"You're sure you want to do this?" Emerald asks for what feels to be the billionth time.

"Yes, Em!" I insist, exasperated as I grip her hand and drag her into the hair salon. "You have no idea how sure I am."

"Wait." Em stops in her tracks, her shoes squeaking on the tile floor, and I'm forced to halt. She puts her hands on my shoulders. "Just... explain to me again what we're doing here and why?"

I sigh. "Look, if my mother really wants me back, she'll have to take me however I come. Maybe if she thinks I'm a rebellious teen she won't want to deal with me and let Gerard keep me."

"So you're dyeing your hair bright red?"

"That is correct."

"Do you really think that'll work?" Em asks, her eyes full of apprehension. She chews her bottom lip nervously.

I hesitate, pretend to mull it over a few moments, then shrug. "I don't care at this point, Em, I'm desperate now that I single handedly ruined my case..."

"How many times do I have to tell you, you did nothing of the sort?"

I told Em over lunch about everything that went down with the cops, and me almost running away, and Ray finding me, and me having a breakdown, and... She was supportive as always, and even apologized for not checking in on me after therapy. Turns out she'd left her phone at school. I considered teasing her about it, but thought better when I remembered all the times I've left my phone in stupid places.

Not to mention all the times I've frantically searched for it while holding it in my hand.

"Whatever," I say with a shake of my head. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Just then, we hear a perky voice from somewhere behind. "Hi, girls, how can I help you?"

I whip around to see the woman standing behind the counter smiling widely at us with perfectly straight, white teeth. I already wouldn't trust her hair in my hands. Perfect.

Even though I know exactly what I want, I still stutter. "Um, I-I—"

"Can she get her hair dyed? Or did we have to make an appointment?" Emerald interjects, saving my ass as she's done countless times.

"Someone actually just called to cancel, so I can take you right now!"

Thanks to that fictionally convenient stroke of something-that-resembles-luck-because-I-still-won't-believe-it-exists, when I next step out of the salon, my hair is firetruck red.

I admired myself in a shop window for a few too many minutes, this time Em being the one trying to tug me away. With a satisfied nod at my reflection, I decide that I like my new look a lot more than I thought I would, but it's not complete yet.

"What do you think, Em?" I ask. We swing our hands as we walk through the mall toward our next stop, long since having stopped caring about the looks people might give two girls holding hands.

"Ketchup," she mumbles, holding back a grin.

"What was that?"

"Kidding! I'm kidding! You look hot."

I roll my eyes. "Thanks. But it's really not going with my galaxy hoodie, too much is going on. I've never been this colourful."

She assures me that black and white isn't the only aesthetic I can pull off just as we walk into a place her sister told us about that does piercings. The guy that greets us has tattoos adorning every inch of visible skin and about a dozen piercings spanning across his face and ears. I, on the other hand, have one in my nose by the time 5PM rolls around. The agreed upon time that I told Frank he could pick us up at the front of the mall. This was on purpose, of course. I decided it'd be safer if he saw me before Gerard gets to lay his eyes on my partially-mental-breakdown-inspired makeover.

Gripping Em's hand tightly as we approach the car, I let her walk in front of me.

"Are you nervous, Evie?" she asks me. I hum in reply, glad that Frank hasn't yet looked up from his phone through the windshield. "You know Frank's not gonna give a shit."

"I know, it's just—" I cut myself off when he snaps his head up like he could sense us approaching. His eyes widen briefly, but then a grin spreads across his face. Though I can't hear him from outside, I'm fairly sure my lip-reading skills are sharp enough to understand the words "holy shit" leave his mouth.

The nervousness pumping through my veins and the angry butterflies I hadn't even acknowledged in the pit of my stomach lift and Em and I run the rest of the way to the car.

"You dyed your hair and got a nose ring and you didn't invite me!?" Frank exclaims, whipping around to face us as soon as we hop into the backseat.

"I had to keep it a secret or someone might've talked me out of it!"

