Sorry for the mistakes

Xander's Pov

Smiling she gave me full glass of vodka and said " here"

Fuck!

I was thinking what to do when I feel her poking her finger on my arms

" Water? " She said giving me the glass,

Putting the glass on the kitchen counter, I said " Lets go, you need sleep "

" But you said you wanted water " she pouted giving me the glass, again

God, help me

" Now, I don't. come you have to sleep" I said but she didn't moved

" Xander, Drink" she ordered in an authorative tone, I smiled slightly with the way she ordered me

" Fine, you don't want to drink right? I'll drink then " she said and before I could realise she drank the whole glass of vodka in a go

" What the... woman? Are you crazy?" I said pulling her, while she coughed for a while

Smiling sheepishly she looked up" the water is so delicious, Xander "

Delicious?

" That isn't water, that's vodka and I don't even know how much you've already had " I said looking here and there thinking how to make her sleep

" Oh, it's vodka, that's why I thought why the water taste bitter but soo relaxing " she said to herself

" Xander, I drank vodka for the first time . Come on Time to Celebrate, yaayy " she said happily

" We both will drink more and compete with each other " she said going to take the bottle

She was stumbling in her path

" What no? You need sleep, come on lets go " I said stopping her

" No, I need that bottle " she whined

" Sia, I said you need sleep not that bottle " I said sternly this time and she made an angry pout at first but after few seconds she started smiling

" Noooo, I don't need sleep, I need You" she stated giving me the cutest smile ever

I have no idea how to handle someone when they're this drunk

" Sia, try to understand. Tomorrow is office. So- " I said

" So what? Its been so long Xander " she said interrupting me

Before I could say or react, she came closer and stood on her toes, we were so close that our breathe mingled, my lips parted involuntarily while she gripped my shoulders tightly

Our lips were almost touching, I closed my eyes but her crying face flashed which brings me back to my senses

No, I can't do this

Taking two steps backward, I looked away " umm Sia, no umm lets- "

She looks at me questioningly and then started sobbing " I know you don't want me, I'm not good in bed that's why. You must be having some affairs but I must tell you Xander Black that I'm your wife, ok?, I'm not a bitch, not a maid, not burd-" I stopped her in the middle by taking her in my arms

" Ssshh Sia, You are amazing and trust me you have no idea how I control myself every single time I see you. But whatever I did, don't give me any right to do anything to you, especially when you're not in your senses. I am already drowning in guilt, I can't just add another one. Right? " I said and she listened everything with her full concentration like a 4 year kid, nodding occasionally.

How can she be this cute?

I have not been with anyone since her, Although I did tried to but its just that I couldn't. There was always my subconscious mind stopping me to do so.

No one knows about it, Not even Kyle and Cole because then they will ask me a number of questions and I won't be having any answer.

" But Xander, if I'm amazing why did you leave me and our baby? " She asked me innocently bringing me out of my thoughts

I have no answers to her questions, all I did was to look away

" Hey??" She asked again

" I-I am dumb, that's why " I said lowly

" See? You're dumb not me, I'm smart, right?" she said smiling widely like she won a medal

" Yes, You're the smartest " I smiled

" Really? " She asked in excitement, and I nodded

" Xander, this smart person is hungry. I haven't ate anything in your big office " she said pointing towards herself

" Why? You are not allowed to skip your meal, Sia " I said sternly

" Xander, don't scold me now. I'm hungry. I had so many work in your big office " she complaint

Talking about office, I remember now that she is drunk she might tell me How was her day

I looked at her, to see her already looking at me with her puppy eyes

" You want pizza? " I asked and she nodded her head so many times

" Ok, Lemme order " I said with a smile

" Done, while we're waiting for the pizza to arrive why don't you tell me how was your day? " I asked

" Umm my day was amazing. You know I did so many things today... " she told me everything about her day

Something in me felt content that her day was good.

----------------

" Xander, When the Pizza will come? " She asked me for the 6th time in last 5 minutes

" In few minutes " I said with a smile for the 6th time

She was about to ask again when the bell rings indicating the delivery guy is here

" You sit here, lemme go take the pizza" I said but who am I kidding

She followed me stumbling on her path with an angry pout saying " no, I have to talk to that guy"

God!

" Didn't Xander told you that I'm hungry?" She asked the guy accusingly, I face palmed myself

" Umm Ma'am, Sorry there were some issues " the guy said uncomfortably

Taking the Pizza, I turned towards Sia, but she was still glaring the guy like he snatched her favourite toy

"Come baby, you are hungry " I said and pulled her towards the living area

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After we are done eating, all of a sudden Sia asked " Xander, yoh want to see our baby? Although you said that its not yours but it is yours only"

"You could have done DNA test also, if Aiden was here" she said lowly

I remembered how heartlessly, I abandoned her knowing she is pregnant

" I-I don't need DNA, I know " I said with my head hung low

" But still you left us " she said looking down

" There is no explanation of what I did, I know saying sorry won't mend you but I don't know what else to do instead of saying sorry. You can do anything with me, you want to kill me, beat me anything " I said unable to look in her eyes.

