"Alec wait. What do you mean? Where are we going? What are you going to do? What am I going to wear? Do I need a suit? If so, what colour? Dinner jacket? I don't have one. Or casual? Do I need a jacket? Is it going to rain? Then I'd better take an umbrella. Where are we going? And why are you grinning like that?" I finish my torrent of words and now I know why Alec is grinning like that. My questions. It must amuse him to keep me in the dark like this.

"That's nice that you're having such fun. But I would like answers to my questions. I'm not going anywhere until I get them", I say, offended, and drop onto the sofa. My head still hurts like hell and I decide right now and immediately to change this circumstance. The tablet lands in the water, I watch as the carbonate and the organic acid begin their work and carbon dioxide forms. The tablet slowly disintegrates into its components, small bubbles rise to the surface of the water. A faint hint of lemon plays around my taste buds, tingles on my tongue and the painkilling water runs soothingly down my throat.

"I'm listening", I say.

"Leger. The sun is shining outside. So you don't need an umbrella. That's all I'm giving away", replies Alec and I'm just as smart as before. At least the clothes question is settled.

"Can I have another coffee first?", I ask and Alec points to the dining table with a grin. The table is set and now I notice the smell of freshly brewed coffee and croissants. It smells heavenly, only my stomach disagrees. At the sight of the fluffy pastry, it contracts painfully and a slight nausea rises. I'd rather not eat. Coffee will have to do.

It's already noon when Alec takes me by the hand and directs me through the masses of people. The underground is crowded and stuffy, it smells of sweat and stress, bad moods and too many people in a confined space. Where do all these people want to go? There is not a single seat left and so we squeeze into the inside of the carriage and can hardly fall over. Warm sweaty bodies, to the left and right of us, small fat big round ones. And they all have one thing in common, a face like three days of rainy weather. Only Alec doesn't. He is beaming all over and his cheeks wear that soft pink glow of anticipation. Alec holds on to the handle above him with one hand, the other rests on my hip. Quite carefree, almost normal, this gesture is for him. He smiles encouragingly at me, as I can barely hide my distaste for the subway and the people.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?", I ask, earning only an amused shake of the head from Alec. Sighing, I surrender to my fate and only hope he doesn't drag me to some boring museum. Or a miserably tedious lecture on planets stars and the sun. I can't stand this kind of leisure activity today. The headache presses throbbing against my forehead and the stuffy air inside the car doesn't make it any better. The muffled loudspeaker announcement tells me that we have reached Central Park. Alec breaks away from me, grabs my hand and pulls me with him outside to freedom.

On the platform, the crowd continues, Alec still holding my hand. I feel like I'm in the middle of an army of ants following their daily schedule. The worker ants on one side, the soldiers on the other. And in between, Alec, striding purposefully with long strides towards the exit. He has damn long legs. Beautiful muscular long legs. And he is tall, towering over the mass of bodies by half a head. Gracefully he winds his way through the ant army and I just follow him without knowing the destination.

The destination of our journey is the Central Park Zoo. Struck by a memory, I stand in front of the north entrance and look up at the clock tower. I see the two monkeys banging on the bell with little hammers, dancing animals, an elephant with a concertina, the hippo playing his violin and the penguin beating the drum in front of his round belly. I hear the laughter of the children and the admonishing words of the parents. The sweet taste of popcorn with a hint of caramelised sugar, crunchy and sticky as well as the smell of candyfloss settles on my taste buds. Feelings of love and security, but also pain and suffering mingle with my memories. Once, in a long-forgotten time of my life, the monthly visit to New York's Central Park Zoo was a cherished ritual in our family. Once a month, my parents would take me to the zoo, buy candyfloss as white and airy as the clouds above us in the summer sky, and sweet lemonade, a sticky yellow liquid with too much sugar and the artificial flavour of oranges. The first course was always to the penguins. My mother loved penguins.

"Magnus? Is everything okay?", asks Alec anxiously. His thumb gently strokes my cheek and I blink briefly before turning to him.

"Why are you crying?" I'm crying? Hastily I feel for my cheeks, they are wet, tears. It was my mother's last wish before she died that brings tears to my eyes.

"It's all right. Let's go inside", I say evasively, but Alec holds me back.

"Bad memory? We don't have to do this. I just thought a relaxing day would do us both good. To talk." Alec lowers his voice as he says: "Without falling all over each other." Again he surprises me with his empathetic manner and those intense looks.

"A walk would be nice", I reply after a short pause I needed to collect myself. I hadn't been to the zoo since my mother died. Too many memories, too many tears.

"Okay. Let's go for a walk. We can talk while we're at it. Or would you like to go for a ride in the carriage through the park?"

"No. Walking is good. It'll get my circulation going and hopefully get rid of the last of the headaches." Alec smiles, biting his lower lip lightly. I can see his teeth leaving a slight red mark on his pale skin.

"What do you want to talk about?" At the moment I can't think of a suitable topic of conversation. So I let Alec decide.

"I'll ask you a question and you answer. After that, it's your turn. You can ask me anything. I'll give you an honest answer." Dumbfounded, I look at Alec. A teenage party game?

"Okay. What do you want to know?", I ask light-heartedly.

"Do you hate me?"