《You Were Mine [ Billionaire Series #3 ]》CHAPTER 29
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CHAPTER 29
"GUSTO MO BANG samahan kita?" Paula asked when she saw me preparing for later. Ngumiti lang ako sakanya at umiling. "Are you sure?"
"I can do it alone, Paula. Gusto ko lang naman malaman kung anong nangyari at bakit nagkagano'n ang papeles namin ni Diego at kapag alam ko na, papakiusapan ko si Diego na ituloy na lang namin yung annulment." Sinabi rin mismo ni Diego na huwag na ako pumasok ngayon dahil ime-meet na lang namin ang abogado niya.
Sumimangot siya sakin kaya tumaas ng kilay ko. Ano bang inaarte nitong ni Paula?
"Why?" I asked habang kinakabit ko ang hikaw. Dapat maaga ako para i-meet yung abogado ni Diego.
"Sigurado ka ba talagang makikipag-divorce ka na?" My brows arched even more.
"Paula, karma ito ni Diego. Remember? Last 5 years ako yung nagmamakaaawa sakanya para 'wag niya akong hiwalayan. Tama lang 'tong ginagawa ko." Umupo ako sa sofa para i-check ang phone ko.
"Ano ba talagang rason mo at hihiwalayan mo 'yon? Dahil ba sa boyfriend mong Caleb? O dahil gusto mong maramdaman ni Diego yung naramdaman mo noon? O baka naman may gusto kang patunayan sa sarili mo?" Saglit akong natigilan bago nakabawi.
"Ano namang gusto kong patunayan sa sarili ko?"
"Katulad ng ayaw mong aminin sa sarili mo na mahal mo pa si Diego or ayaw mong malaman mo na mahal mo parin siya kasi natatakot ka." Kumunot ang noo ko at nag-iwas ng tingin.
Tumulala ako sa TV na nakasarado naman. Naalala ko kagabi, muntik ko na isuko ang sarili ko sakanya.
"Tama ka. May mga bagay na kahit sa sarili ko, hindi ko maamin," Tinignan ko si Paula na mukhang awang-awa na naman sakin. "Dahil ayokong mag-mukhang mahina. Ayokong tanggapin na after everything he did, walang nag-bago sa nararamdaman ko kaya this is the best decision to make."
"Crizia, kailangan mong magpaka-totoo---" Marahas akong tumayo.
"No, Paula. Kung kailangan dalhin ko sa hukay ang totoong nararamdaman ko, gagawin ko." Nilagpasan ko na siya dahil baka hindi ko na mapigilan pa ang sarili ko.
She tried to call me, but I didn't look back.
Using a cab, nagpa-hatid ako sa meeting place namin ni Diego at dito 'yon sa isang restaurant na hindi ko alam kung kanino pero maganda at eleganteng tignan. Napaaga ata ako dahil mukhang wala pa si Diego kaya dumiretsyo agad ako sa private room.
Nakatulala ako the whole time hanggang sa bigla na lang sumulpot si Diego. Napatayo ako nang makita siya at kasama niya na pala ang abogado niya.
Tinignan ko si Diego. He's not looking at me, but he introduced me to his lawyer.
"Attorney, this is my wife, Crizia Aguilar - Rivera," Nakatingin lang ako sakanya the whole time. "Crizia, this is Attorney Salazar, the nephew of my original and late lawyer." The attorney politely extended his hand para makipag kamay sakin.
"Good to see you," I said.
"Good to see you, too, Mrs. Rivera."
Umupo kami sa mga upuan namin. Magkatabi kami ni Diego habang nasa harap namin ang abogado niya na naglalabas ng kung anong mga papeles.
I looked at Diego who's silently watch Atty. Salazar. Ni hindi niya ako binati kanina. Is he angry? Dahil ba sa nangyari kagabi o dahil sa gusto kong ituloy ang annulment namin?
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"Uh, nasabi ni Mr. Rivera na gusto niyo raw malaman kung bakit hindi na-grant ang annulment niyo," Sabi ni Atty. Salazar.
"Yes. I want to know..." I answered.
"Hindi 'to na-grant dahil hindi naman 'to napasa ni Uncle. Na-aksidente si Uncle noon kaya hindi niya naasikaso ito. Wala rin namang humingi ng copy ng annulment papers niyo kaya naisip naming baka gusto niyong hindi ituloy," Napakurap ako.
"Where's your uncle now?" I asked.
"He died weeks after his accident five years ago." Napatango ako.
