《Path To Restoration (Fighter's Den, #3)》Chapter 15 - Delilah

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Mia squeals so loudly I choke on my drink before covering my ears. Sheesh, this girl has a voice on her.

"You didn't!" She insists.

I smile weakly, a little intimidated by the way her and her friends gape at me. It doesn't escape me that a bunch of sixteen-year-old girls are making me feel ten sizes smaller. Could I be any lamer?

"You like it?" I ask, referring to her present.

"I love it!" She jumps to her feet and crashes into me with a hug that nearly spills over what's left of my drink. I set it down on the coffee table next to the couch I'm sitting on so that I can hug her back. "Thank you, Delilah."

"You're welcome." I smile against her shoulder.

"God, she rocks!" She tells Nate with huge eyes when she pulls away.

Nate chuckles, flexing his fingers on my knee that haven't moved from their place for the past ten minutes. I don't know what changed his mood but when he came back from outside with his dad, he had a jump in his step and a grin on his face. As soon as he saw me still icing the birthday cake with his mom, he walked right over to us and kissed our cheeks before walking back out. His mom and I blinked at each other momentarily before shrugging and getting back to work. Nate being affectionate wasn't exactly a surprise so we didn't think much of it. Except he's been like that with me ever since, more so than usual, and I honestly don't know what to make of it.

I thought for sure that after telling him last week I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, at least until I learned how to be in a relationship with myself, that he would get over me or figure I wasn't worth the wait. Now? He's giving me all kinds of hope that I really hope he won't crush down the road. I'm trying to be realistic but part of me really wishes he is willing to wait. I don't want to get into things with him out of fear that he'll move on because I deserve to work on myself for myself but I'm also scared to lose him in the process. My head has been a mess for days and it's ruining the whole "putting myself first" thing so once again I try not to think too much of the way he's acting.

Mia opens the rest of her presents and thanks everyone with equal passion. She's such a great kid, too. A total teenager sometimes—duh—but definitely as loyal and kind as her siblings.

After we get through all the presents, Mia's friends watch a movie in the basement while they get picked up one by one. Some of the parents end up taking really long because the rain has gotten so bad that's it's difficult to drive. I stay back and help with cleaning the house while I wait for Mom to come get me, which is also taking longer than usual.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to." Lily insists when she finds me wiping down the kitchen counters.

"It's no problem." I insist and she smiles at me with eyes that look just like Nate's.

Lily is absolutely striking. She looks years younger than I know her to be and with dark brown hair and eyes, all of her kids resemble her. Matt also has dark brown hair but he has greenish-hazel eyes that Lexie, Mia and Eleanor get from him while the other three kids get their mom's eyes. The two of them together make a seriously good looking couple and the love between them is so sweet that I've been smiling during all of their interactions. It's clear they're absolutely smitten with each other.

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"By the way, Nate mentioned you're an author and I got so curious I couldn't help looking you up to find your book. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Heat tickles my cheeks. I'm still not used to being called an author even after three months of publication.

"I read it. Your book I mean. It was phenomenal, sweetheart. I can't believe how talented you are."

"You read it?" I squeak. Oh my God. But there's sex in it! Sex I wrote about!

She throws her head back with a laugh and I'm pretty sure she knows why I'm blushing profusely. That just makes it worse.

"I've been known to read some good smut back in my days." She winks. "Truthfully it never stopped and it sure gives me ideas for my husband and I. Nothing wrong with exploring your sexual interests."

I think even my hair is blushing at this point. I silently command the floor to swallow me up.

"Sweetie, relax." She chuckles and puts her hands on my shoulders. "You've gotta stop spending all your time wondering what others will think about you. What do you think about you?"

"I don't know." I mumble truthfully. "But I'm working on it. I feel kind of...lost?"

"How come?" She perches on one of the stools and pats the one next to her. I join her, letting my feet dangle. "Is it the pregnancy?"

