I could feel the sun creeping its way onto my skin, like a glow of happiness.

I kept my eyes closed, however, simply basking in the feeling. I was more comfortable than I usually was in the mornings, a lot more comfortable. There wasn't the acid like feeling of panic in my blood today. Instead, it was like my whole body was completely relaxed. It was heavy, in the best way. Like I was made of liquid gold.

I stretched my body, feeling the soft sheets against my skin, all of my skin. My eyes shot open quickly, and I looked down to find my body naked, prompting me to cover myself with the sheets. It was with a hurry that I glanced around the room, the events of last night coming back quickly like I had been drunk while they happened and I had to fight for the memories. I looked beside me, seeing an empty spot in the bed where Roman had slept beside me. At the thought of him, the feelings that had erupted through me last night filled me once again. And this time, I didn't panic. I didn't want to run. I knew it wasn't a mistake.

A smile found its way on my lips, deep enough I could feel it in my cheeks. Last night, it had been so perfect. It felt so right. With Roman it had been easy and effortless, like breathing or laughing. There was no awkwardness, there was no tension. There was none of the things that I felt when I was with Jesse, even in the beginning when I thought our relationship was good. But, quite simply, after experiencing last night with Roman...

Well, let's just say that Jesse didn't compare. In any way.

"I'd say good morning, but it's already the afternoon," I heard his voice say, causing my head to swivel in his direction with the smile still shining on my face.

Roman was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His chest was bare again, the ridges of the muscles I had finally been able to touch disappearing into the waistbands of his grey sweatpants. I didn't stop my eyes this time, they took their time soaking in every detail. When I finally found my way back up to his face, his eyebrows were raised, as if he was surprised about what he had found in his bed.

"You know, Lilac, I never know what to expect with you." Roman told me, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, becoming self-conscious at his words. Did I not meet his expectations for the morning after sex?

Roman dragged his eyes around my face again, before a smile formed on his own lips. I saw his tongue flash over his teeth, as if he was trying to debate what words to use. "I kind of expected a repeat of what happened when we kissed. You know, when you ran out of my apartment yelling this was a mistake at me."

I felt a blush rise on my cheek as I remembered my actions, bring the blankets up to my face as if to hide the red that was now painted on me. I heard Roman laugh, the sound was like music, and I waited until it died out before poking by head back into the air.

"I..." I started, but faltered after the single syllable. I couldn't explain my strange behaviours even if I tried.

"Lilac, I was just kidding. It's okay. I know things are messy right now," Roman told me, and he smiled again. I looked towards it, feeling a surge of happiness in my stomach that caused me to smile right back at him.

"Listen," Roman continued, his smile growing even larger. "There's food out in the kitchen. I left some clothes on the bed for you, they'll be big but it will be better than that dress you were wearing last night. Come out when you're ready, okay?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling shy as if Roman hadn't seen almost every inch of my body last night. He rolled his lips together, he seemed to be fighting a smile that wouldn't fall from his face. He looked at me for a second longer, his eyes moving around me like he was taking a picture in his mind, before he shook his head once again and closed the door.

I climbed out of the bed, clutching the sheet around me until I found the clothes he had laid out for me. I pulled the sweatpants on, rolling the waist until they stayed put on me. The shirt he left was just a plain black tee, and it swallowed me completely, but I liked it. They smelled like Roman, and the thought took me back to last night when he had been on top of me and that smell was all I could smell.

I had to give myself a shake, trying to rid myself of those thoughts before I dragged Roman back in here. Though, something told me that he might not mind if I did.

I walked into the kitchen, not knowing what to expect by Roman's interpretation of food. I was stunned, however, as my eyes met the feast of food that was displayed across the breakfast bar. There was way more than we'd ever be able to eat just the two of us. There were dishes of pasta, a pepperoni pizza, pancakes, and a bowl of salad so big it reminded me of the ones the Kardashian's eat on their show.

