By

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I was the purest form of myself when I was in daycare. That was the time I knew for a fact I liked girls, and I fully accepted it. Sadly, that didn't last long. When I was around 6, i believe I told my mom I had a crush on a girl. I was in deep trouble. She didn't think it was right. I think she told me that God wouldn't like that, and I needed to stop.

I repressed my sexuality for years. I thought I could keep it down, and just become "normal." But that didn't happen.

When I was about 12, I started questioning my sexuality. Like a lot. At first I thought I was bi. Then I thought I was pan. I even had a phase where I thought I was asexual. (I'm not saying any of these sexualities are phases, they just were for me, to be clear.) But then one day, I had a thought: What if I'm gay? I thought, that couldn't be right. But then I thought about it some more, and one day I realized I was simply that: attracted to girls.

Nothing could ever really change that. I couldn't change that. So why bother worrying. I began to accept myself. There were points where I cried, where I wanted to die, but I soon accepted the simple fact: I'm a lesbian.

I'm still not out, but that's only due to my family not being really accepting. I plan to come out after high school.