When Mikey and I speed walk into the hospital around 2AM, we're directed to the ICU. I use Mikey's phone to let Lindsey know we're here, and promise to update her whenever I can. Ray walks in twenty minutes later to find us sitting in the corner of a waiting room in those fucking plastic chairs. He joins us in silence, and so does Frank a few minutes later.

It's tense, to say the least. And no one feels like talking.

I tried to get information from any nurse or doctor who walked by, so many times that I think they started avoiding our corner, not wanting to say, "I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any information on Ms. Way's condition yet," anymore.

Minutes go by like hours. The other guys slowly fall asleep, even on the uncomfortable chairs, through the sounds of people walking up and down the halls, beeping and whirring of machines, crying. I won't fall asleep. There's no way I could. I'll sit here awake for hours if it means I get to see Eve as soon as possible.

"Mr. Way?" I look up at the source of the voice to see a doctor with a sad smile holding a clipboard close to her chest.

At the sight of the expression on her face, my stomach drops and my knees tremble as I stand up from the chair, expecting the worst. Expecting my world to collapse, never to be rebuilt the same again at just a few words. "Is Eve..?" I ask hesitantly, trailing off.

She glances at the others, with heads nodded against theirs chests and lightly snoring, then says, "Come with me."

I trail behind her through the ICU, waiting for her to say something. She should be used to delivering this kind of news by now, so what is she waiting for? I bet she doesn't want to tell me, she doesn't think I'll be able to take it. Oh my God, Evie's d—

"This is her room, Mr. Way," the doctor says, stopping outside a room nearing the end of the hall. "You can go in and see her, hold her hand, talk to her, but she's unresponsive."

"You mean she's..."

"She's in a coma," the doctor nods sadly. "I'll give you some time."

I purse my lips to keep from crying in the hall in front of people, and the doctor lets me go into the room alone. It's when I finally see Eve, tubes and wires, pale skin under the artificial lights, and sit down in the chair next to her bed and take her hand, that I finally let the tears spill.

I kiss the back of her hand, unable to get any words out, but hoping that somehow she knows I'm here and that I don't plan on moving until she wakes up.

• • •

Eventually, it becomes clear I have to leave the room. When the sun comes up, I can barely keep my eyes open, and I'm desperate for a coffee and a smoke since I'm refusing to go to sleep.

The guys assure me that they won't leave Eve's side, so I kiss her forehead delicately before going down to the cafeteria for a shitty cup of watered down coffee, then leave through the side door. As soon as I step outside I'm greeted with air that smells like stale cigarettes, like I'm not the only one who's taken refuge back here. The smell is still better than the sterile hospital. Those latex gloves and the sanitizers that could give anyone a headache after just a while of sitting in there.

I light a smoke and focus on the shadows being casted on the side of the building by the golden morning sun, breathing in the nicotine that is nowhere near strong enough to take this pain away.

Back inside, I have one last thing I want to do before I go back to Eve's room. I track down a nurse I recognize in the hallway and walk up to him, one of my most pressing questions spilling out as soon as he sees me coming. "The news said that the collision was fatal," I start slowly. "Are, uh, Eve's friends..."

He steps closer to me. "I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you this for confidentiality reasons," he says quietly, and before I can tell him I'm sorry for bothering him and walk away, he adds, "but the victim was in the other car. The kids are all alive."

I put a hand over my heart, feeling indescribable relief flow through my veins. "Thank God," I say under my breath.

Before I walk away, he says, "Two of them are awake, actually."

A glimmer of hope that Eve might wake up soon too swells in my chest and I immediately go tell the guys. "Should I go meet them?" I ask them.

Frank stands up off the floor from where he'd been sitting against the wall texting Jamia. "I'll go with you," he says, pocketing his phone.

We let the nurse lead us to one of Eve's friend's rooms. Mikey stays in my usual place in the chair next to Eve's bed and holds her hand. Ray follows too, probably to give him time alone with her.

We stop a few rooms down the hall and the nurse lets us in. I don't recognize the kid in the bed— short bleach blond hair and a lip ring— and not only because he's pretty banged up.

"Ryder? You have visitors," the nurse tells him before leaving the room and closing the door gently.

Ryder furrows his eyebrows as we stand awkwardly across his room. He takes us all in with serious eyes like he's trying to recognize us, but doesn't say anything.

I decide to speak first. "Hey, Ryder," I say gently.

"You're Gerard... you're Eve's dad," he guesses, wincing as he sits up slowly.

I nod, then step aside to introduce the other two. "And this is Ray—" Ray gives him a nod and they smile at each other, "—and this is Frank."

I notice Ryder's eyes light up a bit at the mention of Frank's name. "Way—I mean, Eve's told me a lot about you guys," he says, then turns his gaze to Frank. "She, uh, told me you'd punch a homophobe if a situation called for it."

Frank chuckles lightly. "Fuck yeah," he says.

Ryder then asks hesitantly, "Um, how is she by the way?"

I look down at the floor, clear my throat before saying painfully slowly, "Well, she's in a coma. We're not really sure when she'll wake up."

Ryder drops his gaze down to the scratchy hospital bedsheets. "Oh."

"But she's strong, she's gotten through shit before," I add quickly, as much of a reassurance for myself as it is for him, "she can get through this too."

He nods without looking up, then says quietly, "She's so lucky to have you guys."

"Hey, she's so lucky to have you too," Ray pipes up. "We were so glad when she said she made a friend. You seem like a great kid, Ryder."

"Thanks, but it's not just me, there's Raven too. And Krash."

