"Closed event", he says, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Magnus Lightwood. And you are?", I introduce myself and hold out my hand to my counterpart. He looks at me disparagingly and raises an eyebrow. I've seen Alec make this gesture before. Until now I thought only he was capable of it. But apparently this man here has mastered it just as perfectly. I wonder if it runs in the family. Because you can see at first glance that the man standing in front of me is related to Alec. His black hair is not wildly disarranged like Alec's, it is about chin-length and tied into a braid at the back of his head. The sides are shaved, the undercut exposes the fair skin and this is also very reminiscent of Alec. The eyes are slightly darker, but just as blue and bright. The disdainful look, the twinkling eyes, I know a gay man when I see one. And this one, is at least bi. The way he looks at me and my body, he's in the same league as Raphael and right now I feel anything but comfortable. I'm not a piece of meat lying in the counter with the special offers. I am a man with feelings and dreams, desires and an insatiable thirst for knowledge and I love life. And I want to be seen as just that.

"I am invited", I just keep talking and let the door of the car slam shut behind me. Not a muscle moves in his face and only after Andrew starts the engine and I hear the crunching sound of the tyres on the gravel of the driveway, the hum of the car getting quieter and quieter does he clear the way with a theatrical gesture of his hand. I still don't know his name and right now I don't care. With a wildly beating heart and slightly sweaty hands, I climb the steps of the light stone staircase. The tangy smell of a heavy man's scent wafts over to me. As I pass, I glance at the strange man and his tongue is just moistening his full lips. He is suspicious and a mystery to me. The resemblance to Alec confuses me and yet there are serious differences. I can't explain what is happening here, but my body breaks away from my mind and stops right in front of the man with the black hair and blue eyes, the same striking features as Alec. But it's not Alec standing here in front of me.

"My name is Gideon", he says suddenly and I startle slightly. Alec's name is also Gideon. That's even more confusing.

"That's what you wanted to know, isn't it?", I nod hesitantly and watch him pull a silver cigarette case from the inside pocket of his jacket. The soft click of the box opening breaks the silence. It is unusually quiet. Distracted by the sight of this man, I was completely oblivious to the change from the noisy, pulsating city I live in every day. Now I notice it. The sun, warm, the light wind, pleasantly tickling the few exposed skin, invigorating and fresh. The air smells of sunshine and the heavy sweet scent of roses. Even more so than in Mrs Wayland's garden. Soft birdsong, the dialogue of a titmouse to its children, perhaps a blackbird as a third interlocutor. There is something soothing about it. Slender fingers guide a cigarette between his lips, just slightly enclosing the tobacco-filled stem wrapped in white paper, and his face is enveloped in warm light by the flickering of a small flame. Orange-red embers crackle and melt the paper into the tobacco. The aroma of burnt tobacco, spicy and strong paired with the tart note of its scent, settles on my taste buds. In the past, I too enjoyed this feeling. The smoke slowly moved into my lungs, tickling the palate and laying a satisfaction over my entire body. Happy hormones danced their round dance in my blood as the nicotine was transported to my brain and docked with the receptors. Stimulation of certain stimulus sites caused the release of dopamine and norepinephrine. But today, disgust stirs and bitter bile rises as Gideon releases the smoke from his body. It makes me shudder and contort my face in disgust.

"Don't hurt him." The echo of Jace's words, a deja vu of the day Alec left life with his brother behind and moved into my house. The first day of our trial marriage. Right now I'm wondering what relationship this Gideon has with Alec and what Alec must have said about me to make him so dismissive of me. Fear overcomes me, my heart races and I sweat. I can't go in there. My fear of rejection is too great. In that house is most of Alec's family and also his brother-in-law's. I have no idea who knows what about me and our marriage. And right now I'm deciding that I'm not eager to find out. It was a mistake. A huge mistake. Alec doesn't want me around. And I'm beginning to think I understand why. At the beginning of our rather unusual marriage, I was anything but nice to him. The words of Ragnor and Jace, Alec's sad look, his tired eyes when I said an inappropriate sentence after our loss of control weigh heavily.

"It was a mistake", I say quietly to myself and am about to go down the first step when a strong hand pulls me back by the arm. I stagger slightly and am turned over swinging. The impact of my body on the other man's is hard. Again my breath catches and I swallow dryly. Blue eyes and black hair again. A loving smile plays around the corners of his mouth, a large strong hand slowly strokes my waist and comes to rest on my lower back. Warm and well known to me is his body, fitting perfectly to mine.

"I'm glad you're here", Alec says softly, his lips automatically finding mine.