《A Way Back Home | Adopted by Gerard Way (Book Two)》Do You Ever Just Need a Hug (69)
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It's on day three of being in the hospital, when Frank and Ray have gone back home, Mikey hasn't left my side, and I haven't left Eve's, that some things finally change.
It's not that Eve opens her eyes. She hasn't flinched at all, not so much as a squeeze of my hand. It's something that I should've seen coming and that I can't believe didn't cross my mind before my new phone started ringing. I gave Mikey the money to go buy me a new one that hasn't been shattered against a wall. I told him anything would do as long as I had some way to contact Lindsey.
I pick it up. "Hello?"
"Hey, Gerard, it's Emerald. I got your new number from Mikey."
Immediately, my eyes go wide, to which Mikey gives me a questioning look. I pull my phone away from my face and whisper, "It's Emerald."
His eyes widen too. "Oh shit," he says. "I forgot I gave her your number... you have to tell her, Gee."
I take a deep breath, knowing he's right, and put the phone back up to my ear when I hear Emerald say my name again. "Hi, Em," I say.
"Um, I was just wondering if you've talked to Eve in the last few days? She's not responding. Did she get a new number too, or something, and then forgot to tell me?"
"Um, Eve is—" I let out a shaky breath, "Is your mom around?"
"Yeah she's— wait why?"
"Can I talk to her? It's about..." I trail off, not wanting to lie to the kid. "Can I just talk to her?"
"Um, I guess so," Em says, trying to suppress her worry, but it's clear in her voice.
A few seconds later, after a muffled, it's Eve's dad, she's handed over the phone and her mom's familiar warm voice meets my ear. "Hello, Gerard, is everything okay?"
"No, um, could you go in another room? Make sure Emerald doesn't hear this yet?"
"Yeah, of 'course, just a second." I hear some shuffling, then she pipes up again nervously, "Okay, what's going on?"
Don't start crying, don't start crying, don't start— My voice breaks, "Evelyn, um, she got in an accident. I- I don't know how to tell Emerald." I feel Mikey put a comforting hand on my shoulder and I send him a quick half smile.
She inhales sharply. "Oh my God, is she—"
"She's in a coma... We don't know when she'll wake up."
Jane gasps. Neither of say anything for a long time. We're thinking about our kids. About how much they rely on each other, how much it would break them to lose each other, and about how much we rely on them sometimes.
Finally, she says, "I'll sit down with Em."
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"Thank you so much," I breathe.
"No need to thank me, Gerard. You just hang in there, okay? Evelyn is a strong kid, she'll pull through."
• • •
The second thing that changes today happens a couple hours later.
Mikey and I look up, bleary eyed after barely having slept for the past three days, when we hear a light knock on the door. A nurse pushes her way into Eve's room and says. "Mr. Way? Evelyn has a visitor."
Next thing we know, Laura Barry is standing in the middle of the room, a hand over her mouth as she looks at Eve lying peacefully in the bed. The woman is at a loss for words as she fights back tears.
I don't know if Mikey suddenly has some place to be, he doesn't want to get involved, or that he simply wants her out of his sight, but he stands and gives her a nod before leaving the room, shutting me in there with her.
I look between her and Eve. I see the similarities in their eyes, their natural hair colour, even their height.
It reminds me that even though she put Eve through Hell, and that she's the one who gave her up in the first place, she's still her mother whether we like it or not. She's still a human with feelings and regrets and she's looking at her daughter whom she's put effort into protecting during the last three months, feeling the heartbreak that only a parent can feel.
Finally, she crumbles, folding in on herself with a heart wrenching sob. We're no longer rivals in a court case. We're just two parents looking at a girl, ghostly pale skinned, bruises and cleaned off scrapes, bandaged limbs, and a peaceful expression on her face as she's oblivious to all of it. And for once we both want the same thing; we just desperately want her to wake up.
I get up to comfort her, because how could I watch a woman break piece by piece and not try and help her? Even though I'm barely keeping it together myself.
I wrap my arms around her and she hugs me back like someone who hasn't been hugged in a very long time.
"I-I only found out th-this morning..." she sobs into my shoulder.
A wave a guilt instantly hits me in the chest to the point of feeling sick to my stomach. How would I feel if someone just "forgot" to mention something terrible had happened to Eve? I'd be breaking down on the hospital room floor too.
