By

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Hey, I'm Insane,

So, I'm a bisexual that has very strong feelings that I'm not supposed to be a girl but my surroundings tell me I can't be and that is making me unsure.

When I was younger I always had the feeling something was missing, an important part/piece was missing or that it was there only half.

I searched for what was missing. They discovered that I have ADHD, so I thought, This must be it! But unfortunately, it wasn't. They found out I had autism, I hoped that that would clear things up but it didn't.

I always had boys around me, I never seemed to like a girl, well untill I was about 12 years old and a girl in class got my attention. I heard that it would be wrong to feel this so I decided to leave it alone.

Years went by and my questions kept coming and growing untill this school year. I found out that more people in my surroundings were bi, pan, gay or transgender.

My best friend's nickname is smile so I'll call her that from now on.

Smile and I love spending time together! Together with two other girls we were unstoppable!

Turns out, smile is pan and the two others are bi. So, at first I don't care and all is just games and fun but then I start falling in love with one of the girls. She has a boyfriend and wasn't interested in me at all but that wasn't what was bothering me. It was the fact that I fell in love with her in general!

Okay, I was bi as well, I had given up hope on finding that missing piece a lone time ago. I was just different and has to just deal with it. I got introduced to wattpad where I met Pany, my pan girlfriend, I love her with all of my heart!

Then, over time, I learned to look at my feelings instead of ignoring them and I noticed that I didn't felt very girl like, in fact I didn't like being a girl at all! So, to see if this feeling was legit I asked my wattpad friends and three of my closest friends to call me by my boy's name, that has been three weeks ago and they still do. I now have the feeling that I finally have found the final piece.

My dad, however, doesn't see it that way. He thinks I'm going to fast and that he thinks I'm unsure and confused. I am unsure! Over my gender and nothing more! I might act or dress like a girl, my inside says something else!