By

~

So im not one of those people who always knew what my sexuality was. I didn't even think about it until late March early April last year.

There was this girl, lets call her k for now. We were best friends all of last year and i had feelings for her but, like I said before, I didn't think anything of it.

Late last March k stopped talking to me and I still don't know why. It was only then that I realized that i had liked her as more than a friend. So anyway, this September comes around and she reaches out to me. Of course bc i still have a crush on her, i start talking to her again. She stops talking to me again and that time hurts just as much as the first time.

After this i came out to my two of my three best friends. I don't really see my third best friend a lot but im seeing her over march break and i plan to tell her then.

Anyway, back to the story.

During the time between September and two weeks ago, i started getting over k but i started to develop a crush on one of my best friends(the one who has been so supportive since i came out), lets call her m.

M isn't quite sure of her sexuality but right now she identifies as (her words not mine) 90% straight, 10% not knowing.

But then two weeks ago k reached out to me and said she wanted to talk. We met up the next day and she apologized for everything that happened but didn't give me a reason.

So after that we don't talk again but im back at that stage where I can't stop thinking about her.

On Tuesday we had this thing called winter activity day and k was going to the same place as my friends and i. I sent her a text saying i wanted to talk to her one more time on Tuesday morning before we left and if after that she didn't want to talk to me ever again id leave her alone. I also said that I didn't want to keep doing the back and forth thing anymore, either we're friends or we're not and that if she didn't want to talk id take it as goodbye, for good.

She didn't respond