《You Were Mine [ Billionaire Series #3 ]》CHAPTER 28
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"C-CLOSURE?" Tumango ako rito. I can clearly see the pain in his eyes. Nakakaawa, oo. Pero hindi parin 'yon ang magiging dahilan para bawiin ko ang sinabi ko. I need this. I need this closure bago man lang kami mag-hiwalay talaga.
"Yes, 'yon siguro ang rason kung bakit hinahabol ako lagi ng pagmamahal ko sayo at kung bakit hindi ako magising gising because we don't have a closure." Halos mabilaukan ako. Anong pinapalabas ko? Na mahal ko siya?
"I want you to come back to me again not to have closure, Zia." Bakas ang galit pa boses niya pero hindi ako nagpatinag.
"Ayoko. I want closure. I want to get out of this. I want to out. Out of you." Bumalatay ang sakit sa mukha niya.
"Zia..." Nangilid ang luha ko.
"I badly wants to get rid of you. Kasi, tangina. Ikaw yung unang lalaking minahal ko, diba? Alam mo 'yan. I'm more than satisfied with you, Diego. Mahal na mahal kita noon to the point na nagawa kong tiisin ang mga magulang ko at halos hindi ko na mahagilap ang pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko. Kung hilingin mong ibenta ko lahat ng meron ako, gagawin ko. Lahat. But now? I'd learn to love myself, Diego. 'Wag mo naman ipagkait sakin 'to. Hindi ka ba naaawa sakin? Kakabuo ko lang and then you're here to broke my heart again."
Kumirot ng sobra ang dibdib ko pagkatapos kong sabihin 'yon. I covered my face dahil ayaw kong makita niya akong umiiyak pero biglang may humila sa dalawang kamay ko.
I met Diego's bloodshot eyes. Nasa harapan ko na siya at marahang nakaluhod ang isang tuhod habang nakaupo naman ako.
"No! That wasn't true. I'm not here to hurt you again. I want you to love me as much as you love me back then." Umawang ang labi ko. Kung makapag-salita siya ay parang madali. Asking me to love him again means hurting myself again!
"Exactly, loving you makes me broke. I'm sorry. I can't do want you want."
"But I love you." I shook my head.
"Hindi sapat sakin ang pagmamahal mo. Remember? I used to trust every single of your words at isa na don ang pagsabi mong mahal mo ako, but I was wrong. Siguro dahil baguhan pa lang ako noon."
Pinanood kong pumatak ang luha niya. I want to smirk. Now, who's crying because of me? My ex.
"Believe me..." Binawi ko ang kamay ko.
"Maswerte ka dahil binibigyan kita ng closure, Diego. Nakakatawa lang dahil kahit na ganito ang nangyari ay gusto ko pa ding mapanatag ka at hindi mag-isip ng kung ano ano. Ayokong maranasan mo ang narasan ko that's why I'm giving you a closure." Pumatak ang panibagong luha ko nang sumandal ang noo niya sa tuhod ko.
Namilog ang mga mata ko nang marinig ko ang hikbi niya doon. He's crying hard while his forehead is on my knees.
"I-I know you won't believe me, but when I say I love you, it really means I love you, Crizia." Marahan ko siyang tinulak.
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Pagod siyang napatingala sakin. His eyes is red even his nose and almost his whole face.
"You know what's the most painful goodbyes? Are the one that are never said and never explained, and that's you, Diego."
Mabilis akong tumayo at naglakad palabas ng office niya. He called me thrice, but I didn't bother to look back. I'm in pain, too. Hindi lang siya. Gumaan ang pakiramdam ko pero hindi tuluyang nawala ang sakit.
Iwas ako sa mga taong nakakasalubong ko dahil baka mag-taka sila na umiiyak ako.
I was having a hard time breathing dahil sunod sunod ang luha ko. I even punched my chest dahil ang sakit na rin nito. Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang imahe ni Diego na nakaluhod sa harapan ko at umiiyak. Nilingon ko ang building.
"No, Crizia. Hindi ka babalik. Hindi lang siya ang nasasaktan. Kapag bumalik ka ay sasaktan ka na naman niya. Tama na 'yung nakaraan." Mariin kong kinagat ang labi dahil sa sinabi ko sa sarili.
I tried to wiped my tears. Naghintay ako ng taxi sa labas ng building nang biglang umulan.
Napa-atras ako at bahagyang umusog papasok sa building para hindi mabasa. Lalong mahirap sumakay ng taxi dahil umuulan.
