《LGBTQIAP+ Milestones: Book 3》Finding Myself

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Hi everyone, my name is BK and here's my milestone story.

So back in middle school, I was first introduced to the LGBT community. I really had no clue of what gay people were and I really didn't care what sexuality was. But when I first learned the term "lesbian", it sounded right coming out of my mouth. I always loved looking at girls over guys. I found guys to be attractive, but for some reason, whenever I got in a relationship with a guy, it never felt quite right.

Eighth grade had to be the time I began to question my sexuality, if not then definitely my freshman year of high school (so ninth grade). I did a lot of research on the web, looking up the LGBT community and getting even more information on it since I only learned the very basics of the LGBT back in middle school. I came across the word bisexual and it described how I felt at the time so I then came out bisexual on National Coming Out Day my freshman year.

However, even then when I dated the two guys back in freshman year, it never felt right. When I first met my ex-girlfriend back in freshman year, I honestly hated her personality wise, but I thought she was beautiful. Sophomore year comes along and we got to know each other a lot more. I began to like her a lot for who she was and the next thing I know, I got a crush on her. She was the first major girl I had a crush on.

One day, I asked her out and we began dating since she felt the same way. It felt so right with her. Cuddling with her, holding hands, kissing, etc.

Then you know, we broke up about two months later since she moved away and other relationship problems. Ever since then, I've been dating girls and had no interest in dating a guy. Occasionally, I would think a guy was cute, but I wouldn't want to date them. Just the thought of dating a guy made me cringe.

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Just this year, I'm a senior now in high school, and I came to a decision I am a lesbian. I only had crushes on girls that I actually wanted to get together with. I find girls to be way more attractive than guys and I feel comfortable being in a relationship with a girl over a guy. Not only that, I feel sexually attractive towards girls and I feel nothing sexually towards a guy. However, I'm still not out to my in person friends and family, only my online friends knows I'm a lesbian (I hope to come out soon!).

So yeah, that's my milestone story. Thanks for reading and thanks LGBTQ for sharing my story. Much love ❤️

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