By

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I know many of you have had crushes on your best friends to figure out you weren't straight. Well, that's my case too. Call me Alessa or Floody if you want and I go by she/her, he/him, and they/them. You can choose! But we'll get to that later.

When I entered highschool, I got my first crush. I was deeply in love with him, the typical love-struck kid.

But, one night, I dreamed that my best friend, the most awesome person who we'll call Michi, and I were chatting normally. But, out of the sudden, she said, "You know we are more than 'just friends'." And she kissed me. I woke up not knowing what that meant, but decided not to mention it to anyone.

Days passed, but I still couldn't get the dream out of my head. I told some of my online friends about it, and they told me to see if I had really feelings towards her. It turned out I had feelings for her.

Now, before this, I tried to look for a label to see if I wasn't straight, but I was never sure about it. So, I took this as an opportunity to finally find a label. I searched on the Internet everything I could about sexualities, romanticsms, and all that jazz, but I didn't seem to agree with any of them. I always thought, "Yeah, I am kinda like that, but also like that." I just couldn't really define myself. Then I came to know, that I didn't need a label. I just needed to be happy with who I am, and that's it. I didn't need a defined sexuality or gender.

So, I decided people could call me whatever they wanted, but that didn't changed who I really was.

But that didn't mean I wasn't scared to come out. I was sure my parents were homophobic and they wouldn't accept me, and I was nervous to tell my real friends, specially Michi. I always thought, "Just ask her 'what if I liked girls? What would you do?" And see what she answers.'

But I still can't do it. It has been a lot of time since this happened, but I can't bring myself to ask her...

Remember, YOU DON'T NEED TO LABEL YOURSELF IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!

See ya