"Part of it." I look down at my hands, embarrassed about what I'm about to admit. "I don't know if Nate told you this but the baby's father...he left us. And it kind of hits home for me because my dad left me too and it just really sucks. I don't know what to do with myself or how to get over it. I feel like such a baby for not being able to let it go when obviously neither of those two men could care less but I can't change how I feel because of it." I blink. "I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from."

"Don't apologize." The huskiness in her tone causes me to look up and I'm startled when I find tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Delilah."

"That's okay." I whisper. There's a knot in my throat and I'm pretty sure if I say anything else I'll burst out crying so I stay quiet. Luckily, Lily has a few things to say.

"You're not a baby for not getting over it. You deserve to overcome this at a pace that doesn't overwhelm you."

"I know that. I do." I try to swallow the gravel in my throat. "But I feel like I'm clinging on to a bad situation that I should just let go of. Isn't it stopping me from living my life?"

"Is it? Or do you really think that shoving it away, that ignoring your pain will allow you to move on? Do you really believe that ignoring your problems won't affect your friendships and relationships or how you mother this baby?"

"I don't believe that." I say softly and sniffle when my nose stings. "That's why I want to deal with it now but this is something I have to do alone."

"So? Why does that bother you?"

"Because...I'm being selfish. There are people in my life that expect things from me, that I'm responsible for, and I've put them all on pause so I can deal with my problems."

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"That's not selfish, sweetheart." She ticks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "That's being selfless. Being selfish would be dragging all of these people down with you because you don't want to be alone. Instead, you're facing this by yourself even though it scares you and even though you're unsure whether or not these people will still be there when you're ready all because you want what's best for them. Even when your world is a mess, you're still looking out for others. Who on earth told you that's selfish?"

"Myself. We're not exactly on agreeing terms lately." I shrug and Lily laughs softly.

"Don't you spend a second worrying about who will be there or who won't be there when you come out of the water. If there are people in your life that would rather let you drown because they're too impatient while you learn to swim, then they're not people worth having in your life."

"And what if I'm scared of losing someone really important to me?" I don't look at her when I ask because I know she knows who I'm talking about.

There's a smile in her voice. "Well, I'd like to think this person's mother raised them better than that."

I meet her eyes again, ones that stare back knowingly.

"Have faith in my boy." She whispers and leans forward to kiss my forehead. "I know he understands."

I don't respond to that. I can't. Not when I'm about to burst into tears at any moment. An immense weight is gone from my shoulders knowing that Nate's mother supports me instead of hating me for not being with her son. Gratitude like I've never known overwhelms me from her support. From Nate's support. Even his dad's support.

God, these people are amazing.

When she leaves the kitchen with one final side-hug, I quickly swipe away the few tears that managed to escape my hold. I pull out my phone from my dress pocket and frown when I see a missed call from my Mom. She's probably here to pick me up.

I call her back, swinging my legs back and forth while I wait for her answer.

"Hello?" She picks up on the third ring.

"Hey, Mama. You here?"

"No, honey. I had to turn back around. The rain is awful and I could barely drive in it without worrying I would have an accident."

"Oh, no." My gut twists, wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do now.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Do you want me to try again in a couple of hours? Maybe the rain will stop."

I take a peek at the kitchen clock. It's almost midnight. "No way, Mama. I don't want you driving by yourself so late. I'll figure something out."

"Maybe you can spend the night there? Are you okay with that?"

"I'll ask Nate if that's okay but it should be. You just be safe, okay?"

"You too, honey. I'll pick you up first thing in the morning. Let me know if you need anything or if you change your mind. I'll come if you want me to."

"I'll let you know, Mama. See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too."

I end the call and blow out a breath while nerves gnaw at my belly. Will they really let me spend the night? Isn't that pushing it?

"Everything okay?" A familiar deep voice sends a shiver up my spine and I look at the kitchen doorway where Nate holds both sides of it, his arms above his head. His huge build seems to take up the entire space and I try not to salivate over how snugly his shirt clings to his body.

"Hey." I can feel how tight my smile is. "Mom couldn't make it cause of the rain so she had to turn around. I don't think she can get me until morning."

