《Three Months》Wishes
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Over the next two weeks or so Dimentio had finally accepted the fact that there was no solution.
Every book he read on cancer at that stage told him that there was really nothing to be done. He could go to a hospital, but judging by the way he was feeling, it was likely that all they would do was make it comfortable for when he died. In other words, he'd be spending his last days in a room locked away instead of out in the real world.
That day when the realization truly hit him, he went on a small walk alone.
Luigi was out getting food. He was worried that Dimentio wasn't eating because he didn't like any of the food he was getting, so the man in green decided to try to change the meals up a tad.
Dimentio didn't want to tell him the real reasoning behind why he was avoiding meals. It was too painful.
He couldn't go far without passing out from the lack of energy he had, but Dimentio could at least make it to the edge of the woods. Once he did, he sat with his back to a tree, looking around at all the plants.
It was late August now. Summer was almost over. He could tell because the leaves on the trees were just starting to change color. They were still green, but not as bright and vibrant as they were in june. There were also fewer flowers out. Still a few here and there, but not nearly as many as before.
At least the air was still warm. He was so glad one thing was the same.
Sometimes there were moments where Dimentio would get hopeful. Miracles did happen, after all. He read that there was a small percentage of people with cancer who would survive without all the radiation therapy and stuff.
But the odds weren't in his favor. At the end of the day, he knew that.
He really did like being outside in nature now. He didn't really enjoy it earlier, but in moments like this he appreciated the tranquility.
He didn't know what his perfect world would have looked like, but at this moment, it would have looked exactly like this. Just peaceful nature surrounding him. Although it was a tad lonely. He enjoyed being outside more while Luigi or Polterpup were there with him.
He wondered how else the plants would change throughout the year. Would they revert back to exactly the way they were by the time next year rolled around, or would they be different even then?
He wished he could see. He wished he paid attention to things like this more before.
Before he joined Team Bleck. Before he stopped caring about the world. Before he stopped noticing the small things in life.
It wasn't that the world was all bad, it was just that he was waiting for the world to be perfect before actually taking the time to appreciate it. Growing up he had only ever seen bad, but maybe that was because he never even tried looking for reasons to be happy. He wished he would have looked sooner. Maybe things would have been different if he did. Maybe he wouldn't be sick now. Maybe he wouldn't have been dying.
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He didn't even wish that he was born into another life anymore. He just wished that back then he knew what he knew now. He wished that he had run away before joining the Count and making such a mess. He had the power, he could have very easily teleported over to the Mushroom Kingdom and met Mario and Luigi. He could have introduced himself as a good guy. He wouldn't have to hide or anything. He could go out with them on go-cart nights, he could play all the sports, he could walk with Luigi whenever he wanted, heck, he could even have accompanied them on one of their heroic quests. All he would have had to do was accept the fact that the world was imperfect. The Count would have died in his place, and everything would have been okay. He wouldn't be dying and he wouldn't be marked as the traitor who nearly ended all worlds.
Just thinking about the life he could have led hurt, knowing that he'd never get to have that life. Why did he choose this path for himself? It was his fault that he was dying, it was his fault that no one would remember him, and it was his fault that he'd never make a mark within himself. Things could have been so much better if he had just accepted the fact that life was full of imperfections.
He could have lived a long, happy life. He could have been liked, maybe even loved. He could have his own perfect world.
He could have meant something, not just to the world, but to himself.
But instead, he was dying. He was dying and powerless, still wasting his time being afraid of the inevitable.
He wished he could have been more like Luigi. It was wonderful to see how connected to everything Luigi was. Sure, the man in green had made a mark on himself, but he also had already made his mark on the world. If he were to disappear, everyone would still remember him as the hero he was. He was just that connected to the world around him. He could walk up and start a conversation with anyone, acting as if they were old friends.
He was starting to see why people would miss things like that. Being connected helps someone miss things. Luigi was so connected to everything that if he were to die, there would probably be nothing he wouldn't miss. Dimentio on the other hand felt so disconnected and distant. When he died the first time the only thing he missed was the ability to feel temperatures. How sad was that??
Why didn't he miss his former teammates back then? Why didn't he miss Luigi? Heck, why didn't he miss the Count? Or his powers? Why was his mind so empty? Why didn't he allow himself to get attached to anything? Was he really that afraid of getting hurt? He was so afraid of connections that he made sure to distance himself further from everything and ended up wasting his life in loneliness.
He told Luigi before that he didn't miss his home back at Castle Bleck, but a part of him was wondering if he should. His answer didn't feel so solid anymore.
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He wasn't sure what he'd miss when he died now. Yes, he'd still miss feeling warm and cold, but there was more now.
