《Back to You | ✓》45.
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The calm silence in Sebastian's car, had begun to worry him immensely.
For the rest of the dinner party and after her outburst towards Tucker and Anna, Mia been quiet. He noticed the far-away look in her eyes, fiddling with her hands, and the way she'd pull away from him slightly.
Although he understood, it hurt him nonetheless, mostly because he wasn't sure on how to help. He didn't like this. She didn't deserve this.
"Mia," he then said her name in a slightly strained voice. "Say something, please," he begged.
Throughout the drive, he'd occasionally glance over towards Mia, and just saw her resting her head against the cool window. She wouldn't turn to look at him, her eyes seemed as if they were focused on the road, but he knew that she was somewhere else altogether.
A gentle sigh then left Mia's lips.
"I don't know what to say," she responded.
She still hadn't turned her head towards him.
It terrified him. He felt as if she were pulling away and all he wanted to do, was hold her tight in his arms.
"Please tell me you're okay?" Sebastian asked her.
It was something he'd refrained from asking before. He'd searched her eyes for it, many times during the dinner, and every time he'd come up empty.
Her eyes would always tell him how she felt, but right now, he couldn't tell and it worried him,
Mia then sat up a little straighter in her seat, pondering over the question for a second.
In all honesty, she had been thinking about the question throughout the whole night and she didn't know the answer.
She would ask herself, and the answer would come back as yes, but then she didn't really know. Tonight, she had finally confronted years of fear and pain, and that did make her feel stronger, braver and more in control, but there was also something else.
Mia had been holding onto this whole incident for a long time. She had thought that she'd moved on from it, but it was always at the back of her mind. She never thought she'd ever get the chance to confront Tucker, since he'd thankfully disappeared from her life, but now that she had it was odd.
The weight from her chest had finally been lifted, but it had been a big part of her life. She was immensely happy that it was over, but Mia still needed to figure out how to deal with it all. She needed to let it sink in, to understand that it was over. She'd won.
Sebastian glanced over towards Mia once again, the long pause made him feel anxious. She seemed as if she were mulling over his question, but he didn't ask her again. He instead accepted her silence as an answer.
She wasn't okay right now, that was clear enough, he just hoped that she would be eventually.
"Will you stay over at mine tonight?" Sebastian asked her.
He had been circling roads for a while, without Mia even realising, since he thought a drive would help. However, not he just wanted to be with her at home.
Mia hesitated slightly, "I don't-"
"Please? I just want to hold you, nothing more," he told her.
She finally turned towards him and saw how much he needed this.
"Okay," She then relented. "I'll text Chloe and Nic."
Not long after, they had reached Sebastian's flat, wordlessly walking through the door.
Sebastian held Mia's hand within his, as he began to lead her into his bedroom, and she didn't say anything in protest, instead following his movements.
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When they had reached the room, Mia then tugged on Sebastian's hand, causing his movements to halt and turn to face her. She pulled his hand closer towards her, as she inspected it.
"You bruised your knuckles again because of me. Again," she said, grimacing as she looked at the raw and reddened skin of his hand.
Mia felt bad that, not only had it been partially caused by her, she hadn't even noticed or said anything about it till now. They had a whole dinner together and he'd driven her, all the while with a bruised hand, without complaining about it once.
Sebastian then lowered his eyes, to his injured hand and then looked back up towards Mia, who now held a frown from her face.
He smiled and removed his hand from her hold, only to gently cup her face.
"I'd do it again and again, if I had to," he told her, placing a quick kiss where a crease had formed in between Mia's brows.
"I wanted to fucking kill Tucker, for all the shit he was saying," he gritted out.
He remembered all the accusations he was making, his taunting words, and it caused his blood boil.
"No one gets to talk about you like that. Not now, not ever. I was a massive twat back then for ever believing what Victoria told me. She used me for her own reasons, and I was too blinded by my loyalty towards my friends and that stupid video, to not see that you could never do anything like that," he ranted, his voice filled with regret.
Every time he thought about it, he felt pain. Her pain. The way she bared out her soul in front of everyone, a small glimpse of what she felt, it was like a punch to the gut.
Mia tilted her head to the side slightly, and kissed one of Sebastian's hands that held her face.
"I understand, Sebastian," she smiled.
He then stepped back and shook his head.
