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I am not good with expressing my emotions and due to this somehow I always end up hurting everyone around me. Before Sia, I didn't care and now when I want to repent my sins, I have to leave her.

After my mom and sister, I've became heartless and the only goal in my life was to take revenge. I was so engrossed in all the planning and plotting that I didn't even care to look at the pure soul infront of me.

I'm bad, no infact I am the worst, I have slept with a no. of girls before her, I've been a total ass to her, I'm a jerk in short I failed.

I just want to end everything, my guilt is eating me up from inside.

Sia's silent treatment and her bond with that guy Florence is not helping. I have been restless.

I'm a total wreck of a person, I have no idea what to do?

" I want to come to you all, Aiden, Mum and Ellie " I mumbled to myself looking at the stars

Its been months since Sia saw me crying but She didn't ask me anything, although she did gives me strange looks quite a times but everytime I just looks away.

Her therapy is almost completed, but still she haven't showed any emotion infront of me.

The doctor asked me to keep patience as it takes time.

I am keeping track of her 24*7, she is eating healthy and only healthy foods. I've been very strict about her health.

Thankfully, she stopped having nightmares, I still whispers sorry in her ear every single night.

When she use to love me, my only goal was to destroy her but now the only goal in my life is to see her happy, see her smile.

I haven't said anything regarding Florence to her, my heart burns every time I see them smiling but I stays silent.

Every other day, I visit Aiden's Grave, only to say sorry and express my feelings.

My phone rings bringing me out of my thoughts, wiping my tears and putting on a strict face I picked up the call

" What " I said

" Umm Sir, the interview is preponed, its tomorrow" My secretary informs me to which I just said ok

--------------------------

Reaching our room, I saw her sleeping, her lips were parted and she was snoring lightly.

I can spend my whole life just by seeing her. I'm deeply, immensely and hopelessly in love with her.

Going on the bed, I stared at her and tuck her hair behind her ears, pulling her closer like every other night, I kissed her forehead and said " I'm sorry "

She Didn't said anything, only snuggle into me more, and like that I slept.

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Waking up, I saw beside me and there was no trace of Sia, which makes me so worried as its only 5 am where does she went?

Checking our room, I went outside and yelled " Sia, are you there? "

But no reply

With trembling hands, I called my guards at the gate, before hearing their greetings, I said " S-sia, Did she le-left?"

" Sir, Ma'am is is Garden " He replied without waiting for anything more, I ran towards the garden only to see her walking.

I ran towards her and asked " wh-why didn't you tell me that you're going outside? "

" So, I'm not even allowed to step out of the room without telling you, Sir? " She asked straight

" N-no no, you can go wherever you want. Its just that I was w-worried when I didn't found you on t-the bed" I said fumbling up

" You don't need to cry for me, Sir " She said looking at me

" Huh? " I said confusedly and then realised that I'm in tears, my whole face is covered in tears

Looking away I wiped my tears, and spoke in between " what no? Why would I cry? Its just that I washed my face before coming th-thats why "

" Yes obviously, why would you cry for me? " She rolled her eyes, somewhere mocked me

And for the first time, I felt happy that instead of a straight face she showed me a different emotions, be it mocking only.

" Y-yes, Why would I ? " I said laughing, but again felt tears on my cheeks.

God! What is this? I'm happy but still I'm crying why?

" Ok then, y-you walk, I'm go-going inside " I said and left from there

-----------------------------

Sia's outfit

Xander's outfit

Today is my interview with some show, whose name I don't remember. I don't give interviews but this one I'm giving with no particular reason at all.

Today, I won't be going to office, so Calling Leonard, I told him about Sia's lunch that she has to take it at sharp 1:30.

I follow a strict routine when it comes to her. she is my everything, after all.

After giving everyone specific instructions, I left not without looking at her once, she was drying her hairs with the towel, her face is glowing and if I wouldn't have notice everything in detail, I wouldn't have known that she's smiling, a little bit.

My happiness is on another level seeing her, it must be because of Florence, he really cares for her. I'm happy seeing her happy with him.

