By

~

June 26th 2016, I came out to my best friend! it was the first time I had to tell someone that I knew in person about my sexuality.

I was so incredibly scared.

I typed up the message and sent it to one of my internet friends asking if I should send it and he said yes.

I sat there staring at my phone for what felt like ages. I just couldn't press send. It felt like the scariest thing to me.

after about a half hour, I pressed "send". I sort of just sat there for a while thinking, "well there's no going back now."

as it was 4 in the morning, I wasn't expecting a result any time soon which helped calm my nerves but my anxiety was still through the roof. I went to sleep a few hours later.

when I woke up, I found a beautiful message from my best friend. in short, she told me that this wouldn't change anything and that I was still her best friend, regardless of my sexual orientation.

now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know why I was so scared. I guess I expected thins to feel different but really, I feel the exact same way; as if absolutely nothing has changed.

in a way, I don't want to put a label on myself. I don't want to say that I'm bisexual or pansexual as I don't think I absolutely have to. but if I were to put a label on my sexuality, I would probably say I'm omnisexual.

my advice to anyone who wants to come out, make sure you have conversations about LGBT+ issues just to see how they think about it and wether or not it is safe to come out.

I did this with my best friend a while back. I found out that she was very accepting of this and I walk about these kinds of things a lot with her.

and also, make sure that you are 100% ready to come out. don't feel like there is any pressure to do so. make sure that you are comfortable with your sexuality or gender identity. come out to yourself before you come out to anyone else.

having a religious, Muslim mother, I was raised to believe that I couldn't be gay/trans or anything in between. my mom was accepting of others who were as we had some very close friends that were, but I couldn't be. she mentioned to me that she would be hurt if I was; she would never stop loving me but I knew it would really change things. but I finally stopped denying it and allowed myself to believe that I liked girls and guys and people who didn't necessarily identify with any gender.

and to end this, remember that you are who you are, and don't let anybody bring you down.

xox,

sammy