"No, Mia. You don't. I'll forever regret treating you the way I did, and if you let me, I want to spend every day making it up to you," he told her.
"I don't want you to," Mia replied.
Sebastian looked at her in confusion. "What?"
Taking his uninjured hand, Mia held it towards her. "I told you, Sebastian, I don't hate you. What you did, was a boy's foolish mistake. However, right now, you're a man whose made up of them," she smiled.
Sebastian looked her in disbelief, before abruptly pulling her in for a hug.
"You're incredible, you know that?" He whispered against her hair.
Mia laughed and hugged him back just as tight.
After a moment of embrace, they broke apart and Sebastian kissed Mia's forehead, before heading towards his closet to fetch a spare change of clothes for her. The drive to his place was sudden and he didn't have any of her clothes here yet.
He walked out of the closet, a pair of his shirts and a white tee in his hand, that he knew would be too big for Mia, but he didn't have anything that would fit her either.
"Here, these may be a big on you, but it's all I have," he chuckled and handing Mia the clothes.
"Thank you," Mia mumbled, as she took the clothes without looking Sebastian in the eye.
When he noticed the way she was avoiding eye contact, Sebastian didn't loosen his grip on the clothes, which caused Mia look up to him.
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He then noticed a sad expression on her face.
"You okay?" He asked her with concern.
Mia sighed and dropped her grip from the clothes. "It's just, for a moment, it felt like I was back in that hall during prom. Everyone looking at me, whispering, saying things about me that I have no control over," she replied.
"People just need a reason to talk," Sebastian told her, as he threw the change of clothes he'd got for her, over to a nearby armchair.
"I know," Mia smiled. "Plus, this time it was different. "This time I had you on my side," she added.
Sebastian couldn't help but smile back at her.
"I'll always be on your side, Mia," he told her honestly.
"You defended me, protected me, believed me. You were what changed everything. I never raised my voice back then, but now, as I saw the way you called me yours, how you trusted me without a doubt, I felt more stronger than I ever felt. You, your family, your friend, everyone. Just so many people defending me, more people than I ever had before," Mia said, her voice choked up and filled with gratitude.
A tear slipped out her eye, which Sebastian quickly wiped away.
"We'll always be on your side. I told you, I'll never let anyone hurt you," Sebastian reminded her of his promise.
Mia nodded, smiling as wide as she could for him.
He held the side of her face softy, and placed a kiss on her cheek, before stepping back.
"I'll leave you to get changed," he said, preparing to walk out the room.
Sebastian and Mia's relationship, despite all the time they spent together, was not more than kisses, hugs and hand holding. It was what she was comfortable with at the time and Sebastian was content in only going that far, as long as he got to be with her.
"Sebastian?" Mia called out to him, before he could walk out the room.
"Yeah?" he turned around, wondering if there was anything else she needed.
There were three words that Mia had held back from saying for a long time. She didn't want to rush herself or the relationship, despite Sebastian already providing her with a declaration of his own.
However, Sebastian's recent actions, the way he cared for her, planning their first dates and defending her tonight, it was more than what she needed to realise, just how much she had fallen for him.
Now, she didn't want to waste any time in telling him.
Sebastian cocked his head towards the side, as he waited patiently for Mia to speak.
He watched as full-blown grin graced her face.
"I love you." Mia stated.
Sebastian was left frozen.
He blinked slowly, watching as the smile on her face never wavered for even half a second.
"Y-you what?" he managed stuttered out.
"I am so in love with you. I'm in love with you and everything about you. I'm irrecoverably in love with you Sebastian Carter. So damn much," she confessed.
The shock finally wore off and a wide-spread grin came across on Sebastian's face.
"Fucking finally!" He shouted and with long strides, pulled Mia towards him and captured her lips in an all-consuming kiss.
As Sebastian kissed Mia, she felt herself falling more in love with him.
His kiss wasn't rough, but it wasn't gentle either.
One hand cupped her face, angling it upwards, towards him, his other hand was tangled in her curls. He loved that feeling. The way her soft strands were softly tickling his fingers, as he slightly tugged on them, deepening the kiss further.
Mia's hands were gripping onto Sebastian's shirt, too afraid to let go, scared that if she did, the euphoric bubble that she was in, would burst and he was going to disappear, leaving her with this unmistakable desire, desire for him.
