Cameron

I'm not far from the street we parked on, so we get back to my apartment in less than five minutes. In that short amount of time though Maddie fell asleep, curled up with her knees tugged up to her chest, the side of her head against the window.

I park on the correct floor of the private parking garage, gently moving her head off of the window so that she won't wake up when I open it.

It's only nine at night, but I know Maddie has about a million different things going on in her life right now, including a possible study abroad program. The thought terrifies me, but I'd never stop her from doing something to get her closer to her dream.

I pick her up in my arms and grab my key fob to swipe it across the door for entry. My apartment is only a few feet down the hallway after we get off the elevator, and I'm thankful that she stays asleep when I open up the front door. It's extremely heavy, making a loud bang as it shuts behind us.

Holding my breath, I glance down at her, but thankfully she's still sound asleep. She looks absolutely adorable as I carry her over to the wraparound couch. It could seat eight people comfortably, and although I love my bed, this is just as good. Plus, the floor to ceiling windows are something I know for a fact Maddie will love to wake up to. The rain is beating down, the city lights twinkling in the distance.

I set her down onto the couch and go into my room to grab her one of my t-shirts. Rummaging through different ones, I settle on one of my old football t-shirts and bring it back out to her. To my surprise she's up now, her knees tugged to her chest on the couch as she stares out the windows.

"Did I wake you?" I whisper. You can hardly hear anything from the rain beating down.

"No, the rain did." She smiles softly. "Cam, this place is freaking incredible."

Passing her over the t-shirt, she stands up and continues to look around in awe. "Um, where is the bathroom?" She asks.

I point to the right of her. "Down that hallway."

"Thanks. Do you mind if I shower?"

I shake my head. "That's fine. I'll just scroll through Netflix to find us something to watch."

When she disappears out of sight I relax back into the cushions and turn the television on. I scroll through random movies for about ten minutes before I finally give up and go into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

I'm tired, my eyelids heavy as I wait for her to get done with the shower. The cold water wakes me up a little, but not much.

I glance down the hallway, seeing a light on in a room that's definitely not the bathroom.

"Maddie?" I call out. I head down the hallway and peek into the room I had made Isabelle's nursery. She's standing in the middle of the room in just my t-shirt with wet hair, her arms crossed in front of her as her back faces me.

"It just got finished yesterday." I beam. "I had a local artist come and do the mural. You think Izzy will like it?"

The room is under the sea themed after we bonded over squishy the turtle, and the mural is of just that. It's two huge turtles floating through the water, sea shells, seaweed and starfish gathered around them. It's a bunch of dark and light blues swirled together, creating the perfect illusion. The artist outdid himself.

"Maddie?" I ask again, walking further into the room to stand beside her. Quickly I notice that tears are pouring down her cheeks, her body shaking from trying to withhold her sobs.

"I-I'm so sorry." She collapses into my chest, burying her face into my t-shirt. "This nursery is just-" she shakes her head. "It's beautiful Cameron, and I'm so sorry that I didn't give you the opportunity to do this with me. She should have known you sooner. She should have seen this mural the second she was born, and-"

"Hey." I soothe and pull her more against my chest. "Maddie, it's okay."

"It's not okay!" She shrieks. "I'm a horrible mom. A horrible fucking mom."

"Maddie." I repeat, trying to get her to calm down. It almost seems impossible though. "Hey, look at me."

Her gaze meets mine, her eyes crystal blue from the crying. I swipe away her tears with my thumb. They just keep flowing though, and I can clearly see how much she regrets what happened. I know she didn't mean to keep her from me. If I didn't hide the blackmail from her then we would be a happy family now, and I know that. It doesn't make what she did okay, but I understand it.

"Let's get out of here for now, okay?" I pick her up into my arms so that she's straddling me from the front and walk back out to the couch to sit down. Her knees are on either side of my thighs, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tries to get ahold of herself.

"Look at me." I repeat, and finally she does. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear I say, "what happened wasn't right, and we both know that, but what I did to you wasn't right either. We both made mistakes, not just you. Regardless of all that's happened though Maddie we're both here, right? It led us to be where we are right now."

"It still doesn't make me feel any less guilty." She whispers.

"And I feel the same, but we can't let that stop us from progressing forward, right? We can't change the past, but we can make sure that our future and Isabelle's is better because of what we learned from those mistakes. Does that make sense?"

She nods, her sobs settling down to sniffles. I think the rain is helping calm her down too. "The nursery really is amazing." She finally smiles. "I can't wait for her to see it."

"Me either." I grin, and then I tilt her chin up to have her look at me again. "And you're the best mom I've ever seen, by the way. Don't ever doubt that."