"I'm so sorry," I say, even though my apology probably means nothing.
"It's my fault," she says. "She was trying to get away from me."
I tell her the same thing I told Raven and Ryder, the same thing Frank told them too when he let go of his grudge and started talking to them and keeping them company until he left, quickly learning that they're great friends for Eve. "You couldn't control it, so don't blame yourself. Eve was probably planning this for a long time anyway, it seems like something she'd do."
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Laura let's go and wipes the tears from her face with her hands, smudging her eye makeup across her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she says.
"You don't have to apologize."
"That's not true. I have so much to apologize for. And I know at this point it probably means nothing, and I've told Evelyn this too, but I think you need to hear it from me: I'm so, so sorry for everything I put her through. I regret all of it and if I could take back my actions I would, even if that means I might've never got to see her again. I just want her to be happy."
I glance at Eve, "We all do."
"Mind if I sit?" Laura asks, gesturing to the chair next to the bed.
"No, go ahead," I tell her.
She sits carefully, like she's afraid any movement near Eve might break her even further, and takes her hand. Tears steadily drip from her eyes, and I turn away, feeling like I'm witnessing something I shouldn't. I find myself on the other side of the room— which isn't very far as it's a small room— gazing out the window as I mull over her words.
Lindsey and I got a new lawyer, have been working on strengthening our case for when we request a modification to the custody ruling. I wonder if this time Laura will put up a fight to keep Eve? It's probably wishful thinking, but if all she wants really is for Eve to be happy, she might agree to giving us more custody over her.
But she keeps surprising us. Requesting custody out of the blue in the first place, not being the horrible parent we expected of her over these last few months... maybe my thinking is all wrong. Maybe her next fight she puts up will be even harder for us to beat than the last.
"Gerard?" she asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah?" I say back, turning around to see her running gentle fingers up and down Eve's forearm. "I knew about this," she says.
I blink. "Did she tell you?" I ask, having a hard time believing Eve would ever open up that much to Laura, especially considering she didn't even open u that much to me. But maybe I really do have this situation all wrong, in which case a burning jealousy I wish wasn't there begins to rise.
"No, no," Laura says, and just as quickly as it appeared, the fire in my stomach fizzles out. "She just... she was always wearing that hoodie, even in the sweltering heat, always tugging on her sleeves. It didn't take much to figure it out."
And you didn't do anything about it? I feel like asking incredulously, but I don't. I hold my tongue, because how could I say anything? She was a step ahead of me when I didn't notice a thing until it was displayed clearly in front of me.
"I, uh, I knew about it too. She was doing really well recently," I decide on saying.
Laura goes on, "I just didn't know how to bring it up, and when I tried it was a disaster. Every time I'd try and get Evelyn to open up, she'd completely shut it down, get defensive, or get nervous and panicky which was worse. I didn't want to make her panic, but of course I know that's my fault too."
"If it makes you feel any better, she didn't open up to me about it either. I found out kind of by accident."
I sit down in the only other chair in the room— the one Mikey usually sits in, but who knows where he ran off to by now? It's obvious that Laura hasn't had anyone to open up to like this in a long time, so I let her talk as much as she wants. Eventually, she opens her purse and pulls out a slightly crumpled piece of paper covered in writing. I recognize the handwriting immediately as Eve's.
"She left this on my bed before she and her friends left. I found it that night," Laura says. She scans her eyes over the words briefly, then says, "She opened up more with one letter than she did the entire time she's been living with me."
"What did she write?" I ask hesitantly, then add quickly, "If you don't mind."
"A lot of things I really needed to hear," she puts simply.
The conversation ends up lasting until late in the evening, when Mikey comes back, obviously not expecting she'd still be here, and much less expecting that we'd be having a friendly chat. I never thought I'd say this about Laura Barry, but it was actually kind of nice to talk to her. I know that maybe she wasn't the best to Eve before— let's face it, she was the fucking worst— but at least my daughter hasn't been in terrible hands the last few months.
I hug her quickly before she leaves. She said she got a hotel room not far from the hospital. As soon as she's out of earshot, far down the hall of the ICU and out of sight, Mikey says with a slightly disgusted look on his face, "You two are friends now or something?"
"No," I say, "but she really needed a hug."
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