"I'm so happy we're on the same page again, babe," Jesse told me as he stroked my hand.

We were in his car, driving to school. I felt like a fish in an aquarium, swimming around and around the tank I'd never be able to escape. Once I saw that video, I knew it was over. Jesse did too, which was probably why he was acting the way he was acting. He was smiling, holding my hand, complimenting me. He refused to leave my house last night, and I had to push myself as far away from him as possible in my tiny bed. I barely slept a wink.

"Yeah," I muttered, not bothering to try and pull my hand away. There was no point now, was there? Jesse had me, and he had me good. All it would take was that video falling into the police's hands, and it's goodbye life, hello jail.

"But, let me make this clear, Lilly. If you come home wearing another guy's clothes again, you're going to need a lot more than makeup to hide what I'll do to you," Jesse said, but the tone of his voice sounded like he was asking me how my day went, not threatening me with violence.

"I said I was sorry," I told him. I had, over and over again. I didn't know what I meant by it. A part of me was sorry that I had slept with Roman, because things would be so much simpler if I hadn't. But, I knew I wasn't really sorry. The night we had spent together was perfect, and I wished for a thousand nights exactly like that one.

But, it would never happen. I realized that now.

"I know you're sorry, babe. With that freak out of our lives, you'll remember who you really want to be with," Jesse told me as he squeezed my hand.

"Okay," I mumbled, not bothering to fight it anymore. I had no more fight left.

Things were different this morning as Jesse and I walked into the school. We did everything the same, Jesse's arm was wrapped around my neck in a way that made me anxious. His arm was like a chain made of thick metal, trapping me to him. He nodded his head in greeting to everyone he walked by, his cheesy smile on his face. He oozed confidence like he always did, his eyes twinkling like he had nothing to hide.

Yet, people didn't watch us as they usually did- with a glance of reverence, and a hint of jealousy. No, today they watched us with curiosity and judgement. Obviously it was due to Jesse's behaviour at the party this weekend. His bruised face as a reminder to everyone. Not only did they see him be laid out by Roman, they saw a glimpse of the person behind his mask, and I think they realized it wasn't as handsome as he seems to be.

I kept my eyes straight ahead, through what I really wanted to do was run and hide somewhere quiet. I wanted to be alone to sift through my thoughts. To sift through my regrets.

We stopped at my locker, Jesse not removing his grip around my neck as I struggled to operate the combination lock. I could hear Jesse's voice in my ear, talking to someone down the hall. I didn't care to understand what he was saying, I didn't care about anything right now. At all.

Yet, I breathed a sigh of relief when he let go of me finally, muttering something to me before he left to go speak to whomever caught his eye. My muscles relaxed once he was away from me, and I felt like I took the first breath I had taken since I was in Roman's apartment. I closed my eyes as my body processed the oxygen, and I was just about to open them when I felt someone beside me.

"So... you're still with him?" The voice asked me, and I didn't have to wonder who it was. I knew that voice by now.

I opened my eyes in panic, though I barely looked at Roman before scanning the hallway for Jesse. I breathed a sigh of relief when I couldn't see him, and turned back to my locker.

"You can't be here right now, Roman." I muttered, praying that he would understand and leave. The last thing I needed was a repeat of this weekend.

"Why not, Lilac? What are you scared of?" Roman asked me, though we both knew the answer. "You're scared of him. I know you are, but you don't have to be anymore. I can help you, let me help you."

"You can't. You can't, Roman. Please, you can't be here." I begged him, my voice a whisper. I looked at him, hoping he would see how serious I was.

Roman looked back at me, a couple of seconds went by and we just stared into each other's eyes. I knew he was trying to read me, to understand. But, he never would, not unless the whole story came out.

"But that's the thing, Lilac. I am here. I'm right here and I'm ready to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I'm the one who's not going to yell at you, or make you cry. I'm not going to talk to you like you're garbage, or insult you. I'd never put my hands on you, I'd rather die first." Roman's voice was raised, and I sighed as I realized people would over hear us.

"I'm right here," he repeated. "I'm standing right here, Lilac. You know better than to stay with him. You know you shouldn't be treated like that. You know you deserve more, so what's stopping you?"

Roman placed his hands on my shoulders, almost as if he was trying to shake the truth into me.