"Lately ko lang din nalaman na gustong malaman ni Mr. Rivera kung anong nangyari sa mga papeles kaya ngayon ko lang din naalalang may ganitong inaasikaso pa si Uncle." I looked at Diego. Hindi parin niya ako tinitignan. "Do you still want to continue this?"
"We want to continue this, Attorney. I'm getting married na rin kasi..." I said.
"Kung gano'n, kailangan niyong umuwi ng Pilipinas dahil kakausapin kayo ng judge at titignan kung talagang nag-sasabi kayo ng totoo na gusto niyong maghiwalay talaga." I licked my lower lip.
"What should we do para maniwala ang judge?" I asked.
"Well, ang pinaka epektibong rason ay ang... Hindi niyo na mahal ang isa't isa. Maraming judge ang naniniwalang ang dahilan ng pagpapakasal ay pagmamahalan kaya... Maybe they will grant your annulment as soon as possible." Napatango ako.
"Okay, uhm... I want to take this seriously. Hmm... Kapag hindi na busy si Diego, baka pwede kaming umuwi sa Pilipinas," Hinarap ko si Diego. "Sagot ko lahat, don't worry." Nag-taas lang ito ng kilay sakin.
"Whatever you want, Crizia."
Nagtanong at nag-usap pa kami tungkol doon. Seems like kailangan nga naming umuwi sa Pilipinas. Nakakahiya kay Diego dahil isasama pa talaga siya pero kailangan para ma-grant ang annulment namin.
Nang matapos kaming kumain at mag-usap ay nauna na agad ang abogado dahil aayusin nito ang ticket niya pabalik sa Pilipinas habang naiwan naman kami ni Diego.
I bit my lower lip hard as I looked at him. Tahimik siyang sumisumsim ng wine niya. Nalipat rin tuloy ang tingin ko sa wine ko. Tanghaling tapat pero umiinom kami nito.
"Diego..." Marahan siyang lumingon sakin.
"Hmm?" I licked my lips. Nakita kong sumunod ang tingin niya sa labi ko kaya agad ko 'yon tinigilan. I must stop!
"Pasensya ka na kung... naperwisyo kita about this. I just want to get annulled as soon as possible since I'm planning to marry my boyfriend," His jaw aggressively. Matalim niya rin akong tinignan na para bang mali na sinabi ko pa 'yon sakanya.
"You're welcome." Tumayo siya at marahan akong tinignan. "We can fly back to Philippines at the end of the month." Napatango ako ng wala sa oras.
"O-okay." Tipid lang siyang tumango at nauna nang lumabas. Ni hindi man lang nagpaalam.
Naupo ulit ako. Nakatulala lang ako sa mga pagkain. Pinilit ko lang kumain kahit kaonti. What was I thinking? Bakit wala akong ganang kumain? This can't be! Ganito rin ako noon at hindi ng magkaganito na naman ako ngayon.
Mariin akong napapikit. Mali ang desisyon kong mag-trabaho sakanya. Mali na naging malapit kami ulit. Mali na ganito. Kung alam ko lang... sana hindi na lang ako nag-trabaho pa sakanya para hindi ako nagdadalawang isip putulin ang ugnayan namin.
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"Tanga ka talaga, Crizia," Sinabunutan ko ang sarili.
Umuwi ako pagkatapos noon bukas pa naman yung pasok ko at kung may pasok man ako ngayon a-absent rin ako. Hindi ko gustong makita si Diego.
Wala sa sarili akong umuwi sa condo nakita kong wala na si Paula sa loob ng condo, siguro dahil pumunta ito sa condo boyfriend niya. Hindi rin ako sigurado kung na-offend ba siya sa sinabi ko kanina na-offend ba siya. Handa akong humingi ng tawad dahil naging insensitive din ako kanina sa problema sa annulment. Kaya pati si Paula, napagbuntongan ko na init ng ulo.
Humilita ako sa sofa, I took my phone out to text Paula. I really want to apologize because of what I did. She's one of the important person of mine.
To : Paula
Paula, are you mad? I'm so sorry about what happened and I'm sorry for those words I said a while ago. I was just stressed and I have so many problems at the moment. Masyado kong pino-problema ang tungkol sa annulment namin ni Diego. I'm so sorry : (
Hindi agad siya nakapag reply. I went inside my room. Nahihiya akong aminin na after all this years, after all the pain, after all by sufferings, ang mga wedding pictures at ang mga pictures okasyon na sabay naming pinagsaluhan. In short, our album... dala ko parin hanggang ngayon.
