The rays of the setting sun tickle the tip of my nose. Searing heat plays around my naked body. The fluffy fabric of our blanket hugs my body closely. Dull silence wafts through my head like the haze of morning mist over the glistening dew-covered forest floor. The world around us seems peaceful to me. It's quiet in my head. No dark thoughts revolving around recurring questions, analyzing words or doubting actions. Soft sighs and the question of why. Everything is still. I breathe calmly and deliberately, the well-known smell of sea and salt, pheromones and desire is in the air. More warmth collects inside me. A hot stream so incomparable and yet infinitely familiar.

I slowly open my eyes and blink against the fading light of the day. The pain is not as existent as in the morning when the sun wakes you out of sleep with all its might. And yet I need a moment to give my brain the information to keep my eyes open. Reluctantly, I turn my head and look at the other half of the bed. I stare spellbound at the back of a man with black hair. I look at the body next to me and my heart beats a few bars faster than normal. Broad shoulders, clearly defined back muscles and light, flawless skin. His jet black hair shines and the setting sun casts a soft light on his body. My fingertips start to tingle. It's the same picture that presented itself to me the morning after my crash and our wedding in Vegas. Only this time I know the man who shares the bed with me. A smile falls on my face and I could just hug the whole world. The thought of what happened just a few hours ago makes me so happy. Alec forgave me. Somehow. I didn't deserve it at all. I acted like the last ass and the greatest diva of all time. My constant doubt and denial of feelings almost made Alec want to leave me. The thought of it hurts so incredibly. It feels like someone else's ice-cold hand is digging millions of needles into my heart. Deep and painfully slow. Piece by piece, millimeter by millimeter, needle by needle. Pain, so unspeakably great pain.

Alec next to me is stirring. His shoulders move only slightly and when he turns to the other side, I see my husband's sleeping face. He's so beautiful and his muscles relaxed. No furrow from brooding furrows his forehead. The hair is in a wild mess and strands hang in his face. And again there is this tingling sensation in my fingertips. I first noticed the telltale feeling six months ago. And the longer I've known Alec, the worse it gets. The longing for his warm, soft skin, the sinful, sweet lips and the knowing hands eats its way through every fiber of my body. The desire is only satisfied with the orgasmic waves and the intoxicating cocktail of lust and ecstasy. But this satisfaction only lasts for a short time. Then the ecstasy turns into a desire to be held by Alec's strong arms.

Alec's mouth is slightly split and the delicate pink of his cheeks is reflected on the sensual flesh of his lips. I could kiss her all day and lose myself hopelessly in the taste of Alec. The sound of his breath comes softly to my ear. Along with the steady rise and fall of his bare chest, it is a sign that he is sleeping peacefully and quietly. That his head is also free of dark thoughts and bad dreams. To fall asleep peacefully and to wake up again is not a matter of course. We have been very close physically in the past few months. However, we often fell asleep facing away from each other or I would leave Alec alone in our bed.

Instead of enjoying the warmth and security of my husband, I went to my office and spent countless hours at night at my mother's old desk. Immersed in a book and with sheets of paper full of notes around me, I only went into the still warm bed when Alec stretched his head of hair, tousled by sleep, in the door and wished me good morning. Then I kissed his lips gently and gently stroked through the chaos on his head. The nerve endings in my fingers got their satisfaction and I slapped my butt one time and the other. And even now the need for Alec's silky soft hair is so incredible.

But I don't want to wake him up and disturb his sleep. Who knows how much of it he has had in the last few days. I can well imagine that the tormenting thoughts were incessant and always present in his head. This leads to insomnia and the construction of the breathtaking bookshelf cannot be done in a day. Countless hours of work have gone into this masterpiece of carpentry and my gift, on the other hand, seems so small and insignificant. Still, there is no other way. The tingling is driving me crazy and I can no longer suppress it. Gently my fingertips touch the strands of black gold and like a blow it runs through my body as satisfaction immediately sets in.

A deep sigh on my part and my fingers gently slide through his hair. Parting the thick splendor and silky soft strands play around my fingers. They slide further over the back of the head and the neck. I feel the elevation of his skin, tender and tingling triggered by my touch. I slowly drive along the contours of his prominent chin, the light beard tickles under my fingertips. The curved line of his wonderful lips looks like a painting. The tip of my thumb glides lightly over this unique work of art. Thick black eyelashes, dark as the night as a contrast to the snow-white skin, pure and light like foamy spray born from the roaring blue of the sea.

This roaring blue sea flashes at me drowsy and my heart skips a few beats only to dance wildly in my chest. "Baby come here", Alec whispers in a scratchy voice from sleep and pulls me into his arms with a jerk. Soft, warm lips find mine, his hot tongue penetrates my mouth without being asked. Pressed close to Alec's warm body, I feel the regular, gentle beating of his heart and my hand automatically lies on the spot on his chest. Powerfully elegant, life and love. This tact speaks out all that I feel. Alec caused a chaos of emotions in me from the first second we met. And finally everything makes sense. Alec's strong hands caress my back and bottom with devotion. With a firm grip he presses my middle against his and I moan softly as the tip of his thumb slides over my entrance. Gently but with sufficient pressure, he massages the point of our union. Sucking lips and nibbling teeth, Alec knows what he wants and he gets what he wants. Always.

