By

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Coming out is always going to have challenges, whether you live in the most accepting country or the least. But some people don't have a choice in the matter- they're outed by their friends, their family, or just by unfortunate circumstances.

I'm one of those people.

About a year ago, I found myself asking some hard questions about my sexuality. I certainly wasn't someone who'd always known what they liked, and I'd only recently started to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community. And considering my conservative, Catholic family and the conservative, Catholic area I live in... being anything but straight would be a risk.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I wasn't able to ignore the feelings I was developing for my female friend. It took some time to mull it over, but I eventually accepted myself as bisexual and began a relationship with her.

Coming out to my friends was easy. They were all kind and supportive people, and their support meant the world.

However, as previously noted, my family was a different story. It was my intention to keep my identity (and my relationship) hidden from them until I was in college and safetly out of the house.

This, however, was not to be.

One night, my mother took my phone and began to look through my texts- as she had done times before- but this time, I had something to hide. Faced with the inevitability of being outed, I broke down and told her my secret.

Her response was, "Oh, honey, you don't know that!"

Needless to say, it hasn't been easy. I've since ended the relationship with my girlfriend and began one with a loving (straight) boy. My mom seems to think this makes me straight too, and I've basically kicked my sexuality back into the closet.

Still, though... when I hear her call me a lesbian, or say that I'm lying to my boyfriend, or a number of other hurtful things, I can't help thinking I'd rather be closeted.