By

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I've known that I'm queer for years now, but wasn't a major facet of my life for a long time. As one of the few female-bodied students in my computer science program, I had few opportunities to make female friends, much less explore anything more. Yeah, I was bisexual, but so what? I didn't have time to date anyone of any gender, much less seek out other queer women. My studies were far more important than my nonexistent social life.

But slowly that started to change. Because I'd never had a serious girlfriend, I wasn't sure that I was queer enough to call myself queer, but I began to feel uncomfortable when people assumed I was straight. I was somewhere in the middle, not queer enough to fit into the LGBT community but not straight either. Like in so many other facets of my life, I felt like I didn't belong.

Then I accepted an internship with Microsoft and joined the LBGT group there. For the first time, I felt like I fit in. When we marched in the Seattle pride parade, only weeks after the momentous Supreme Court case that gave us the right to marry whoever we wished, I was overwhelmed by the joy and acceptance that surrounded me. It was incredible.

When I was hired by Google a year later, I searched for a similar community, but in vain. Though there were company-wide LGBT groups, called Gayglers, my office didn't have a local chapter. I was, again, the only female-bodied person on my team, and the lack of a local Gayglers chapter simply made me feel more alone. Plus, I was beginning to think that 'woman' wasn't really an accurate description for me... but there was no way I could express that to my team.

So, after a lot of deliberation, I decided to start a local Gayglers group. I wanted the queer community in my office to feel accepted, and it was clear that many of them didn't.

Announcing that to the office was the hardest email I've ever sent. I was basically coming out to 500 strangers, and hoping that none of them would have a problem with it. And I'd only been working at Google for three months! I was terrified.

That was three months ago. Now, my Gayglers group is thriving – we're planning on bringing a training out to the office, organizing events for Pride, and more. Our monthly meetings are one of the highlights of my week, and always bring back that sense of inclusion that I was searching for. I'm still nervous, sometimes, to be leading the group, but I'm so glad that I took that leap.

Being out is hard. It's scary, and sometimes you invite retaliation for it, especially in this political climate. But it's also definitely worth it.

I'm queer and I'm proud of it!