By

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When I first learned about asexuality, I was so happy. I had always thought I was weird, never having been sexually attracted to someone, even though I had had crushes on people. So, naturally, I was over joyed to learn that there was entire community of people like me. I told people at school, and I was generally met with positive responses. People would say to me, "Kai, you're so lucky you're asexual. It must be so easy without having to deal with being aroused, and sex and all that." I learned however, that it's not. Numerous people have told me that asexuality isn't real, and that I'm just a "late-bloomer" and "it's just a phase" or "you're just scared." I can generally deal with those comments. I just ignore them, brush them off as ignorant, uneducated people. But it was the comments of, "no one's going to want to date you if you aren't sexually attracted to them." and "so, you're never going to have sex with your significant other? Good luck getting one." And so on and so forth, telling me that I would never have a successful relationship without sex involved, and over time, I began to believe it. The few relationships I've been in have been secret, and in two of the three, my partner was just interested in getting in my bed, breaking up once they heard I was asexual. I've recently come across the realization that sex doesn't need to be in a relationship for it to be happy, and healthy. You just need the right person to come along, who doesn't care if you're sexually attracted to them or not, and loves you for who you are, no matter who that person is. But now, I just hope that I meet that person.