"Raven and Krash?" Frank asks.

"Oh shit, I wasn't supposed to say that," I hear Ryder say under his breath. Luckily Frank didn't hear him, he just says, genuinely but hurriedly, "Nice meeting you, Kid," and leaves the room. Ray send us an apologetic look then follows him out into the hall.

"What just happened?"

"The kids Eve used to go into the woods with," Ryder explains.

It all comes rushing back to me now.

"Oh," I say. "Right."

"Look, um," Ryder takes a deep breath, "we really fucked up, so if you want to be mad at anyone, be mad at me. I was the most enthusiastic about the whole plan, and I shouldn't have been 'cause I knew it was wrong. We just didn't think... we didn't think something like this would ever happen," he says then take a pause and ends by saying, "I'm so sorry, Gerard."

I sit carefully on the end of his bed. "Please don't blame yourself for what happened, Ryder," I tell him. "I know it's not that simple, but it's really not your fault. You couldn't control any of it."

"I guess so," he breathes, obviously not believing a word I'm saying. "I'm still sorry though."

"Do you mind telling me how you guys even ended up there? What was your plan?"

"We we're bringing Eve over for the fourth of July as a surprise. Laura didn't even know 'cause we told her we were going camping..." he sighs, "It sounds stupid when I say it out loud. Eve was just so, so desperate to find a way back home, we couldn't just do nothing."

"You guys had good intentions," I say. "I really wish it could've worked out."

"Me too," he says so quietly I might've just read his lips. "Do you know know how the others are?"

"Well, a nurse told me two of you are awake, but I'm sorry, I don't know if it's Raven or Krash."

"Could you go check?" he asks hopefully.

"Of course," I say, but he looks so miserable I don't want to leave him alone just yet. It's like it's obvious that he's usually happy and outgoing, but unsurprisingly has completely lost his spark. "Ryder, has anyone contacted your family for you?"

His breath hitches, then he shakes his head lightly. "No."

"Do you... have anyone?" I ask carefully.

When he shakes his head again and tells me, "I got kicked out," the knife in my heart is wrenched in just a little further.

"You don't have to get into it," I say, but he's already started.

"I got home from school one day and my parents were standing in the kitchen holding my diary. I know it was stupid of me to keep a diary, but I didn't think they'd ever go through my stuff and find it. But they did, they found out everything, about how I had this crush on guy and I wrote about him a bunch... There wasn't even a fight, my dad just told me to pack up my stuff and get out or he'd do it for me, so I did."

I shake my head. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, Ryder. It's their problem, you know? It's not your fault, they're the ones who should be accepting of you."

"Yeah, it fucking is their problem."

I chuckle lightly to unsuccessfully diffuse some tension. "If you don't mind me asking, where'd you go after that?"

"I was in an alley for... a while... and then Raven found me. I literally owe them my life," he confesses.

"I'll go see if they're awake," I say, giving him a quick sympathetic smile before I go.

Next thing I know I'm being let into Raven's room by the same nurse as before.

As soon as they lay their eyes on me they exclaim, even though they're obviously tired and in pain, "Oh my God, Gerard, I'm so sorry. We just wanted Eve to see you and be happy for a couple days. I shouldn't have let this happen. Is she okay?"

"Wait, Raven, don't blame yourself, okay? It's not—"

"How could it not be my fault? I'm the one who planned the whole thing and roped Krash into being the driver."

"You guys had good intentions, and you couldn't control what ended up happening. It's not your fault, okay?"

Raven bites their lip and thinks for a few seconds before finally saying quietly, "Okay."

"So," I draw out, "to answer your question... about Eve... Raven, she's in a coma."

Raven's eyes immediately well with tears, they slap a hand over their mouth and say through their fingers shakily, "Gerard, I'm so sorry."

I go to their bedside and hug them gently, assuring them again that it's not their fault. They pull themselves together quickly, almost like they hadn't been crying seconds prior, like they're not speaking and sitting up through sore ribs and bruises covering every inch of their body, and clear their throat weakly after I've let go.

"Look, um, I guess I should tell you, Krash isn't awake either," I say, hoping they don't break down again, but ready to wrap my arms around them again if they need it. I won't tell them exactly what the nurse told me about Krash's condition, though. I can't bring myself to say to a kid's face that he's in a worse state than Eve is.

Raven inhales a lungful of air, then exhales slowly, and finally says, "Okay, um, what about Ryder?"

"He's awake."

"He is!?" they ask excitedly, wincing when they suddenly sit up straighter.

"He is," I confirm. "I was just talking to him. He's doing okay, I guess."

"That's a fucking relief."

"I just wish he, you know, had some family to come see him."

Raven nods in agreement. "I'm getting out of this bed as soon as possible and going to see him. Or the other way around. Whichever of us can bare the pain of standing up first."

"Take it easy alright?" I say. Raven nods again, but it probably means nothing. "Are your parents able to come?"

"Yeah, they should be here soon."

"Alright, I'm gonna go tell Ryder you're doing alright, then go back to Eve's room, is that okay?"

"Yeah, fine. I just have one question... are the other guys around? You know, Mikey, Frank, Ray?"

"Frank might have a bit of a grudge against whatever happened before, but I'll try and knock some sense into him. I'm sure they'd all love to meet you."

Raven smiles, and I smile back, then go do exactly what I told them I'd be doing. The only detail I missed was the part I kick everyone else out of Eve's room so that they don't have to see me cry as I hold her hand. I might be acting strong around them, especially the kids, but inside I'm breaking, I'm unsure, I'm exhausted, and I'm just really fucking sad.