I leave it at that and hope he fills in the blanks. I'm not disappointed when he asks, "Need to spend the night?"

"If that's okay." I say quickly. "If not just direct me to a hotel near by or something and I can go."

"Like hell you're spending the night alone in a random place." He narrows his eyes at me like he can't believe I would suggest such a thing. Well, then. "You're staying here where it's safe, got me?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not asking, Del. I'm telling. You stay here."

I roll my eyes at his bossy tone. "Fine, your highness."

His lips twitch and he drops his arms, raising a brow. I don't miss the "smartass" he mutters under his breath when he crooks his finger to beckon me towards him. I hop off the stool with a barely contained smile and he grabs my hand when I reach him, leading us toward the staircase.

"Wait." I protest before he can take another step. "Shouldn't we ask your parents?"

"They'll be fine with it."

"Nate, please. Let me ask."

"Mom! Dad!" He shouts instead and I glare at him. So not what I meant.

"What's up?" Matt comes out one of the doors in the narrow hallway beside the living room. Lily is close behind him.

"Del's mom couldn't make it through the rain to pick her up. Is it cool if she spends the night?"

"Of course." Lily smiles at me. "You can stay in Aria's bedroom. The sheets are clean and there's spare toiletries in the bathroom."

"Thank you so much." I barely finish the sentence when Nate starts tugging me up the stairs. In a haste I call out to them, "Goodnight!"

"Night, sweetheart." Matt calls back with a laugh that sounds way too pleased. I pretend like I don't notice.

Nate guides me inside a room that I instantly recognize as his. The furniture is sleek and cool-toned and the walls are lined with posters of different boxers. I take a moment to inspect the photo frames on his desk, smiling at the pictures of him and his parents and his sisters. There's even pictures of him and who has to be Asher as kids. His bed is crazy big, probably king-sized, and the sheets are made to perfection. His room is neat and inviting and so like him.

"You're sleeping here." He all but commands.

"What?" I practically squawk. His parents had asked me to take Aria's room.

He chuckles at the expression on my face and I feel the back of my neck grow warm. "I'm saying I'll take Aria's room. It's smaller and the bed is only twin-sized since her visits aren't as frequent as mine. It's way too uncomfortable and I don't want you sleeping on such a small space. You're sleeping for two so you and the baby get the bigger bed."

"You don't have to do that." I tell him even as my chest flutters at his words. Why does he have to be so freaking sweet?

"I know. I want to." He shrugs. "I'll bring you a spare toothbrush from Ria's bathroom. Need anything else?"

"I wanted to shower, if that's okay. Can I get towels and something to sleep in?" At the thought, I look down at my belly. "Although I'm not sure anything would fit me properly."

His eyes drag down the length of my body and I try not to squirm self-consciously. Now that I'm showing, my body has changed. I've always had a naturally slim physique and I feel so different being round on my waist and hips. The only perk is that my boobs have gotten bigger but still, I don't think Nate finds Mom bodies all that attractive. Especially when he's surrounded by strippers most of the time.

"My shirts will fit you just fine." His voice sounds huskier than normal. "You want a pair of sweats, too?"

I'm pretty sure my face is on fire when I admit, "Actually, I'm comfiest when I sleep without pants these days so..."

"Right." Something flashes in his eyes but it's gone before I can decipher it. "I'll grab everything and leave it on the bed while you shower. If you need me I'll be down the hall in Ria's room."

"Okay. Thank you." I clasp my hands in front of me awkwardly. The air between us is always so tense.

"Night." He finally whispers, backing away and watching me the entire time.

I give him a little wave, not trusting myself with words, and release the breath I'd been holding when he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. I don't think I'll ever get used to being around him. I look around me and feel the urge to laugh hysterically when I realize holy crap, I'm in Nate's room!

This is the bed he sleeps in, and the desk he sits at, and the shower he uses every time he's here and now I'm in his space. How freaking weird.