Sebastian's hands left Mia's face and the tangles of her hair, to trail down her back, in a painfully slow motion, that caused Mia to both gasp and shiver at the sensation.
It was like his fingers were burning through her skin, but she loved it, like she loved him.
He then took the opportunity of Mia's gasp to further deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue through her parted lips, and she was letting him take control.
The shiver that raked through her bones, caused a growl-like noise to leave Sebastian. He pulled her even closer to him, close enough, so that there was barely any room for air to even pass.
He then broke the kiss, which caused Mia to slightly whimper, but it was barely even half a second before his lips were on her skin, trailing her jaw and down her neck, to her shoulder, nipping and sucking.
It was causing an ache to build up within her. This heated feeling of want and need, that she had never felt for anyone, not anyone, but Sebastian.
Mia's hands moved up from Sebastian's chest, to his shoulders and she carefully slipped his blazer off, past his broad shoulders. His hands left Mia's body, to quickly shrug off the unwanted extra clothing, before they returned back to her, holding her close to him.
He wasn't scared that she'd run away, he just wanted her near.
Near enough, that their heartbeats would sync up together. He wanted her close, so that there was no room left for anything else. No unwanted thoughts, no unwanted feelings, nothing else, but just them and their love for one another.
Mia's hands travelled up to Sebastian's hair, gripping, tugging and even pulling, as he started kissing her harder, like she was his reason for being, for living, like she was his oxygen and she felt the same way.
One of his hands were at her lower back, as the other, ever so slowly moved down the thin strap of her dress, so that he could kiss her bare shoulder even better.
There was a need in Sebastian that didn't want to take this slow, it was killing him, but he'd rather go slow and cherish Mia in his arms than rush and ruin everything.
Mia began to then slowly unbutton Sebastian's shirt, her fingers were shaking, not from fear but from the feeling building up within her.
Sebastian sensed her shaking fingers and moved away to look at her, in case he was being too hasty with her.
Instead, he saw the same desire for him, as he had for her.
He took her hands and brought them up to his lips, and that one kiss was enough for Mia to regain her confidence, and she carried on to unbutton his shirt. Sebastian just watched her, his eyes didn't leave her and hers were also locked onto his.
Mia tugged up his shirt from his trousers and took it off him, as he was watching her intently, waiting for a sign from her that she wanted to stop, but he received none and it was sending him soaring.
It wasn't an entirely new sight to her, seeing a shirtless Sebastian. She'd seen him in Amsterdam, with only a towel wrapped around his waist, but this time it was different.
She bravely placed her hands on his skin, roaming ever so cautiously, and this caused him to stiffen.
Her hands on his bare chest was something he loved, and he wasn't even ashamed at the slight shiver that left him.
Mia sensed the effect she had on him and it made her happy. She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him down towards her lips, and he wasn't one to resist.
Sebastian then slowly unzipped Mia's dress, pushing down the straps, and as if listening to his command, the dress slipped off Mia's body, pooling at her feet.
Suddenly, she was left bare to him with the exception of her underwear, since the dress she wore allowed her to go without a bra.
Mia froze, as Sebastian took his time to roam his eyes over her body, his eyes darkening.
He didn't want Mia to feel awkward of being so bare, so he quickly unbuckled his belt and slipped off his trousers, left only in his boxers.
Sebastian's want for Mia was clearly visible, and her eyes widened, and he couldn't help but smirk at her reaction.
He pulled her close to him, their bare skin touching and Mia gasped at the feeling. Her hands immediately went to his back, to pull him closer to her, as she arched her own back towards him.
Sebastian kissed her and began to slowly walk Mia backwards, still holding her close towards him.
He cradled her body to his own, as he lowered the two back onto the bed, with soft bedding lying beneath them.
The deepening kiss, was broken for only a moment, as Sebastian gazed into Mia's eyes.
"We-...we don't have to," he said, breathlessly.
He didn't want to stop, but he also didn't want to rush her or think this was something that she had to do.
Mia's hands gently cupped Sebastian's face. "You're mine Sebastian, now show me I'm yours too," she told him with a smile.
It was a smile that he now couldn't live without.
"I fucking love you," Sebastian told her.
Mia to grinned. Those were the words she'd never grow tired of hearing.
Not long after, the minimal fabric that separated them was also removed.
That night, Sebastian and Mia became one.
Tangled in each other's arms, their love, passion, want and need for one another, echoed in the room
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