"C'mon, who do you think I am?"

"I know, Frankie, I know! But what do you think?" I run my fingers through my newly-coloured hair proudly.

"I think she looks hot," Em chimes in with an arm around my shoulders. I roll my eyes at her fondly, almost as though we have the "old married couple" act down already.

"You look rad as hell, Eve! What made you wanna do that?"

I shrug and buckle my seat belt. "Just felt like a change, I guess." Em buckles herself in, too, knowing not to divulge my plans, but the beginning of a knowing smirk only I could recognize is on her face.

On the way, we sing along to the likes of the Ramones and the Misfits, and whatever else Frank has in his car. If it weren't for the rain that started falling about halfway through the drive, we'd have the windows rolled down. I feel like a new person. I feel alive and I'm grateful for it for the first time in a long time, the scars and even the freshest cuts that litter my skin, momentarily forgotten. The date that's now less than two weeks away, an afterthought instead of being at the very forefront of my mind.

My fingers stay tightly laced with Em's until she reluctantly gets out of the car when Frank stops outside her house. Before she goes, though, she gives me a small smile. "I'm glad we could hang out today, Evie." Then she kisses me on the lips, leaving me with rosy cheeks to match my hair.

I suppress a smile as I clobber into the passenger seat without bothering to get out of the vehicle first. I'd already braced myself for Frank's teasing, but to my surprise, it never comes. Instead, he leans over and hugs me.

"I haven't seen you so happy in a while," he says.

We pull away, and my gaze lowers to my hands in my lap. "I guess I just needed to be distracted from everything." My sleeve-tugging is completely subconscious at this point and I'm pretty powerless to stop it.

"Your dad will be happy to see you smilin', too."

"Yeah."

Obviously, they talk about me when I'm not around. I'm not as slick as I think I am. Like, sure, the guys and Lindsey don't know the extent of my depression, but the old Evie is obviously not around and she hasn't been for several weeks. The one who was carefree and who played music all the time and got perfect grades, and who got up on weekends and made pancakes with Gerard.

"Hey!" Ray says, his face lighting up when he sees that it's Frank and I walking into the studio. "How was your date with— holy shit, Eve!"

"Oh my god!" Mikey exclaims from behind him.

I stifle a laugh. "I was great!" Stepping past the pair, I leave them with their jaws hanging open.

Every surface in the studio is covered in papers with scrawled-on lyrics and empty soda cans and water bottles. Gerard is on the old sofa, hunched over a notebook. He's so concentrated that he didn't hear us come in and jumps when I collapse onto the seat next to him.

"Hey, Dad! Whatcha writing?" I lean over and squint my eyes at his messy handwriting in the low light of the studio. I read, mouthing the words, The only hope for me is you.

He quickly covers the paper with his arm. "Hey, Evie, how was your— woah, what the fuck?"

I stand up off the couch as quickly as I sat down, backing into the other three guys. Mikey and Ray have by now snapped out of their stupors. "Wh-what do you think?"

"Did Frankie let you do that?" he asks, standing up in turn and pointing at him.

"No, me and Em went to the mall and I got it all done." Behind me, I grip Mikey's arm, feeling like I'm about to cry. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Eve you look badass as hell! You thought I was mad?" Although he's obviously tired from long hours, he smiles and I immediately calm down and let go of Mikey's arm. "I really like the red!" He runs his hands through his own black hair.

"You're hard to read sometimes!" I defend. "But thanks, I also think I look badass as hell."

Frank chuckles, "And, Gee, she obviously doesn't have your fear of needles!"

"Yeah." He nods. "Just don't go tattooing yourself all of a sudden!" He says going into Dad Mode.

"Don't tempt me," I joke. Gee doesn't think it's very funny.

I stick around the studio until he takes me home for supper, needing to go back after. I hang out with Lindsey for a while, but ultimately, I find myself too tired to even hold a conversation. I say goodnight and head up to my room before it even hits 8PM.