I haven't spoken to Cameron since we got into that horrible fight. It's been a little over a week since it happened, but the memories of it still circulated constantly throughout my head. I've never seen him so angry at me, and I know he'd never hit me, but it was terrifying to watch him unravel like that. He lost all self control in that moment. Not that I blame him, but I would rather not be there to witness that side of him.

He did text me a few times to ask how Isabelle was doing, but we didn't talk about anything. I'm not sure what I would even say at this point. Too much has happened, and I don't want to think about the fact that we might not be able to work through this.

"Maddie." My boss, Dr. Hartley calls my name before I have the chance to leave for the day. She has a packet of some sort in her hand, and at first I think it's more work she wants me to do, but as I draw closer I see that it's some sort of application. "This is about the study abroad program I was telling you about."

I eye the packet out of curiosity as she passes it over to me.

"It was the best thing I ever did during med school." She says. "It challenged me in all of the best ways. Different cultures, diversity, and you will gain so much knowledge. Things you never even knew that you should learn. You're the perfect fit for this, Maddie. A very promising future doctor if I've ever seen one."

"Look, Dr. Hartley..." I trail off, clearing my throat. "It's not that this isn't intriguing to me, because it is, but I have Isabelle, and I wouldn't be able to leave her. I just couldn't."

"These programs will house the both of you. There are plenty of moms with children that study abroad. I'm not trying to push you into it, but I think this is an opportunity you should consider. Just think about it, okay?"

I nod, clutching the application tightly as I watch her leave, briefcase in hand. She's an incredible doctor. She's everything I strive to be, and if she thinks that this is something I should do then I should consider it, right?

Even if these programs do pay to house both of us, I have to have someone to watch her. I would have to pay for daycare, and how the hell am I supposed to do that? I'd have to save for years in order to afford it.

My phone starts to ring, Cameron's name flashing across the screen. I haven't talked to him on the phone since the fight happened. It's just been texts, so I find myself staring at the screen for a good five seconds before I actually answer it.

"Hello?" I gulp.

"Uh, hey." He replies awkwardly. I must not be the only one that's nervous. "Is now a good time to talk?"

I head outside to my car, my phone pressed between my ear and shoulder while I try to fish out my keys. "Yeah, I'm just leaving my internship for the day. What's up?"

Shoving the application in my glove compartment, I breathe a sigh of relief once it's out of my sight. It almost feels like less pressure if I don't have to look at it.

"Well, I actually got a place in Phoenix." He says excitedly. "It's an apartment downtown, but I'll only have it for the next couple of months. I'm thinking of moving in this weekend."

"Really?" I ask as I start the car, desperately trying to turn on the air conditioning. It's the middle of May, already a hundred degrees out.

"Yeah. I just wanted to call you to see if maybe I could visit Isabelle Saturday or Sunday if you're free?"

"Um, Sunday's work best. I make sure I have at least one day off with Izzy a week, and it's normally Sunday."

"Alright, well Sunday it is then."

The thought of seeing Cameron again excites me. I should be so upset with him, and a part of me is, but happiness always seems to overpower those feelings.

We also should be getting off the phone, but neither of us make an effort to say goodbye. I hear a bunch of static of some sort echoing through the speaker.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm in the middle of packing. This tape is being god damn annoying though."

"You're doing this by yourself?" I laugh, and I can picture him smiling too. "I'm surprised you don't have people doing this for you by now."

"I am capable of doing things by myself you know. Fuck it's hot." He mutters, and I withhold my thoughts when I picture him stripping off his shirt.

Why do I always have these dirty thoughts of him? I can't help it though. The other night I got to see just how much he's been conditioning for this NFL team, and damn. His chest was fully defined in the best possible way, those sweatpants of his just barely clinging onto his hips.

"Maddie?" He snaps me out of my thoughts. "Did I lose you?"

"Did you lose me?" I repeat, my heart sinking down into my chest. "What do you mean?"

"Like, the connection. I thought the call had failed or something."

Oh. Right.

"Uh, no. It didn't. I do have to go though. I'm almost to my moms to pick up Isabelle."

"I can't wait to see her again." He gushes, and it's utterly adorable. "I'm going to soak up as much time with you guys as possible."

You guys.

Am I overthinking what he said? I know what happened the night at the hotel and the things that we did, but that was before our huge fight. That was before I found out he had lied to my face that night he came to my dorm room and ended things.

Can I trust him again? Does he even want to pursue something with me anymore? He said so himself that he doesn't know if he can trust me either.

Fuck. Why does everything have to be so complicated with us?

"Alright, well I guess I'll see you guys on Sunday. I'll text you when I land, okay? I'm flying in on Friday."

"Okay." I smile. "Bye Cameron. See you then."

More silence echoes through the speaker, and I double check to make sure he hasn't hung up already.

"I'm just waiting for you to correct it." He laughs, seeming to answer my thoughts. A million butterflies erupt into my stomach at once.

How the hell does he do this to me? It's like I'm back in high school all over again. I'm a grown woman now. I shouldn't be getting butterflies anymore.

"Bye Cam." I emphasize.

"There we go." He chuckles. "Bye Mads. See you soon."