CRIZIA

"HI, LOVE!" I greeted him. Tumakbo ako papunta sakanya at mahigpit siyang niyakap. I missed him already kahit na konting oras lang siyang nawala rito sa bahay. "How was it? Did you tell your parents about us? I mean, okay na ba? Tanggap na ba nila?" I asked while grinning from ear to ear.

He looked at me without any emotion on his face. Maybe he's pranking me or something? I laughed. Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit. I really missed him.

"Love?" He didn't respond so I looked at him. "Can we visit my parents? I want to say sorry to them." I pouted my lips. He didn't respond again. "Seriously? Why aren't you responding?"

"I filed an annulment." I stilled. What? I shook my head as I laughed.

"Oh, goodness, love!" Napahawak pa ako sa t'yan sa kakatawa. "You got me, okay? You made me laugh." I was laughing the whole time, but he's still serious so I stopped. "Diego..." I tried to held his hand pero iniwas niya 'yon sakin.

"Just sign these." May inabot itong envelope sakin. "Just sign these so I could give it to my lawyer." Napaawang ang labi ko.

"Are you serious?" Hindi siya sumagot. I grabbed his hands. "Diego, what are you thinking? Last night you said we will make a baby today. L-let's do it now. I'm not afraid to give birth, by the way."

"Stop it, Zia," Inis na ang mukha nito. "Just sign these papers so I could leave! Don't waste my time, woman!" Napaatras ako sa sigaw niya.

"We're only 5 months married, Diego... Nagsawa ka na agad?" His jaw tightened.

"Yes. I got so bored. I'm so bored in these marriage. There's no thrill, I don't like this anymore. I don't want to be your husband nor I don't want you to be my wife anymore. I'm so sick of this." My sight got blurred. Shit.

Is this really happening?

"Do you really think that you can get rid of me that easily? I will fight for my rights as your wife, Diego!" I shouted.

"And do you really think you can stop me from dumping you? I will use all my money just to get rid of you."

Mas naging masagana ang luha ko. I wanted to beg. I wanted to beg him to stay with me. To give me a chance but I couldn't. I can't do that to myself.

It's clearer than water that he doesn't want me anymore. I know.

"Y-you know what's going to happen to me, right?" Nanginig ang boses ko. Ilang saglit ko hinintay ang sagot niya pero wala akong nakuhang sagot. "O-okay." With my hand trembling I handed the envelope.

Nilabas ko ang mga papel na nando'n. I signed the papers kahit nanginginig ang kamay ko. Nandito na ang reason kung bakit kami maghihiwalay and it's because we doesn't love each other anymore and it was a loveless marriage.

Oh, God.

"You will have this mansion, don't worry." I did everything to stop myself from crying. I get it already. He only wants me naked.

"Here." Inabot ko sakanya ang mga papel. He looked at me na parang may gustong sabihin. He looked at me na para bang kinakabisado ang mukha ko.

He turned his back on me and couldn't stop myself from chasing him. Hinablot ko agad ang braso niya at hinarap sakin. "D-Diego..." Halos hindi ko kinaya ang mukha niya nang may inis sa expresyon niya.

"What?"

"M-minahal mo ba ako?" Matagal siya bago nakasagot. And his answer broke me even more.

"No."

Kusa akong napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. So, I was right. He only want me naked on his freaking bed! I can't believe this.

Later on he left me...

WALANGHIYA!

Gusto ko 'yan isigaw mismo sa lalaking nasa harap ko ngayon nang bigla kong maalala ang pang iiwan niya sakin. I hate him!

"I'll go and get back to work, boss." Nanatili lang ang tingin nito sakin. Tinalikuran ko siya at umupo na sa table ko. Hindi ko pinansin ang presensya nya dito sa loob. I'm here for work. Nothing else.

Binukod ko lahat ng kailangan niyang pirmahan at ang mga kailangan niyang basahin at pag-aralan. Manakit nakit ang braso ko kakagawa no'n. Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na rin ako at 4:45pm na. Malapit na ang uwian!

Buti na lang at wala na si Diego sa sofa. Iniligpit ko na lahat ang mga gamit ko. Nilagay ko sa bag ang mga dapat ilagay. I brushed my hair using my fingers.

May missed calls na din si Caleb. Nakakahiya sakanya. Shit talaga. Halos matapilok pa ako palabas ng office kakamadali. I'm sure he's here already. Sinarado ko agad ang pinto ng office ko.

I was about to go inside the elevator nang dumapo ang tingin ko sa magarbong pinto ng opisina niya. Is he still there? Hindi ko alam kung anong oras ang uwi niya pero feeling ko, wala na akong feelings sakanya.

I flipped my hair at gumamit na ng elevator. Habang naghihintay akong sumara ito ay may biglang sumulpot na kamay! Oh my, Lordy! Ghost?! Kamay?! May namatay na ba rito? Crap! I shouldn't be here! Freaking ghost are everywhere! Goddamnit!

