By

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For the sake of privacy I'll go by the name K. I'm almost in my last year of middle school. My best friends Jaiden, Jesse, and Aria (names are not their real names for privacy reasons). I've known them almost all my life. I started a crush on Jesse the guy since we first met. I was a nervous wreck. I didn't know what to do. My small mind just thought like all my crushes it would go away. Like they always do. But it didn't it stayed and it's still there to this day. I didn't know my sexuality but just said I was straight for the longest time till last year. I realized I'm pansexual. At the time in science class the subject on Hetero and Homo zygotes were always brought up. I sat in the back and would get affected by it so much. Yet of course Lunch wasn't any better. I had talked to Jesse with a few of the class mates of mine. He brought up being bi sexual. Saying it was the same as pansexuality. But to me and probably a few other people they are like completely different. I tried saying they were different but said I didn't know anything about it. I immediately dropped all my stuff and walked away. That was a Friday. Monday morning I came out to 3 of my friends. Aria.Jaiden.John. They were the ones I came to when I had problems I just wanted to talk about. They were shocked but were completely fine after a little while. I found out Jaiden liked Jesse. My heart was crushed after finding out. Why? Because a few years back I had an extremely close relationship. Talking everyday every night till 4:00 am. Playing games, singing, and horrible jokes. But once school started again it immediately fell apart. He started talking to Jaiden. The once best ship in class sank and became Jaiden x Jesse. Jaiden confessed and got rejected soonly after. Up to date I confessed to Jesse but he responded he needed time to think. It's been a month since then no answer. I'm afraid to bring it up I want to confess to Jaiden next year yet all I have is hope.