I licked my lips. May humintong kotse sa harap ko. Lumabas agad ang may-ari no'n kaya nangatog ang binti ko. Uuwi na rin siya?
Pinanood ko siyang may hawak na payong at papalapit sakin. Namumula parin ang mata at ilong niya.
"Hop in." Natulala ako. "Ihahatid kita." Unti unti akong umiling.
"Hindi na. Magta-taxi na lang ako-" Bumatay ang inis sa mukha niya at nairita.
"It's raining! Mahirap sumakay ng taxi ngayon." Hinila niya ako at pinasilong sa payong niya. Ngumiwi ako. We're so closed!
"Diego-"
"Huwag ka nang makulit at malikot, Crizia." Tinignan ko ang katawan naming magkadikit dahil nagsisiksikan kami sa payong.
Pumunta kami sa kotse niya, he opened the passenger seat door for me.
"Hop in." Tinignan ko siya. Madilim ang tingin niya sakin kaya pumasok ako ng wala sa oras. Baka mamaya ay sapukin niya pa ako.
Umikot siya para makapunta sa driver's seat. Tinignan ko ang labas at nakita kong nasa labas ng building about ibang gabi na ang uwi at nakatingin samin. Heavy tinted naman itong sasakyan pero nakakahiya parin.
"Diego, ibaba mo na lang ako sa waiting shed at doon ako kukuha ng taxi." Matalim niya lang din akong tinignan kaya natahimik ako.
"What's your address?" Napalunok ako. Sa huli ay sinabi ko rin ang address ko sakanya.
Tahimik siyang nag-drive papunta sa condo ko. Nakatingin ako sa bintana the whole time. Huminto siya sa tapat ng building. Hindi ko na tuloy alam ang gagawin.
"Uhm, t-thank you sa paghatid." Sambit ko. Ngumuso siya at tumango.
"You're welcome."
Lalabas na sana ako nang bigla siyang tumikhim. Nilingon ko siya na bahagyang umubo at niyakap pa ang sarili. My brows furrowed. Should I invite him to give him a coffee?
"Coffee?" Gulat niya akong tinignan.
"Sure!" Nauna pa siyang bumaba sakin.
Pumasok kami sa building a pumuntang elevator. Nagpahatid kami sa floor ko. I don't know if Paula's here o nasa condo ng boyfriend niya.
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Binuksan ko ang pinto ng condo. "Pasok ka."
Dumiretsyo kami sa living room. Hinubad ko agad ang coat ko dahil nakaganito ako kaninang pag-pasok. Lumitaw tuloy ang turtle neck kong sleeveless.
"Upo ka muna. I'll get you some coffee." He nodded.
"Thank you." I just nodded, too.
Nagpa-init ako ng tubig bago ako dumaan ulit sa living room para magbihis. Silk sando and shorts ng suot ko.
Paglabas ko ay wala na siya sa sofa. Nando'n siya sa kitchen ko at inaayos ang kape niya. Ngumiwi ako at lumapit sakanya.
"Ako na d'yan!"
Nalaglag ang panga niya nang makita ang suot ko. I pouted my lips as I looked at my revealing chest. Hindi ko sinasadyang magpakita sakanya ng ganito! Anong magagawa ko kung ganito ang pang-tulog ko?
"Ako na..." Tumabi siya agad. Narinig ko pa ang bayolente niyang paghinga.
"Why are you wearing that kind of clothes? Kapag ba nandito ang boyfriend mo ganyan rin ang suot mo?" Inirapan ko siya.
Ginawan ko siya ng kape bago ako dumiretsyo sa living room. Nakasunod siya sakin na parang tuta. Nilapag ko agad ang kape niya sa table.
"No. Sometimes when he's here... there's a time that I'm not wearing anything, too." Humalakhak ako. He gripped the cup of coffee because of what I said. "Joke lang!"
"Not funny." Maliit akong ngumiti.
"Hindi ako nagsusuot ng ganito kapag kasama ko siya." Bumaba saglit ang tingin niya sa boobs ko. "Why? Are you bother at my boobies?" Ngumuso ako.
"Why would I? I've seen it countless times." Nagtangis ang ngipin ko. Ang yabang!
"Really? Bakit noong nasa Malaysia tayo takot na takot kang makita ang dibdib ko?" Ngumisi ako at mas nilapit ang sarili sakanya. Tumikhim siya at umusog palayo. I laughed because of that.
"Hindi ako takot."
