I follow him to the bed and watch as he rummages through his drawers. I'm in an uncomfortable blouse and jeans, so I gratefully accept the t-shirt when he passes it over to me.

It feels so stupid to have to change in the bathroom after he's seen me naked so many times before, but I do it anyways and bundle up my other clothes into a ball by the bathroom door.

Cam scans me over from head to toe, and I can tell he's trying to hide a smile as I climb into bed beside him. A king size bed is much bigger than I ever thought it would be, the distance seeming like an entire ocean between us.

He leans over to shut the light off, making it pitch black in the room. I find myself staring at the ceiling, twirling my thumbs on top of my stomach from how weird this feels. I don't like the distance between us.

I also don't want to go too fast though. With Cam it always feels like no time has passed. Like when we hadn't seen each other for those four years in college, or even now when it's been another two years. Whenever we're together I'm transported back to high school, when we fell in love and couldn't get enough of each other. I don't feel anger towards him, I don't feel sadness, I just feel safe with him. Like there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

I take it upon myself and crawl over to him, relaxing down onto his chest. He sighs in relief as I drape my leg over his, his hand coming down to rub circles on my thigh.

"Do you hate me for what I did?" I whisper.

He takes a second before he answers, choosing his words wisely. "I could never hate you." He replies. "Am I still mad? Yeah, I'm furious, Maddie. I just found out I had a daughter. I also know that yelling and screaming isn't going to fix that though. We can sort through this amicably."

"Do you still love me?"

He plays with my hair as I wipe away another tear, terrified of what his answer will be.

"Yeah." He whispers. "I don't think there's anything you could do to me to make me stop loving you."

Then why did he leave me? Why did he choose Katie? I'm so fucking confused, and I want more than anything for him to explain things to me now. I don't want to wait until I'm sober.

"Do you still love me?" He asks me the same question, his fingers still rubbing circles on my thigh. "After what I did?"

I nod immediately, and I can hear him smile from how quiet it is in here. "I don't think there's anything you could do to me to make me stop loving you." I repeat exactly what he said because it's how I feel too, and I can hear his heartbeat accelerate.

Lifting my head up, I press my lips to his. I know we shouldn't be kissing, but I am longing for him. We are up and down, fighting then kissing, kissing then fighting, but I love him. Nothing will change that.

"Fuck." He mutters against my lips, his hands immediately slipping underneath his t-shirt on me. He feels the lace of my panties and lets out a sigh.

"It's fine." I tell him.

"It's not fine, Maddie. You're drunk." And then I take his hand and lean up so that I can slip it between my legs for him to feel the wetness. "God damn..." he groans, rolling me onto my back without a second thought.

I kiss him again, entwining my tongue with his. He clutches me tightly, balling a fist of his t-shirt on me to try and control himself.

"We're not having sex tonight." He repeats and then kisses me again. I take his hand and move it to grab onto my breast. I'm not wearing a bra, and he squeezes tightly, letting out another moan. "Holy fuck." He says in disbelief.

I had stopped breastfeeding a few months ago, but my breasts certainly have gotten bigger. He definitely noticed.

"Fuck, okay." He pants and squeezes my breast again. "We aren't going to have sex."

"Okay." I agree with a tiny grin on my face as he slips his hand inside of my panties.

"We just both need to come." He moans and kisses my neck, running his tongue down to my collarbone. "To get it out of the way, you know?"

"Mhm." I sigh in ecstasy, reaching down to his sweatpants to feel his bulge. It's hard and thick in my hands, and Cam is getting so worked up that he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"You want me to make you come?" He pants.

I can't see anything from it being completely dark in here, but I want nothing more than to see the look on his face right now.

"Yes, please."

He dips underneath the comforter without another word, spreading my legs open with his hands. I've pleased myself to this countless of times over the last two years. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to feel this again. Now that it's happening I'm in utter disbelief.

"I haven't had sex in so damn long..." he mutters, placing kisses along my inner thighs. "You have no idea, Maddie.... No idea how much I missed this."

Didn't he have sex with Katie?

I want to ask him, but he slides my panties to the side and completely engulfs himself in me. His tongue slips into me, taunting and teasing me.

"Oh fuck!" I cry out and trap his head with my legs, reaching underneath the comforter to grab onto those sexy curls of his. I always tug on them, and he moans into my pussy from the feeling.

All I can hear is the sound of his tongue licking and sucking, and it's so fucking hot. I haven't had sex with anyone else since him, and I don't think I'd ever want to. He's way too good at this.

He puts a finger into my pussy and flicks his tongue against my clit. He swirls his tongue around it in circles, pumping his finger in and out of me as he does.

"Cam!" I yell out from the feeling, leaning up onto my elbows and pulling the comforter off of him. I need to watch him eat me out. It's still dark, but I can see those curls between my legs. That's all I need.

"There's that fucking nickname." He laughs. "It's about damn time."

I tug on those curls again. "I just want your tongue." I pant. "Just your tongue."

Nodding his head, he slides it up and down my slit before he pushes his tongue back into me. I grind on his face to feel his tongue deeper, until I don't think I can take it anymore.

He moans loudly into my pussy, reaching down to his sweatpants to grasp onto his dick. I'm assuming he came, and I'm so close. So fucking close.

"Fuck, don't stop!" I scream, grinding quickly on his face. His nose feels so damn good rubbing against my clit. I want to soak his face. I want him to worship me after leaving. I want this to be his payback. Giving me head whenever the fuck I ask for it.

My eyes roll to the back of my head, my body going rigid as I come right onto his tongue. He moves it frantically to get every last drop, but it's such an intense orgasm that I cry out in bliss, holding his head exactly where it is when I can't seem to stop.

"Oh, shit." He moans into me, laughing in disbelief. "Baby, you just squirt."

I feel wetness on the sheets beneath me, but I thought it was from his spit. I didn't think it was because I had done that. I've never done that before.

Feeling embarrassed, I go to pull away from him until Cam pins my legs down and sticks his tongue back on me again. "I will let you squirt on my face anytime you fucking please, Maddie." He says sternly before he resumes, and I find myself pulling on his curls again. Even though I just came I'm not finished. Not in the slightest.

"Please don't stop." I sigh. It's been too long since I've felt him. Too long since he's done this.

We have a lot to figure out. There's so much we still have to talk about, but this has always felt right between us. So right. I'll take whatever consequences come with this in the morning so long as I get to have another one of those orgasms.

"I won't." Cam says as he comes up for air. "I'll eat it all night long, Maddie."

OK, so I have determined that MAYBE I can update three times a week now.... So updates will now be Sunday, Tuesday & Friday :)

Is that better?!