Deep in thought, I didn't notice Mrs Wayland addressing me. Alec stopped stroking my arm. A strange feeling creeps over me. I feel uncomfortable not knowing what they were talking about. And also that I can't answer the question posed to me.

"Excuse me, I was in thought. What was the question?", I say, putting on an apologetic smile.

Alec bends his head towards me and his lips graze my ear gauzily.

"Where were you with your sinful thoughts?" I swallow dryly, trying to look only half as shocked as I feel right now.

"Your lovely husband just told me he's a carpenter." I nod. "That's right. And an excellent one at that." An idea forms in my head.

"Alec", I say, glancing at him. "Can you build a pergola?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mrs Wayland's eyes widen and the corners of her mouth turn up even further.

"That would be wonderful. Wonderful. Oh Alec I've got some ideas I'll have to tell you..." And off we go into a technical discussion about the appearance and function of pergolas, different types of wood and I really need to go somewhere.

"I'll leave you alone for a moment", I say to Alec a little later, stand up and am about to leave when he grabs my wrist. His fingers tighten around me and I look at him in irritation.

"What is it?", I ask.

"Come back", replies Alec. I am confused. To tell me that, he grabs me? And his tone speaks a clear language. He brooks no argument. What is this? I don't get it. I have to make a face like the cow when it thunders.

"Um... yes that was the plan." Perplexed, I turn around and Alec releases my wrist from his clutches. The twist must have been a bit too violent, I black out and sway slightly. I hurry through the garden, try to make the dancing coloured dots disappear before my eyes by blinking, greet a few colleagues as I pass and see the bartender's mop in the corner of my eye. The guest bathroom is all too familiar. Nothing has changed and again the focus is on attention to detail.

Sand-coloured tiles on the walls and dark brown on the floor. Maritime decoration, discreetly used and of high quality. Colour-coordinated towels and the scent of sea and salt is in the air. My need for this room is quickly satisfied and while I let the cold water run over my wrists, my head begins to make itself independent. Light dizziness stirs and my knees soften. My hands are shaking and it's clearly not from the cold water.

I get hot and sweaty. Fuck how many cocktails have I had? The blatant green one when we entered the party and a red one that somehow ended up at our table with more drinks. Oh one shot, no two. Fuck or was it three? Alec isn't drinking today. Alec hardly ever drinks. Unlike me. I lean on the sink and slowly count to ten. I get to four and rush to the toilet to release a rainbow into the wild. Yes the first cocktail was green and the second red. Shit. That hasn't happened to me for a long time. My stomach grumbles and right now I regret not eating some of the overly fragrant steak right at the start of the party. Instead, I drank to get through Eliza's question time and the barman's probing looks.

After taking several deep breaths, I stand up and rinse my mouth. A glance in the mirror shows me that I am in for a rude awakening. My cheeks are flushed, my eyes glazed over and my pupils dilated. I am definitely drunk. Alec will be pleased. Don't. Alec will hate me. Oh yes he will.

"Who's Alec?", chimes in suddenly and once again I startle. When did I become so jumpy? My abrupt turn towards the door was not a good idea. My head is spinning and I sway. Two arms wrap around my body, supporting me, and I let it happen.

"Julian", I whisper and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel dizzy and nauseous. I'm not feeling well.

"It's all right Magnus. Who is Alec? And why would he hate you?", says Julian, stroking my back reassuringly. I don't answer him.

"I'm off work. Come Magnus I'll take you home", he continues without waiting for an answer and pulls me towards the door. My body moves heavily, Julian's arm is around my waist, the other is wrapped around my neck. His warm breath tickles my skin. When did this happen? When did we leave the bathroom? Why is he holding me like a friend? It feels familiar and yet so wrong. A strange combination. Familiar is good. Familiar is home. But this doesn't feel like home. It feels like a mistake and mistakes end up at the altar. With Elvis.

"What was in that cocktail?", I ask, slurring slightly, already tasting the telltale aroma on my tongue. I can guess, but I need confirmation.

"Which one?", asks Julian innocently. He knows exactly which one.

"Red." Julian is close to me by now. He squeezes me tightly, I can feel the excited beating of his heart.

"Rum", he breathes and now it all becomes clear to me.

"You know I can't stand rum. It goes straight to my head. And it makes me horny."

"Is that so?" His eyes sparkle and he licks his lips seductively.

"Yes that's so. That's also why I woke up naked in a hotel room with a ring on my finger." Deja vu. Realisation. A memory. A tiny little part of a memory. Alec and me and a bottle of rum.

"What?" Julian pushes me away from him. Hectically, I dig my fingers into the fabric of his shirt to keep from falling.

"Ring?"

"Yeah. This one", I say, showing Julian my left hand and the ring Alec put on my finger in Vegas.

"Funny story. I got married. To a stranger. Funny, isn't it? Me who never wanted to get married. I may not love Alec. But he's hot. And has a really hot ass. Not to mention his cock." I babble happily and Julian's face is by now as red as the stupid red cocktail with the even more stupid rum.

"You got married? Are you serious?" I nod vigorously and my vision blurs again.

"I thought... So when I saw you were here even though you said you weren't coming to spare me the pain..." Did I say that? I frown thoughtfully and put a finger to my chin. Apparently I did.

"I thought we could talk again. Now I know what this guy wants here and why he couldn't keep his greasy hands off you. He's so disgusting. You don't even like big and muscular. He takes you apart when he shoves his cock inside you..."

Julian is at the height of his rage and screams at me. Gasping for air, I try to get my nausea under control. My eyes go black, my legs can't take the weight any more and before I hit the ground hard, the smell of a fresh sea breeze with a hint of lemon wafts around me.