"He doesn't deserve your love, he doesn't deserve anything about you! He doesn't deserve to look at you, he doesn't deserve to talk to you, he doesn't deserve to be with you. You know I'm right," he dropped his voice, grabbing my chin gently and tilting my face up at him. "You know that I'm right, Lilac. You don't deserve this. You have to know that I'm right."

"You're right!" I surprised us both by yelling. There was no hope now that Jesse wouldn't hear about this. People were turned towards us, tuning into the show.

"Is that what you want to hear Roman? You're right! You're right, everything you're saying is right. I shouldn't have loved him. I shouldn't be with him. You don't think I know that? You don't think I see how he is? I see how he is. Trust me, I see him better than you see him. Do you know horrible it is to stay with someone even when they hate you? It's a nightmare."

Roman looked pained at my words, he dropped his hands from my shoulders, grabbing both of my hands instead. I let him, just for a second, before I pulled them away from him.

"But you're not right about one thing, Roman. I don't deserve better. I deserve exactly what I'm getting, because I'm a bad person too."

"No, you're not, Lilac..." Roman started, but he was interrupted by a hand snaking around my waist.

"What's going on here?" Jesse asked, his voice seemed light and airy on the surface, but I heard the anger in it. My heart started pounding, wondering how much Jesse had heard.

"It's..." I let out, but I couldn't finish because Roman charged towards Jesse.

Roman stood right in front of him, so close they were almost touching. If I had thought that Jesse's eyes turned black when he was mad, it was nothing compared to the look Roman was wearing right now.

"You," Roman seethed, "you need to leave her alone."

"Me? I think you need to leave her alone. I'm her boyfriend. Who the fuck are you?"

"You know who I am," Roman told him, gesturing towards Jesse's bruised eye. "And I swear to god, that was light work compared to what I will do to you. Compared to what I need to do to you if you don't walk away from Lilac and never speak to her again."

I could tell Jesse was fighting to keep his smile on his face, and I could see the way he was shrinking back away from Roman. He was scared. Who wouldn't be? Roman had already kicked his ass once, there was no questions about if he could do it again.

"Listen, buddy, you got a cheap shot this weekend. You put hands on me again, and I promise you that you'll be in a jail cell. Don't you know who my father is?" Jesse replied.

"I don't give a fuck who you're father is, you piece of shit. I don't give a fuck what you threaten me with. Leave her alone, or I promise, you won't be able to walk again for the rest of your life, let alone be able to hit another girl again," Roman let out, causing me to close my eyes.

I could feel my body to start to shake at the panic his words caused me. Hearing them said out loud from another person in front of people, the feeling of embarrassment and guilt stabbed in my gut.

Jesse grunted as he lunged towards Roman, but he wasn't able to do anything before Mr. Hutch appeared, shouting at the two boys. I shook my head as the crowd gathered around, chanting at the two boys who looked like they were about to rip each other's throats out. I stepped back, the sounds of the hallway marbling in my head to the point I couldn't distinguish between any of them. I knew the feeling that was erupting inside me, I knew what it was and what was about to happen.

I backed away, thankful that I seemed to be lost in the shuffle. I ran towards the bathroom, only trying to keep the panic attack at bay until I was alone. I pushed open the doors to the girls bathroom, pulling sharp inhales through my nose as I tried to force air into my lungs. They didn't seem to want to cooperate, the muscles in my back straining and making it seem like my lungs had no where to expand. I sunk to the floor, feeling the coolness of the tiles against my body and I forced my head between my knees.

I was only focused on trying to breathe, but I couldn't. The feeling of being breathless causing me to only panic further.

"Lilly!" I heard someone call at the same time I heard the door open. Though I didn't know who the voice belonged to, I knew it wasn't a girl, which was surprising since I was fairly sure I was in the girls room.

"Lilly," the voice said before I heard them rushing to my side. I couldn't raise my head to look to see who it was, I couldn't barely think with the amount of panic dripping through my blood.

"It's okay, Lilly. It's okay," I felt their hands on my back, rubbing circles soothingly. "Here, here..." they handed me a plastic bag, forcing it into my hands. "Breathe into it."

I did what they said, bringing the bag into my hands and pressing the edges against my mouth. Each breath that filled the plastic bagged calmed me, until eventually I was taking steady breathes. I looked to the side, surprise taking over as I saw it was Khalil that was helping me.

"Lilly, what the fuck is going on?"