I was about to lose myself kung hindi lang sumulpot ang mukha ng may-ari ng kamay na 'yon. Gustong gusto ko siyang hampasin right at the moment.

"Fuck!" I cussed. Halos atakihin ako sa puso dahil sa gago na 'to.

"Minumura mo ba ako?" Matalim ang tingin nito sakin kaya tinaliman ko rin ang tingin ko sakanya. Gago talaga siya. 'Wag niyang idadahilan na nasa hotel and resorts niya ako.

"Bakit? Paano mo nasabi? Sinabi ko bang 'fuck you'?! Ang sabi ko 'fuck'! Hindi 'fuck you'! Naiintindihan mo ba?! Hindi 'fuck you'!" Sigaw ko sa mukha niya.

"Shut your mouth, woman!" Inirapan ko lang siya. Umusog ako papasok nang pumasok din siya sa elevator. Bakit ba nakikisiksik sakin ang gagong 'to? Hindi ba siya aware na ayaw ko siyang madikitan kahit piraso ng buhok niya?

Nakanguso lang ako habang naghihintay na makarating sa ground floor ang elevator. I'm sure naghihintay na sakin si Caleb. Alright, Caleb is a damn good looking man. 6 footer din ito katulad ng kumag na kasama ko ngayon pero hindi hamak na mas malaki ang katawan ni Diego kesa kay Caleb. Gross. Bakit ko ba sila kinukumpara? Parehas lang naman silang gago. Well, mas gago naman si Diego. Kinikilabutan talaga ako kapag---

"OH MY GOSH!" I shouted. Bigla kasing gumalabog ang elevator at nawalan ng ilaw. "SHIT!" I started to panic. Nang lingunin ko si Diego ay mukhang badtrip na rin siya. kinakalikot niya ang phone niya.

"Fucking answer my call."

"Are we stuck?!" Gigil kong tanong. Kulang na lang ay sabunutan ko siya. I can't stay here with him! "Answer me!"

"Lessen your voice!"

"Ewan ko sayo!"

Kinuha ko ang phone mula sa bag. I tried to call Caleb for help pero walang signal. Siguro dahil masyadong kulob or something. Maya maya ay mahihirapan na kaming huminga. Paano na 'to? Ayokong mamatay kasama ang gagong 'to. Parang pinatunayan na rin namin ang 'till death do us part. I tried to call Caleb again pero hindi niya talaga sinasagot.

"Damn you, Caleb." Inis kong sabi. Napatingin sakin bigla si Diego. "What?"

"Why did you mentioned your boyfriend's name?" Tsismoso.

"He's going to pick me." I bit my lower lip. Kahit naman maganda ako, hindi ko pa din maaatim na paghintayin sakin si Caleb. He's been a good friend of mine kahit pa noon.

Natigilan ako nang isuksok niya ulit sa bulsa niya ang cellphone na gamit.

“Why? Call the maintenance now! I can't stay here!” Inis kong saad.

“Tsk.”

“Diego!” Kulang na lang ay hambalusin o siya ng bag. “Fucking call the maintenance! I can't stay here! We will get suffocate if we stay here!” Halos isigaw ko na 'yon sa mukha niya pero parang wala siyang naririnig. “Damn it!”

Sinipa ko ang pinto ng elevator.

“Bakit ba ayaw mong tawagan yung maintenance?! Can't you see that my boyfriend is waiting for me?!” He sent me a death glare.

“That's why I stop calling the maintenance. I don't want you to be with your boyfriend yet. Let him wait.” Gago! Isa siyang malaking gago! Hinayupak!

Hinampas ko ng bag ang braso niya. Walanghiya! Ang kapal ng mukha niyang gawin to! He has no rights!

“Call the maintenance! I can't stay here!” Para siyang bingi na hindi ako naririnig. Kahit na anong talim ng tingin ko sakanya ay hindi siya natitinag. Kulang na lang ay pingutin ko siya.

Dinial ko ang number ni Paula. Kailangan niyang gumawa ng paraan. Alam niya ang issue ko about Diego kaya for sure gagawa siya agad ng paraan, but she did not answer my call!

Me to Paula :

'Fucking pick up the phone, Paula! I'm stuck with him! Call the maintenance. We're stock in elevator!'

Me to Caleb :

'Caleb, I'm stuck inside the elevator. Help me out.'

Gigil kong text. Hindi ba nag-aalala ang gagong to na masuffocate ako? Inis akong umupo sa gilid. I closed my eyes. I'm sure narecieved na ni Paula ang text ko at gumagawa na siya ng paraan.

“You okay?” Hindi ko siya pinansin. Gago siya. “Zia.”

“Stop.” I looked at the ceiling. “What is this all about? You must call the maintenance so they could help us out.” Pagod na rin ako sa trabaho.

“Lowbat." Inirapan ko siya.

I don't have any idea why the hell is he doing this. As much as possible I don't want to stay this near to him. I closed my eyes and memories accidentally flashed inside my mind.

“Diego?” I pouted my lips while my eyes were focused on TV.