He was sure he'd miss Polterpup. That was a given. He'd miss the feeling of companionship the dog offered and he'd miss getting to pet the little ghost. He'd miss secretly feeding the pup all the extra food he didn't eat so Mario and Luigi wouldn't worry about the fact that he was eating very little now.
He'd also miss the tension there always was whenever he and Mario were in the same room. He wasn't sure why he'd miss this, but he knew he would. He supposed that feeling always kept him real. It reminded him of his past and how he couldn't just completely push past that. It told him that his actions were real and had effects. He'd have to find time to actually apologize for what he did. He wasn't sorry about it before, because he honestly saw himself as the hero of his own story, but he sure was sorry now.
Lastly, he'd miss Luigi's kindness. The way Luigi hid his fears. The way the man in green spoke, the words he said, the tone of his voice, his smile, his laugh, everything about him. Dimentio would miss it all. He couldn't help but feel lucky that Luigi even let him into his life, considering their history. Sometimes he still wondered why, even though Luigi had somewhat explained it.
He supposed that was just what heroes did. They saved people who needed to be saved.
He wished he knew he needed to be saved sooner. It would have saved him a lot of time if he just knew he needed help. If he just knew he couldn't handle this on his own. Maybe if he knew what he knew now from the very beginning of these three months, he would have just run up to Luigi and told him what was happening. Together, they could have surely figured something out.
But now, it was far too late.
He didn't have time to keep kicking himself over everything he didn't do. He didn't have time to sit and wonder what he could have been. He knew that now. He could spend a billion hours wishing and wanting, but nothing would change if he did.
He needed to act now. He needed to take control over his life, even if it was about to end. He needed to make the most of these next few days. He needed to try to make it worth it. There was no way he was going to die without making a mark on himself. He wasn't going to waste it all again.
"I have to find Luigi," he whispered to himself, grasping onto the tree behind him and hoisting himself up. He took a few deep breaths, slightly saddened by the fact that he was out of breath just after standing up, but he didn't have time to feel bad about that.
He missed how he used to be able to walk without any struggle. He remembered when he first arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom walking and walking to avoid Luigi. It hurt knowing he couldn't walk like that anymore. He could barely even get up and down the stairs. He wished the guest bedroom he was staying in was on the first floor, as it would make hiding his condition so much easier. Dimentio was running out of excuses as to why he kept falling down the stairs.
He then began walking, stopping every fifteen steps or so to catch his breath. He didn't sit down, knowing that it would take twice the energy to get back up. It was easier to just lean against a tree for support. He felt like the walk back was twice as long as the walk out, but that may have just been because the night was beginning to come and he was getting tired. He had been sleeping a lot more, lately.
He didn't like that. He didn't want to waste any more time sleeping when he could instead be spending his time living. He would have plenty of time to rest later, but now he needed to stay awake and alert. He needed to make the most out of these last few days.
Once he finally got back to the house, he knocked, noting how bad it hurt his fist. Even his bones felt weak. He was worried that the sound was too soft for anyone to hear, but to his relief, Luigi opened the door a moment later.
"Dimentio?" Luigi asked, frowning at how visibly exhausted Dimentio was. "Are you alright? You look exhausted. Come inside, let's get you to bed-"
"Nope," Dimentio interrupted, grabbing Luigi's arm and weakly trying to pull the man in green outside. "I don't want to go to sleep."
Luigi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not being phased by Dimentio's weak attempts to pull him outside. He instead just stepped out, grabbing Dimentio's shoulder and taking a closer look at Dimentio's face. "There are bags under your eyes, and you're pale. I think you need rest-"
"What I need is a breath of fresh air," Dimentio corrected, getting behind Luigi and trying to push him out to the forest. "I wanna go see the waterfall thing you showed me. Hurry, the sun's starting to set and I wanna be there when dusk arrives."
"The waterfall? Are you sure? It's a long walk, and you're tired. Maybe I can take you there tomorrow-"
"Nope. We're going today. Right now." Dimentio told him. "... Please?"
"Whoa, you're saying please? That's new," Luigi lightly chuckled.
"Yes, I'm saying please. Can we please go? You're wasting time, and I don't want to do that anymore."
"Alright, alright," Luigi breathed, finally stepping in the direction Dimentio was weakly pushing him in. "I'm going. But only because you asked so nicely."
Dimentio let out a sigh of relief then stopped pushing, slowly walking behind Luigi and brushing his hands through his own hair. There was a little sweat on his forehead from all the pushing. It was sad to say that it cost him a lot of energy.
"Thank you," Dimentio breathed.
Luigi smiled and raised an eyebrow.
"That's new too."
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