This is actually quite boring here I am waiting for the kids to enter the first exam waiting room but they all seem stupid enough to fall for the genjutsu on the second floor.

Wait no here they come, and the idiots are being loud and drawing attention to themselves, now gaara is glaring at me again,

Then the snake spawn smelling nerd face is either trying to convert my pups into gimmick card collectors or he's just an evil bastard who eats little children's faces for fun.

And duckass had the nerve to ask nerd butt for info on me, buuuuuuuut since I've only been here for seven months he ain't got shit.

Ah, now the jazz hands man is attacking butt face with sound and oh! lookie here! he threw up!!!

I think it's about time to intervene with my spectacularness,

"HEY BIT-oh hi ibiki, ya know you just epically ruined my intro if awesomeness"

I glare he flinches, that is how the world works, but he steels his ass and faces the brats,

"LISTEN UP YOU BABY FACED INGRATES ME AND THE WEIRD TWIT OVER THERE"

processing..."OI!"

"WILL BE THE PROCTORS FOR THE FIRST EXAM"

so that's what dad meant,

"SO LINE UP AND GET A NUMBER FOR THE EXAM! AND YOU SOUND GUYS DO YOU WANT TO FAIL!? SO NO FIGHTING, YOU CAN SAVE THAT FOR THE NEXT PART!"

I think I should input something here

"please pick up your number at he table to your right, find your seat and sit quietly, your partners are picked randomly, and follow all instructions soon to follow, please do enjoy the exam, and have a nice day!"

Nailed it, that right there was the perfect impression of a fake ass blond hostess you would get for a rich-guys-who-hate-each-other-so-much-they-would-rather-gorge-their-own-eyes-with-a-spoon-then-have-to-talk-to-the-other kind of fake.

And ibi's just standing here twitching and waiting for me to get into the exam room.

All the participant are snickering at me, I just give them a smile from hell and they shut up quickly.

As ibi explains he rules I am thinking very hard, I can and have smelt snake spawn, but now I smell snake mom,

Just who might it be???

Ah there you are the one person who looks like they're confused as to what gender they were born as, is just a clone.

When ibi is saying how well be watching them during the test one brave dumbass asks how I can be qualified as a ninja, I'm just a fool how treats life as a joke.

Smiling sweetly and still looking at the deathwisher in the eyes I throw a kunai in the clones face embedding the knife deep in the wood,

I look up and say "good trick but any high level ninjas would notice your trick and kill you without a second thought"

The it scowls and jumps to his seat, but with my kunai he can't get comfortable and tries to yank it out, unsuccessful he slumps forward trying to keep the handle from being stuck in his back.

Everyone just stares shocked, but ibiki looks smug, "and that is the element of surprise, you may begin the exam now!"

timeskip hour later

I notice anko is about to coke hurling through the window uncontrollably, so the moment ibi has finished telling the examanees they passed with the help of my blonds shout out,

so I gently push a confused ibiki into anko's line of destruction, just as he finished his speech, she comes crashing through... RIGHT ONTO IBIKI!!!

YES MY WORK IS COMPLETE!!

I know they've liked each other for a very long time so I've just helped them, besides their perfect for each other!!!

and they can now realize it as they're lying on top of each other in a lovely position, lip-locked, on... the...floor...of the exam room... SHIT! I REALLY DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH!

And now I'm dead, anko quickly explains how were both going to be the proctors for the next exam, but her death grip on my shoulder tells me I might not live that long.

And ibiki is still lying shocked on the floor, and I can hear dad laughing with the other jounin in his office and shit the one is up,

"BYE!!" I wave cheerily to the passers and bolt, it's going to be a long and dangerous night.