"Talaga?" Yumuko ako para tignan ang dibdib. Pagbalik ko ng tingin sakanya ay nahuli ko siyang nakatingin sa dibdib ko. "Oh? Baka natatakot ka lang malaman kung anong sinayang mo, ha?" Nag-taas siya ng kilay at parang nanghahamon.
"How can you say so?"
"Well, my boobs become bigger," I bit my lower lip. What the hell, Crizia? Ano bang pinaglalaban ko? Well, I want to pissed him.
"I don't believe you." Umusok ang ilong ko sa galit.
"Anong ibig mong sabihin?! Na padding lang ito?" Sabay hawak ko sa dibdib. Ngumuso siya sa ginawa kong paghawak sa sariling dibdib. Parang pinipigilan niya pa ang ngisi niya! Dumb!
"I won't believe you unless..." I arched my brow.
"Unless what?"
"You'll let me touch it." Napatayo ako at niyakap ang sarili. Nanlalaki ang mga ko habang tumatawa siya.
"Bastos!" Gigil kong sabi dito.
"What? Ako pa? Ikaw nga 'tong pinipilit na patunayan sakin na malaki na 'yan pero ayaw mo naman ipahawak." Feeling ko ay uusok na ang ilong ko sa sobrang galit.
"Fuck you!"
"Nice," Tumayo ito at pinagkiskis pa ang mga palad niya para magmukhang excited. "Where? Right now? Where do you prefer, bathroom? couch? bed?" Umawang ang labi ko.
Bigla kong naalala noong kinabukasan after ng honeymoon namin, he licked me there! On our sofa!
Bago pa ako maka-react ay hinawi niya na ang batok ko palapit sakanya tsaka ako siniil ng malalim na halik! Humaplos ng mga palad ko ang dibdib niya para itulak siya pero nagdadalawang isip ako.
His kisses are so good. Marahan niyang sinisipsip at kinakagat ang labi ko. He even entered my mouth to play with my tongue.
Napapikit ako at dahan dahang gumanti ng halik sakanya. He gripped my ass and forced me to wrapped my legs around his waist. Ginawa ko ang gusto ko. Wala akong ibang naririnig kung hindi ang paghahalikan namin at ang mga puso naming sobrang bilis ng tibok.
Naglakad siya papunta sa kung saan. Nalaman ko na lang na kwarto ko pala 'yon dahil naramdaman ko ang malambot na kama sa likod ko.
"I missed you so much..." Ramdam ko ang bigat ng paghinga niya. He touched my cheeks. Dumilat ako para tignan niya.
His eyes are full of happiness and love. Ganito rin niya tumingin sakin noon. Hindi ko alam pero nangilid ang luha ko. Siguro dahil na-miss ko rin siya. I caressed his face, napapikit siya sa haplos ko.
"Zia..."
Bumuhos ang luha ko. Nasayangan ako bigla samin. Hindi ko dapat ito ginagawa. I'm cheating. May boyfriend ako. This is so wrong. My body and heart wants him, but my brain is stopping me to continue this. I'm not a cheater.
"Umuwi ka na..." Unti unti siyang dumilat. "I want to talk to your lawyer tomorrow about our annulment." Nakita ko namang nangilid ang luha niya ngayon.
"Babe..."
"Please..." I beg. "Please, Diego."
His eyes are full of gentleness. He slowly nodded as he kissed my forehead. Humikbi ako dahil sa ginawa niya.
"I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead again. He comforted me even we have misunderstanding. Even I'm annulling our marriage. Naramdaman kong humiga siya sa tabi at sinubsob ako sa dibdib niya.
He wants to cuddle. I know this is cheating, but I need someone right now. Humiga ako sa braso niya tulad ng gusto niyang mangyari. He hugged me as tight as he could. Hinahalikan niya ang noo ko kaya halos magbara ang ilong ko kakaiyak.
"Sleep now, Zia. Aalis ako kapag tulog ka na."
Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi matigil ang hikbi ko ngayong yakap niya ako. Ang sakit kung iisipin ko yung mga nangyayari ngayon samin. Nasasayangan ako, oo. Pero mas natatakot ako kung babalik ako sakanya. I'll try someone else this time.
"I-I'm sorry, Diego..." Humigpit lang ang yakap niya sakin. "Alam kong hindi lang ako yung nasasaktan. I'm so sorry..."
Dahil na rin siguro sa kakaiyak at pagod ko sa buong araw ay nakatulog ako habang nakasiksik sakanya. Na-miss ko ang amoy niya. He was combing my hair the whole time hanggang sa nakatulog ako.
When I woke up, he already left.
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