By

~

This year was hard. I left the tiny sheltered safety of my previous school for a much bigger much more terrifying one, too make matters worse I had zero friends going in. I was lonely, he'll I'm still lonely sometimes but something amazing also happened this year. Here is the story of how I became comfortable with myself.

Part One

At the beginning of the year I was just becoming comfortable as identifying as bi I developed a crush on a girl I was convinced she was straight but then one night walking from the theater to the costume dpt she told me she was bi. I told her that I too was bi and. Later that night I asked her out, after that we rode off into the rainbow sunset in beautiful bisexual bliss. Right? Wrong. She was possibly the worst choice I ever made, she wasn't a bad person but we had nothing in common, she was emotionally draining to spend time with and caused me to prematurely come out to my mom who did not take it well and just made me feel generally terrible.

Anyway after that relationship ended in something of a fizzle I began to get more into LGBT+ pride I read things on the Internet, I started seeking fellow queer people on wattpad it was great, doing this I came across several labels I had never heard of before. I began to once again question my sexuality, I tried on several labels before settling on simply Lesbian. I came out to my mom who was way more cool this time, I joined my schools qsa, I had a crush on a girl, I spent time doing things I loved. Yeah things were looking up.

Part two

Then I started questioning again, this time my gender. Actually this didn't take me long to find the perfect term. Agender. It's hard being non-binary, let me tell you. Zero media representation, bathrooms are a struggle, your misgendered ALL the time. Even my mom who promised to use they/them doesn't and still refers to me as a girl. But it's nice to have a word for who I am. As for my sexuality? I identify as Demiromantic and queer because I am only sexually attracted to woman but I could see myself falling in love with any gender, I know there are more specific words but I just like queer.

Part three

Sorry this is so long.

This part is about the aforementioned crush. These feelings are deeper and based in so much more than the thing with my first girlfriend were. I love everything about this girl, her smile her music (she plays the cello) , her adorable freckles. We have everything in common. She is bi too! Unfortunately it is clear she is not interested. So this summer I've made it a goal to get over her and date someone else.

That was a big mess but I needed to get my thoughts out there