By

~

I've never been the kind of person you would call "brave". Ever since I was little, I've suffered from chronic anxiety, which made me have a low self-steam and little or no trust. I'd always have small anxiety attacks (in which I'd cry with no reason, my nose would bleed because I was nervous and people would make fun of me for that) all this due to post traumatic events I've had before in my life.

When I started noticing I was different, I couldn't tell anyone, because one; I had no one to tell, and two; I was unable to even interact with my own family.

As I grew older I tried overcoming anxiety, and in some way, I did. After years of not trusting and being rejected, I had finally made friends. Sadly, all through this journey, I still was wondering my sexuality since I had no one to ask. That is when I met the Internet.

I mean I passed some of my time on the internet back then, but now, it became a necessity for me. I had met the right people, people who understood me, helped me out whenever I got anxious, or had problems with my parents, people who cared. They helped me out with my identity problems, teaching me to love myself the way I was, to leave my doubts aside. I learned the term "bisexual" and became closer to the LGBTQ+ community.

Then, the curious one came.

When one girl in school found out about my Instagram account (in which I shared posts about my bisexuality) and told one of my best friends, my world shattered down. My friend told me it was okay, and that she was glad she was closer to me now, but I didn't feel any better.

I left my account, scared that anyone else would find it. My anxiety attacks came back, along with these new "Panic Attacks" which are much worse. Then came insomnia and paranoia. I couldn't sleep because that thought kept buzzing in my head, 'what will happen if they find out'. I didn't realize how scared I actually was of the social rejection.

After months of talking to my friends, therapists and parents, I was able to get better, I could sleep again. It turns out the girl that found my account was bisexual too! She told me she was supporting me the whole time and helped me everyday to get better. Though my parents and other friends didn't know about my sexuality, I told myself I would tell them when I feel totally confident about it.

A couple of weeks ago, my new bisexual friend (only I know she is bisexual so that is why I need to keep this anon) we met this girl who is in freshmen year in our school, that I'd had a small crush on for a while now. She is an openly free bisexual to the whole school, and for some reason she knew about us both being bisexual.

We became friends instantly and always talked to each other when we were nervous or felt insecure. When you are in freshmen year in my school (I'm in middle school, a year below freshmen and so is my friend) you need to make this sort of "Personal Project" to finish the school year. Our friend said she wanted to show her project when the special presentations, so she kept it as a secret.

It turned out her project talked about the LGBTQ+ community, focusing on bisexuality; the name of this project was "Be Brave Bisexuals", encouraging young teens to stay strong and be themselves. She said the three B's represented her closest friends inside the LGBTQ+ which, as a coincidence, are all bisexual :3

Now, I still have this crush on the freshmen girl, yes. My friend said she might have one on me too, maybe. But all I know, is that when I decide to come out to my close ones, I'd have people preventing me from falling;

Because there always is someone out there.