red they were.

"Billie?" she asked, "what's wrong?"

I stayed quiet in her embrace.

"yesterday." i whispered.

"the drugs?" she asked.

i nodded. I sobbed for a while as we sat down on one of her couches. when I had finally calmed down enough to speak she talked to me.

"why did you take those drugs?" she said.

when she said that question it felt so unreal. I stayed silent for a moment and just looked at her and then looked away, letting 1000 thoughts race into my mind at once. I don't know whether to tell her, so I decided to lie because I don't want her to know what a fucked up person I was. yet, I don't think I even want her to know what a fucked up person I am. i honestly like the fact that we don't know much about each other because she's a mystery and she knows none of the bad shit that I've done and I like having I like having a fresh start. something where I actually have a chance at doing something right.

"well, I told you before, it reminded me of someone that I was dating at the time and the things she said to me and the things I thought of doing just all came back to me. I was afraid that was going to happen with you me and i don't want history to repeat itself." i said.

she sighed and placed her hand on my jaw, "I'm so sorry, Billie. I've told you this before and I just- you don't need to take drugs to feel better, you can just talk to me you know that, right?"

"yeah, I know." I wasn't convinced.

at this point, I don't think anything could help me.

"could you maybe try something else apart from drugs? you know they're just taking years of your life, right? and I don't want you to be in that kind of danger. can I help you get out of it, baby?" she asked.

"I don't know, I just- it was a one time thing. it's not something I do very often so I don't think I will need anything to help me." i lied.

"okay, my love but honestly if you ever need anything or ever wanna talk about anything to me or about me just let me know because I'm here for you, even if it's like some shit that happens between us we can talk it out, okay?" she said.

i smiled a little, "okay ."

she got up and grabbed our bowls of ramen, leaving one on the table. i stayed with my arms wrapped around her waist and she out the tv on. she lifted up a fork or ramen.

"open." she said and so i did.

she put the fork into my mouth as i tasted it.

"is it good?" she asked.

"so good." i groaned a little.

she had put cheese and some bacon in the ramen and the perfect amount of hot sauce from the packet. she took a fork for herself as we watched rick and morty.

"more." i said as she scooped for more noodles. "i love this show."

Luna replied, "i love bring around you."

"i love being around you too." i said.