We're on a bed and watching movie. Cuddling is the best! I love his smell. I love his biceps hugging me. I love the way he wrapped his arms around me and it makes me feel safe. I love him!

“Hmm?” He kissed my temple. Actually, we were just done making love so... We're naked! My cheeks turned red.

“How many kids do you want?” Tiningala ko siya and I smiled when I saw his smirk.

“8 babies?”

“Are you serious? I can't give birth to 8 babies, Diego.” He chuckled and hugged me even more.

“I love you.” I bit my lower lip to stop myself from grinning.

“I love you more, Diego. I don't know what I am going to do kapag iniwan mo 'ko."

“I won't leave you. I promise."

I gritted my teeth as I opened my eyes. I hate it. I hate those memories! Lalo na kapag mga pangako niya ang naaalala ko! I hate him so bad!

Liar

Nanatili akong tahimik. There's no reply from my friends. Kung ayaw niyang tawagan ang maintenance, edi huwag. Hindi ko siya pipilitin. I can survive anyway. I looked at my wrist to check what time is it.

I have many things to do pero pinapatagal ng gagong 'to ang pagkakalugmok namin dito. Oh, how much I wanted to punch his face so bad. Parang gusto ko na lang siyang basta sipain.

Napailing ako nang maalala ko kung paano niya ako literal na iniwan noon. My gosh! Bakit sa lahat ay siya pa ang kailangan na makasama ko dito sa elevator? Kaya ko namang mag-isa.

“A-are you going to leave me now?” I asked while watching him packing his things.

“Yeah.”

Tinalikuran ko siya para hindi niya makita ang mga luha kong sunod sunod na bumubuhos. I thought he will say sorry at nagkamali lang siya ng desisyon but no, nandito siya para kunin ang gamit niya.

He's leaving me!

I wiped my tears nang narinig kong tumigil na siya sa pag-iimpake. Maybe he's done packing. I blow a deep breath. Come on! Don't cry.

Kusang gumalaw ang katawan ko at nilingon siya. Hindi ko na pinansin ang pag-agos ng luha ko. The way he look at me is freaking killing me. He's not the same Diego. Hindi siya ang taong minahal ko.

Ang Diego na nakilala ko ay hindi ako kayang tiniisin. Hindi ako kayang saktan. Hindi ako hahayaang umiyak at magdusa ng ganito kaya hindi siya ang Diego ko! He's not my Diego!

Nanatiling walang emosyon sa mga mata niya hanggang sa talikuran niya ako. Napatayo ako bigla. Is he serious? Ganito na lang? Pagkatapos ng lahat lahat na nangyari sakin ay ganito na lang? Pagkatapos kong iwan ang lahat?!

“Die---”

“Don't try to chase me,” Lumingon ito sakin. Hindi kami gano'n magkalayo kaya maaabot ko siya para yakapin.

“Sabi mo, mahal mo 'ko, hindi ba? A-ano nang nangyari? B-bakit ganito na? H-hindi mo na ba ako mahal? Bakit, Diego?” Umiwas siya ng tingin.

“What are you talking about, woman? I didn't love you. I married you so I could get inside your pants. And I think 5 months is enough. I'm done with you,” Tuloy tuloy ang pag agos ng luha ko.

He only wants to get inside my pants. Ngayon na nakuha niya na ang gusto niya sakin, madali na lang sakanyang itapon ako. After giving him all I have, he'll dump me like a trash.

How I wish I could see his real intention to me.

“But I love you...” Tanging sagot ko.

“I didn't love you since the day one. You're so clingy, so sweet, so soft hearted. I bet, you can't fight for yourself. I want a wife who knows how to fight. And oh, you don't satisfy me on bed. Too bad. Masyado kang naniwala sakin---” I covered my ears.

I can't take it anymore! I did everything! Ginawa ko lahat ng gusto niya pagdating sa gano'ng bagay! Hindi ako kailanman umangal! How can he say those words to me?!

Ramdam kong natigilan siya pero hindi ko 'yon pinansin. Bigla akong napaupo sa kama. My heart is aching so bad! Parang ikamamatay ko na ito.

“Just leave! You don't have to say those words to me! Fucking leave! Hindi mo na kailangan dagdagan ang galit ko sayo para ipagtulakan ka!” Matalim ko siyang tinignan. “I regret everything, Diego! I freaking hate you!”

Kusang gumalaw ang kamay ko at sinampal siya.

“Umalis ka na! Alis! Get out! Get lost! Ayaw na kitang makita kahit kailan! How dare you broke the woman's heart who loved you the most!” Tinulak ko siya palabas ng kwarto.

“Zia---”

“Leave, please! Umalis ka na lang! Tangina! Umalis ka na!” I pushed him harder. "I wish for your misery! No one will love you again, Diego! I wish for your karma!"

Natulala ako nang maalala ko 'yon. Pagak akong tumawa. Why do I have to remember those memories? I wiped my face nang may naramdaman akong basa doon.

What the hell?! Umiiyak ba ako?!