Before I get too caught up in my thoughts and start overthinking, I head for the bathroom that's just at the back of the room. I make quick work of stripping down and getting in the shower space, sliding the glass doors shut. Instantly, images of Nate showering in here flood my mind and I blush all the way down to my toes when I imagine his hard, wet, naked body...

Yup. Not going there. Not today, hormones.

I shower in record time, at least for a pregnant lady, and use the soap and shampoo that's in here. By the time I'm done, I smell exactly like Nate and oddly enough feel the urge to make out with myself. Pregnancy is weird.

Realizing I didn't even grab a towel before showering, I open the bathroom door just a crack and peek in to make sure I'm alone. I breathe a sigh of relief when I find the room empty and my eyes land on a neatly folded towel on the bed. I run to it and wrap it around my body, grabbing the shirt that's also on the bed and run back inside the bathroom. Because no way am I lounging around naked in Nate's bedroom. None.

After drying my hair I slip on the t-shirt and am pleasantly surprised when it falls a few inches above my knees, even with my belly. It's still shorter than I'd like it but it's not like I'm strutting around the house like this so it's fine. I toss the towel into the laundry hamper that's in the corner of the bathroom and step out, only to freeze when I see Nate sitting on the edge of his bed. His back is to me so he hasn't noticed me yet and I'm thankful for that because I know I probably look like I want to bolt. What's he doing here? And why am I so nervous all of a sudden?

The bathroom door makes more noise than I intended when I close it and Nate swivels his head toward me. His eyes immediately drop to my bare legs and his chest rises with a deep inhale, eyes blazing. Meanwhile, I'm trying not to gawk at the black tank that shows off those big bulky shoulders and his equally big biceps that are tensed up. The tattoo sleeve on his left arm is the icing on the cake that just about ignites my ovaries on fire.

"Hi." My voice sounds quieter than usual in the silent room.

"Hey." His sounds even deeper. "Just wanted to see if you needed anything else."

"I'm okay." I tell him honestly as I tentatively walk toward him. He stays seated except now his hands are gripping his knees so tightly, his knuckles are white. I stop right in front of him and his head tilts back to look at me. A muscle pulses in his jaw. "Is everyone asleep?"

He nods and something shifts in his gaze. I can't exactly say what it is but it makes my stomach flip. His eyes drop back down to my legs briefly before coming back to my face and his hands tense up even more. Avery's comment comes back to me for the millionth time since she said it—the one about Nate trying not to touch me. I always wondered about it but right now I'm more sure than ever that that's exactly what he's trying to do. My stomach flips again.

"Will you be able to sleep okay?" I ask when the silence becomes too overwhelming. If we don't talk then I'll get hung up on the tension that seems to crackle between us. "You know, in a bed that small?"

"I'll be fine." God, his voice is hoarse. "You need lights to help you sleep or are you good?"

I blink in shock. How did he know I never slept with my fairy lights in my bedroom off? "Um...no. I should be good."

"'Kay." His eyes narrow when I roll my shoulder back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I shake my head. "Just a little sore. Today was busy."

I roll it again and he watches me with his lips turned down. Then he scoots all the way back on the bed until his back is against the headboard. He places his feet on the bed so his knees are in the air and spreads his legs. I try not to gawk at the panty-melting image of his hulking body laid out like that looking like a masterpiece. I mean come on, the guy is wearing grey sweatpants for Christ sake.

My eyes are the size of saucers when he pats the space between his legs and says, "C'mere."

"Huh?" I squeak dumbly. He wants me to what now?

One corner of his lip curls up and he smirks in that way I love so much. "Get your ass over here, baby."

"Why?" I ask instead of focusing on the fact that he just called me baby. I have to be hallucinating right now.

"So I can massage you." He says it like it's obvious. Meanwhile, I can't stop gaping at him. Is he for real?

One eyebrow goes up and joins his smirk. "Any day now."

"Um...I don't..." My eyes swing to the door like I'm going to make a run for it. That just makes Nate laugh quietly under his breath.

"I don't bite, Del." His tongue darts out to lick his lips. "Unless you want me to."

Oh my God. What the hell has gotten into him?

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