"Woah," I muttered, raking my eyes over it. Roman was sitting on one of the barstools, an empty plate in front of him like he had been waiting for me.

"Here, sit," he patted the stool beside him. "I ordered a bit of everything, I didn't know what kind of food you would want."

I took the seat he gestured for me to take, flashing back to the first time I ever came to his apartment. We had sat on these stools, just like we were now, yet things were so infinitely different. We were strangers then. Though, I guess we were still strangers now. Only, strangers who had sex, and he knew things about me that even my best friend didn't.

"Thanks," I told him, my body lighting up as he placed his hand on my thigh. He did it so thoughtlessly, like it just made sense.

I guess... in a way I felt like that too. Maybe we did just make sense.

I took the pancakes, as Roman took the pizza, and we ate silently for a minute. I wasn't sure what to say, and I realized this was the first amount time that we had spent together that hadn't revolved around some sort of stressful event.

"Does anyone know where you are?" Roman asked me suddenly, making me wonder what he was thinking about. "I just mean, no one is going to send out an amber alert for you when your mom realizes you didn't come home, right?"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "No, don't worry. You won't be accused of kidnapping. She thinks I'm at Clara's."

"Ah, okay," Roman nodded his head, pushing away his now empty plate. "Have you talked to her?"

"Clara? No. I'm not sure I want to. I don't want to know what else happened after we left." I told him honestly, remembering what happened last night at the party. Specifically, I was remembering the way Roman laid Jesse out on the concrete ground.

"I don't think Clara knows much either. She left with Samuel not long after we did." Roman told me, fighting a laugh like the thought was hilarious.

I felt my eyebrows shoot up in surprise, before I rolled my eyes at the thought. "Of course she did. Though, I'm a little surprised."

"That they left together?" Roman seemed confused, "I thought they got along fairly good. Well, I know they got along."

"Yeah, that's the point. Clara doesn't usually return to the same boy twice." I said, tilting my head and thinking through my words before my smile dropped. "I didn't intend for that to be mean. I love Clara for it, it's just how she is." I explained quickly.

"Don't worry, Lilac, you're fine," Roman told me, and the hand that he had placed on my thigh pulled against my leg, causing my stool to rotate until I was facing him. He moved on of his legs around mine, so I was in between his. He smiled at me again, though this time it didn't reach his eyes. Like he was nervous.

"So," Roman began, but he didn't continue. He seemed to be thinking hard about his words.

"So," I raised my eyebrows at him, urging him to continue.

Roman's face scrunched together, before he sighed. "I told myself I wasn't going to do this, but shit, Lilac, you're really unlike anyone I've ever met before. How are you feeling, you know... about everything?"

I observed the way he was nervously watching me, he was anxious to hear my answer. "About everything? That's a lot to discuss, Roman. Where did you want to start, the big bang theory? I mean, I guess if you want to know how I feel about everything, that's the beginning."

Roman looked startled, his eyes wide before he broke into a laugh. "You're in a good mood. Better than I've seen you in a long time, actually."

"Yeah, well, I haven't had a good orgasm in a long time, let alone three." I giggled out, before immediately stiffening. I didn't want to talk about Jesse at all, let alone indirectly talk about my sex life with him. I opened my mouth to correct myself, but Roman surprised me by taking both of my hands in his own.

"Don't worry about it." Roman told me, seemingly knowing exactly what I was thinking.

"What I meant to say was that last night... I really liked last night," I told him, watching as each of his thumbs stroked the skin on my hands.

"I liked it, too." Roman agreed. "I mean, how couldn't I?"

The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to process them. They slipped through my lips before I realized that I shouldn't be saying them. I shouldn't be saying them because as far as Roman knew, I already had a boyfriend. One that Roman now knew didn't act like any boyfriend was supposed to. I shouldn't be saying them because if I did, it was likely that Roman was going to fall into my pool of lies, and there's every chance he might be stuck there with me.

"I like you, Roman." I told him.