By .

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I don't want to lie; I honestly thought I was straight. But, when a band geek walked into my life, she set my heart on fire. Everything about her was absolutely flawless. She had beautiful hair and eyes, was kind to everyone, and was amazingly smart. Not to mention, she played the trumpet wonderfully. Everything about her was so perfect!

But, there was one small problem: I was a girl. I'm not saying that being part of the LGBTQ+ is a problem; it's not. But, I lived in a city where you weren't allowed to be gay, or else you will "go to hell." So, no matter how much I liked her, I knew I couldn't admit it. I was afraid of being picked on and bullied if I told anyone.

So, I hid it from everyone, even myself. I tried to convince myself that I wasn't gay, but my feelings for her were so strong that I knew I had to face the truth. When I decided to quit hiding it, I decided to tell a friend. I chose her because we've known each other for a long time, and I felt like she was the only person that would accept me. I didn't tell my parents because I wasn't sure if they would accept or disown me.

When I told my friend, she started grinning. She was very accepting and was thrilled to know who my first crush was, especially since she had known her because they were both in band. A couple days after, my friend managed to find her sexuality.

It turns out, she liked girls too! I was overjoyed, but unfortunately, my happiness didn't last long. Summer holiday had to smack me upside the head. She was leaving to high school after the summer while I was stuck in middle school. It sucked. I hope that one day, I'll get the chance to meet her again and tell her how I feel.