So this time too. Because I can no longer deny that I am hopelessly addicted to him. Alec's erection presses hard and hot against mine. I push my hip towards him and elicit a low growl from him. I love it when he shows his power to me and makes my body tremble. "Alec", I moan to his lips and my hot breath mixes with his as the tip of his thumb breaks the barrier of my tightness. Groaning, I claw my way into the hard muscles under Alec's white skin. He subconsciously tenses up and the elevations become even more apparent. His tongue plays around mine almost too lovingly and the three fingers in my bum are not enough for me. I want more, so much more Alec's penis inside me, hard and throbbing hot. But he's not doing me a favor. The teasing game of his kisses and the wet tongue in my mouth with the piercing fingers of release, which are looking for their way over to the prostate.

"Darling sleep with me", I gasp out. Alec leaves my mouth and kisses a hot trail over my chin and cheek to my ear. The tip of his tongue runs over my auricle and I moan violently as his sinful lips suck on the sensitive skin of my throat. I have goosebumps all over my body and shiver like a leaf. Alec presses my body tightly against his and the heat of our bodies mixes with the aroma of our connectedness. Sweat and endorphins, testosterone and the happiness of being a whole.

"I have another plan. Tell me what you're thinking Magnus", Alec breathes in my ear. Due to the friction between our bodies and the increasing pressure in my loins, I am barely able to speak. Especially not to think.

"I do not know exactly", I answer shortly.

"Listen to your heart baby", Alec demands and kisses my neck and collarbone so tenderly that it can hardly be felt. His breath tickles my skin and I have great difficulty concentrating.

"It's more of a feeling." I say pressed and Alec pushes his fingers incessantly into my hot wet tightness. "How to come home. Yes. Coming home after a long journey. With longing in the heart and that is satisfied the moment you step over the threshold of the house and the smell of home and love welcomes you." "Shall I tell you what I think?", I just nod and whimper when Alec interrupts the soothing massage of my lucky point.

"Keep your eyes closed and listen to me carefully. I want you to explicitly imagine what I am saying to you. Form my words into images in your head. Let your feelings run free. Do not hold back. Be loud baby", I nod again, but this time a lot harder and claw my nails firmly into Alec's skin.

"I imagine you kneeling on the floor by your wrists with chains hanging from the ceiling. There is a beautiful velvety black collar around your neck and your eyes are sparkling so beautifully. You have already come, but that is not enough for you. You beg for more and I free you from the chains. But only to throw you on the big bed covered with red silk sheets and tie your hands again. I put black leather cuffs around your wrists, which are already slightly pink from the chains. You lie on your back and breathe heavily. Your lips shine from the saliva that your tongue has just spread over them. I have a black feather in my right hand and let it float over your body. Starting with the lower legs, I work my way up to the insides of your thighs and I imagine how you hissing in the air through the intensity of the sensation, the pen in my hand draws Pattern on your skin and you moan significantly louder than your penis finally receives the desired attention. But only briefly and the spring continues to move over your lower abdomen and the groin. You pull on the chains and moan as my hard cock presses into your wet tightness. I stroke your stomach and chest with the pen. Slow but deep thrusts accompany your moaning and the gentle caress of the feather. Your nipples are overly sensitive and the full length of the spring brushes the hard buds. My left hand holds you on the hip and the fingers dig painfully into your heated, irritated skin. Your moans get louder, deeper and the trembling of your body shows me that your arousal has reached the highest level. I put the pen aside and increase the pace of my thrusts. Your body expresses itself greedily towards me. Your penis is hard and pounding hot when my fingers encircle it and you lean your head back with your eyelids flickering. Your dripping glans is swollen and with every powerful thrust of my loins into your willing hole you whimper and beg for redemption."

"Baby, I want to experience this with you someday. I want to hear your moans and feel the heat of your tightness. Come on Magnus, come for me." Alec's words keep the fog thickening in my head. My whole body is under tension. My skin tingles, blood rushes hot and wild through my veins. Alec sucks on the skin of my throat. I'm just a moaning whimpering something in my husband's arms and listening to his words. The redeeming wave collapses over me and I bite Alec's shoulder as I come between our bodies, gasping for breath.

"Oh baby you have no idea how awesome it feels. Your trembling body in my arms and feeling the sperm from your cock on me is everything and nothing." While the last waves of my climax have reached the deepest levels and I'm hanging panting in Alec's arms, he comes moaning loudly and looks me in the eye. This look goes so deep and I have the feeling to look into the furthest corner of his soul.

There is pure love in his expression and I'm pretty sure he sees exactly the same thing in me. I love him. So much. But I just can't get it out loud. Not now. Not here. It is all that matters.