《LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 2》Discovering Who You Are

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Hello, my name is Katrina. Or as I'm known on Wattpad: katwritesurdeath. I identify as a cis female and pansexual. I feel as if for a lot of people they were always very aware of their sexuality from a young age but that wasn't the case for me. I think figuring out your sexuality can sometimes be a long process and there's nothing wrong with that. You can truly explore and learn more about yourself as you grow older, there's no need to label yourself so young if you don't want to. I had somewhat questioned it when I was 13- if I liked girls because I felt a spark with one but I immediately pushed that feeling away. Then when I was 18, I became friends with a bunch of people whom were very open with their sexuality and in being around them, it made me think a little bit. I started experimenting with girls, mostly when I was drinking and I discovered I really did like it. So, in 2013 or 2014, I finally came to identify myself as pansexual. I told my closest friends and that was it. Then at the end of 2015, I came out on Instagram and everyone was really cool with it which was an amazing moment. Then in June 2016, the shooting in Orlando happened and I was immediately heartbroken. I sat in front of the T.V for hours, just in complete shock. But instead of feeling fear about who I was, I felt that now more than ever I had to accept and embrace who I am. I wanted to finally tell my parents, I had suspicions that they already knew because my mom had asked me a few times if I was gay or bisexual but I'd always deny it. So, I wrote a letter, the last of many I had written trying to come out. I left it in the kitchen and went to the movies with my friend. While I was out, my mom texted me saying "did you really think we didn't know? We love you no matter what" and I could've been happier. I was raised in a Christian home, so I was very scared of how they would react, even though they had been welcoming of my LGBT friends, it's different when it's your own kid, you know? But after that, they never brought it up with me, it's just not something we talk about. I'm not sure if that's because they're trying to act like it doesn't exist or if they just truly don't care and it's not a big deal. Either way, I'm completely out. I'm open on social media and with my friends and it could not be a more freeing experience. But I would definitely say to people still in the closet, that you have to go at your own pace. I was 20 years old when I came out, there's no need to rush. Do it when you're in a safe environment and you're comfortable. The LGBT community is my family and I love you all so much! Xoxo. Be gay, be fab.

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