By

~

i can be referred to as a him, her, but I usually go as they. it depends on how i feel, but i know no one really cares how i feel or how i identify as. even one day, my boy crush asked me if i was gay and i responded with "no, i'm bisexual." but i don't think it made a difference either way since everyone these days is kind of judgemental in their own ways. and man, do i still have a crush on him. i love him so hard to the point where i have an entire future planned out and everywhere i go i imagine what we would do if we were dating there. but i know he'll never accept me. it's alright. i've been dumped twice and i have never and never will work up the courage to tell someone how i feel. and now i'm stuck in the summer of 2016 where i don't even know if i'm still fully bisexual or just gay or anything. right now, i identify as a them and a biromantic demisexual since whoever i fall head over heels with has formed a special bond with me. but for i will never know if someone loves me, if i will ever love someone, or if i'll ever work up the courage to. for i will never know what love might feel like, for i am queer, but questioning.

no one knows really how i feel except my closest friends, but even they joke about it sometimes and don't understand. sometimes i act like i have problems to fit in because they do too, but i am pretty sure i have problems of my own left to experience later on in my life.

if any of you have this problem, i wish you the best. it's tough. really. i will always judge myself accordingly to how my friends do to themselves. and with that, i sign out.