"Thanks." She sniffles again and looks back out at the city. "This apartment of yours is something else. Is it weird to have money now? To have girls walk up and notice you like they did tonight?"

"It used to." I admit. "When I was drafted they started me in the first game, and the very next day I was out getting groceries and this guy came up and asked me for my autograph. It was the weirdest thing."

She begins to run her fingers through my hair, and I sigh from the feeling. "It doesn't surprise me one bit." She says. "You're an incredible player. The type of player that will make the hall of fame someday."

"Whoa. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Mads."

"Mark my words." She tells me. "You will be. I just know it."

I hate talking about myself. It's always made me so uncomfortable. Rather than continue this subject, I pass her the remote. "Pick something to watch. I couldn't find anything good."

"You want to watch TV?" She asks.

"I mean, we don't have to? What do you want to do?"

She arches a brow and checks her phone. It's a little past ten. "Well, to me it looks like we have about two hours until we have to go back to healthy co-parenting..."

Slowly, she takes my t-shirt off of her, leaving her completely naked in front of me. I scan over her eyes that are full of lust, her lips that are slightly wet, her breasts that are so full, nipples already erect.

Good god.

"I didn't know that was an option." I say and pull her closer to me. "But now that I do..."

Kissing her slowly down her neck, she tilts her head to the side and grasps onto my curls that she loves to do.

"Oh, wait. Let me get a condom." I say breathlessly. If we continue this anymore than we already have then I'm going to forget and be too turned on to care.

She pins me down from moving, my hard on practically throbbing. "I meant to tell you in the car earlier, but I'm on birth control now. The IUD. I got it placed as soon as I could after Izzy. Not that I don't want more kids in the future, but she is plenty. I'm not going to risk getting pregnant again until I'm ready."

Oh, thank fuck.

"Well I really wish you had told me in the car earlier." I find myself saying. "Because ever since you I can't stand using condoms anymore."

"Did you..." she sits back on my lap, her lips pursing together before she says, "like... sleep with anyone else after we split?"

I figured this question would come at some point, and I've been wanting to know the same thing. "No." I reply honestly.

"Really?" Her eyes grow wide before she smiles, and it's like this huge weight was lifted off her shoulders.

"You thought I had?"

"I mean, no..." she trails off, but the look on her face tells me that she definitely thought I had. "I don't know." She shrugs. "That girl was falling all over you tonight. I wouldn't blame you if you had slept with someone else."

She doesn't get it. Maddie will never get it.

"I'm not that guy anymore." I say. "The guy you knew in high school is long gone. I need more than just the looks, Maddie."

"Like what?"

"You." I laugh because it's one hundred percent true. "No other girl would suffice because they aren't you. I don't think you're ever going to understand that."

Falling for Maddie was the best thing I've ever done. Even despite all that's happened between us I know that I don't regret it. Maybe that's because a part of me is still holding out that we can make this work between us. Our futures have never lined up though, and it's like we're fighting the inevitable.

"Who would have thought I'd turn the playboy into a sap?" She teases before her eyes soften, becoming serious again. "I didn't sleep with anyone either. I know you want to know, and the answer is that I didn't."

"Oh really?" I pull her closer and stand up from the couch, her naked body wrapped around my waist. She erupts into giggles as I kiss down her neck again. "Well then I gladly won't use a condom."

We don't say much after that. In seconds we're naked for the second time tonight, and I slip inside of her no problem as I push her back up against one of the windows. Even the coolness of this glass can't stop the fire that's coursing through my body for her.

With the rain pounding down heavily on the windows it creates a blur of rainbow colored lights between us. The view of the city behind her is absolutely breathtaking, but so is she.

It's exquisite.

It's mind blowing.

It's probably the best sex we've ever had.

"I-" she stops herself from finishing the sentence, but her eyes don't leave mine. I know what she wanted to say. I know because I'm thinking the same exact thing.

"Me too." I pant heavily and then kiss her again so that we don't talk about it anymore. I want to just make love to her right here against this window all night long. I don't want to start any conversation that will result in sadness. I know I have to start traveling again at the end of the summer, and I know she's going to go on that internship. I'll pay for it if she continues to be stubborn about going, but I don't know if I'm ready for that. For her to leave and take away Izzy when we just met.

I don't want to think about any of this though. That's a conversation for co-parenting. Not for tonight.

Tonight I'm making love to my girl, and right now I can pretend that she's not leaving. I can pretend I'm not a pro football player that has to travel for weeks at a time. For tonight I can pretend we're going to make it. I can fantasize that she's my wife. That her, Izzy and I are a family.

For tonight, everything is perfect.

🥺