" You're crying" she said cupping my cheeks, I shooked my head in a no

" You want to see Aiden " she asked softly

" Aiden?" I asked

" Our baby, Aiden " she said smiling

Aiden!

With great difficulty, I nodded my head

Smiling she showed me a picture on her phone . Seeing the picture, the phone fell from my hands

It was him, it was my baby, my own blood. I holded him at the hospital

I was shocked and broken by the news I got. I was ashamed of my deeds, I felt like killing myself

" I held him" I mumbled again and again

" Don't cry Xander, Aiden won't like if he will see his dadda crying" Sia said wiping my tears

" I-uh I-I- " I tried hard to form a sentence, it felt like my heart will explode listening to all this.

Sia kept on wiping my tears, I looked at her and realised this girl has gone through so much and that too alone. If listening to this is this much heart wrenching, how did she face everything.

Without another word, I pulled her close to my chest and hugged her as tight as possible.

After I don't know how long, we broke the hug.

holding my hand, Sia stood up " come, I'll show you something "

She took me to the balcony and said "Xander, see there are so many stars, you know there is a saying that after someone die, they become star"

" Our Aiden is also one of those. Do you know which one is he? " She asked

I tried to speak but my voice has been muted, I just shooked my head in a no.

" Ohho, Our baby is that one. See its the brightest of all and it has the most energy, My Aiden is that one " she pointed her finger to the sky

I felt like I will collapse any second

" Aiden, see who is here to meet you? Your Dadda. Your dadda also loves you, you're not unwanted " she said loudly like the stars were listening

Unwanted!

" Xander, you love Aiden right? " She asked me sweetly, not knowing what to say I just nodded

" Say hii to Aiden then " she said excitedly

Lump forms in my throat when I tried to speak " h-hi Hi Ai-Aiden, its your D-Dadda. I love y-you th- " I tried to speak more but couldn't

Sia smiled hearing me

" Don't cry, Xander. Aiden won't like if his Dadda will cry. I told Aiden You're the strongest father" she said wiping my tears.

" Every Monday and Thursday, I visit Aiden's Grave. This time we both will go, ok? Don't cry" Sia said

My heart burnt, I can't describe my feeling into words

We sit there at the balcony Gazing the stars in silence

" uhh I'm sleepy " after sometime Sia said yawning

" Huh?" My mind was still occupied that I couldn't understand what she said

" I'm sleepy, Xander " she said

" Oh, come then " I said

I didn't had any idea what am I doing, I don't know how I walked Sia till the bedroom and how I ended up on the bed beside her

Putting her head on my chest, she slept holding me, while my eyes were wide open.

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I tried to sleep but everything was so messed up, Sia was sleeping almost on top of me, putting her on the bed and adjusting the quilt, I got up from the bed

Taking one look at her, I left the room and went to my study.

'Maybe, I should work.' I thought to distract my mind

Randomly taking one of the file from the shelf, my gaze fell on a book which was under that file.

The memory book

With shivering hands I took the book and sat on the floor, the book was Sia's gift to me on Christmas.

The first time I felt something for Sia was when she gave me this book, I don't even know how come this is here? I have not seen this since Christmas.

Opening the book, I saw a big picture of us , below the picture it was written " Me+You = Forever and ever "

Turning the pages, I saw more and more pics of us, there were also some pictures of mine where I was doing random stuffs. At the down of every picture there was a small caption or the story behind the pic.

A drop of tear fell on the pics, but I didn't care to wipe off.

At the last pages there were letters attached, the 11 letters which she told me to open only one at a time and that too when I really need it

With trembling hands I opened the letter no. 8 " Open when you messed up something "

The letter said-

"Hey there baby,

What did you messed up that you have to read this letter? Huh?

Well whatever it is, always remember that if you have the power to mess up anything then only you have the power to make that thing right.

I know that you can make everything correct, I have full faith on you. So just close your eyes for a moment, take a deeeeeeeeep breatheee and calm down.

You got this!

No matter what I'm always with you because this is till eternity and more.

Yours,

Sia❣️ "

After reading the letters I started crying hysterically

I again read the letters and did what she told me to do, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down.

" But Sia, what should I do now? " I said to myself and folded the letters

Deciding not to read further because she specifically told me that I can read only one at a time

Taking the book with me, I went to our room, not before staring at the brightest star in the sky

" Ai-Aiden, Please forgive D-Dadda " I said and then went inside the room to see her sleeping

I know sleep won't be coming today, but I need her near me so, I just went on the bed and laid beside her.

" I'm sorry " whispering into her ears I pulled her closer to me

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