Hindi ako ganun katapang para tignan ng mga litrato namin noon pero ngayon bigla kong naisip na baka kapag tinignan ko ang mga pictures namin noon ay baka maging mas desidido ako na ituloy ito.
I took out the album at the box under my bed. Unti unti kong binuksan iyon. Nasa unang picture palang ako ay naninikip na agad ang dibdib ko. The first photo... this is our first date as husband and wife, we went to Baguio.
Pinuntahan namin ang tourist spots. Ginawa namin halos lahat ng activity doon. Kakatapos lang ng graduation ko noon at hindi masyadong busy si Diego. At the second photo, we were eating an ice cream we were smiling at the camera, masaya kami na para bang walang ibang tao. There's an ice cream on his nose, I chuckled. I remembered that I was the one who putted the ice cream on his nose. I was kissing his cheek at hindi naman mawala ang ngiti niya.
After what happened in this picture, we went back to our hotel and make love there until the dark ate the sky... We cuddled all night. Ah, I missed all times.
Hindi ko maiwasang isipin si Diego. Nararamdaman kong nagsasabi siya ng totoo tungkol sa sinabi niyang mahal niya ako ako noon pa. I was denying it because I'm scared that I'm going to fell to his lies again. I was blinded by the fact of protecting my heart from heartache. Because I don't want to see myself again suffering in pain, sad, and depressed. Kaya kahit na ramdam kong nagsasabi siya ng totoo, pinipilit kong huwag maniwala dahil sa takot ko.
I chuckled. I realized that ganito naman talaga, diba? Na kapag nagmahal ka, masasaktan at masasaktan ka talaga. Hindi natin kayang kontrolin ang mga pangyayari at ang mga mangyayari.
Aaminin ko, hindi buo ang loob ko na makipag hiwalay kay diego. I am stuck between trusting him and giving him a second chance or just look for someone else and try another one.
Hindi ko mapigilang mapaluha habang tinitignan ang mga pictures namin noon. We were so in love, we are such a perfect couple. Mahal na mahal namin ang isa't-isa. Naisip ko ang rason ni Diego... ang mama niya, kung hindi kaya siya inutusan ng mama niya, kami pa rin ngayon? maybe. Baka may anak na rin kami. Sayang.
I know much he loves his mother. Kahit na nasasakal siya rito. Ever since kasi hindi niya naramdaman ang pagmamahal nito. His mom was an illegitimate child. Ang sabi ni Diego, gusto ng parents niya ng babaeng anak because daughters can make money through marry someone who's rich.
Hindi sila nagtiwala kay Diego. Hindi sila naniwala na he can be rich without anyone's help.
Kulang na kulang sa pansin at pagmamahal si Diego mula sa magulang niya. Kahit busugin ko siya ng pagmamahal ko, iba parin ang sa parents niya. Somehow, I understand him.
I closed our album. Gusto ko kasama ko si Diego kapag titignan ko ulit ito. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang kailangan naming gawin sa Pilipinas para ma-grant ang annulment namin. Pero yung mga pictures namin noon, gusto kong ipakita sakanya. I want to see his reaction.
I told myself that I will deny my feelings for him until my last breath, but I can't lie to myself anymore. I admit I'm still fucking in love with him after all these years. Kahit gaano kasakit lahat nang nangyari, hindi siya mawala sa puso at isip ko.
Paano ba naman kasi. He's my first love. Siya ang una ko sa lahat kaya paano ako makakalimot?
Nakakainis. Gusto kong malaman niya na mahal ko pa rin siya pero mas gusto kong saktan at iparamdam sa kanya ang sakit na naramdaman ko noon. I want to satisfy myself first. Hindi ko naman ito gagawin sakanya kung hindi niya ako sinaktan.
Let's not forget that he left me broken and in pain. Iniwan niya ako kung kailan kailangang kailangan ko siya. Ginusto man niya o hindi, we can't change the fact that he left me hanging and in pain years ago. He could have said it into a nice way at hindi yung iparamdam sa akin na parang nakakadiri ako.
My phone suddenly vibrated, there's a message from Diego... My heart skipped beats.
From : Diego
I changed my mind. We can fly back to the Philippines next week so we can work on our annulment. No need to spend money on this, this is my fault in the first place. The hotel, budget, and everything are on me. No need to think about our work, too. I assigned someone who can do our part in the meantime.
Napakurap ako. Is he in rush, too? Why suddenly changed his mind?
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