My phone buzzed indicating that I'm getting late, Taking one last look at her, I left

In the car, I read one of Sia's letters to keep myself calm

----------------------

Before leaving for interview, Some emergency came up to which I have to reach the office urgently.

After resolving the issue, I was passing by to Sia's cabin when I heard her laughter

First I thought that I'm day dreaming again, but peeking through the door, she was laughing, actually laughing. I felt content seeing her, just then I heard another voice and saw Florence

He is making her laugh, he is curing her while I only gave pain to her, only pain.

Seeing the scenario infront if me, I felt like a loser, a loser who don't deserve anything.

Sia's therapy is also completed, I think its time for me to leave, leave from her life, for her happiness.

' I love you so much' I whispered and then left from there making my mind that today I'll leave her life with my toxic self

----------------------------

The interview has already started, it is basically about my life. My life is always been a secret, except of those playboy antics of mine. No one actually know who I'm?

" You never do interviews, what made you say yes for this one? " The lady who was interviewing me ask

" Well, everything has a starting point"

After everything about my personal life, the interviewer asked " tell us something about your wife, we heard you've got married "

" My Wife is the purest soul you will ever come across. I might never say this to her, but she is my whole life. She turned an evil jerk into hopeless lover " I said and laughed a little in the end

" Woah! We never knew that Mr. Xander Black can be this much in love" she asked curiously

" I also never knew" I said smiling

" What is the one thing you regret? " She asked after a few more questions

" I'm not any saint but the one one thing that I regret the most is that I did the worst to the best thing that ever happened to me. I broke the person who loved me the most, this is something which I will be regretting for my whole life" I said

" No matter how many time I ask for forgiveness, I know that nothing will change and I deserve it " I further added and smiled sadly remembering Sia

" Uhh so why dont you say sorry here to the person you've hurt the most ?" She asked me kindly

" I know that you probably won't be seeing this, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. I've never asked forgiveness because I feel disgusted by myself, because my sorry won't do anything" I said after a few seconds

"I'm sorry that I broke you, I'm sorry that I humiliated you, I'm sorry that I abandoned you when you needed me the most, I'm sorry that I'm a bad father, I'm sorry that you have to go through everything alone, I'm sorry that I was an evil monstrous jerk, I'm sorry to hurt you, I'm sorry that you have to marry me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Sia, I'm sorry. " I added further with tears streaming on my face

At that moment, I didn't realise that I'm giving an interview, when I looked around then realisation hit me.

They all were shocked with my revelation.

" That was so deep and heartfelt Sir " the lady said smiling to which I just nodded

After that we talk about different stuffs like my business, rival etc

" It was our pleasure having you here, uh sir one last request, we heard you were a great singer back in your University days. Can you please sing a song? Please sir for your fans, friends and your love Sia Ma'am" The lady requested

I was about to say no, but whe said about my love, I nodded

------------------------

Within a minute, the whole setting was changed into a studio, I took the guitar, closed my eyes for a moment thinking about Sia and started singing the song which I've actually written for her.

I never thought that I would be able to sing this, but today I'll be singing for her

" This is for my life, my love, and wife Sia" I stated and then started singing

"

Its been too long and now I'm lost

Without you!

What am I gonna do?

I miss you

You were my star,

You were my rock,

You were my strength,

But I never acknowledged

And now I'm stuck

With a burning pain in my heart

I can't help but I need you

Coz I miss you

Missing you,

standing here looking out the window.

My nights are long and days are cold

Cause I miss you but I don't have you

Every day I want to see and tell you that

You're everything I need and more

Yes, I miss you

I know, I have ruined everything

I know, I'm an evil monster

I know, I don't deserve you

But still

Still

Still I miss you

Coz I need you!

Coz I love you!

Coz I miss you!

Coz I miss you, Sia

Opening my eyes, I saw people present there were shocked by my singing skills or the lyrics, maybe!

I smiled and take a leave from there

With this, I left the city and Sia's life for her happiness with a smile on my face and a stone on my heart

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