Even if this is supposed to be a fluff chapter there will be some angsty themes

Paintbrushes POV

I was told as a kid that Jesus' tears ran through my veins. I was told God was a part of me. Everything I did God saw. Everything I thought God knew. There were no secrets kept from the lord, there was nothing he didn't know. When you did something that he didn't approve of then you had to face the consequences and you were supposed to learn. I'm not sure what a bench was supposed to teach me but it was supposed to be something... I think... "Ah miss brush what seems to be the.. issue" pastor Gerald, vice president of the church and top pastor "What seems to be the issue now" he said to my mother. She pushed me forward twords the pastor, the way his eye wrinkles folded and how big his nose was just gave me chills. "Go on" she said "You were so confident talking back to me, tell him what you did" I felt a tear slip down my face, she just lifted an eyebrow questioningly "Paintbush" pastor Gerald said "What did you do" I wiped my runny nose on my sleeve "I- i..." a felt a lump start to form in my throat "I questioned the lord and the way he created my" I said "Oh dont sugar coat it tell him the shit that you've been doing" my mother said impatiently "I... I told myself i was non binary. Ive been wearing a binder and stopped caring about being 'lady like' " my mother scoffed "And that you were a fucking fag oh and this" my mother yanked my hood off to reveal my messy chopped hair "Fucking ungratful basterd cut off all her hair" she spat "Gosh paintbrush. Come along." The pastor said pulling me along. I knew where we were going. I had been the 'podium' of shame many times before. It sucked but it was better than being slapped until I confessed all my sins, they learned quickly that I knew I couldn't hide anything, especially from the lord. I wish I didn't do the things I did. I didn't want to cut all my hair off I didn't even look good and I didn't want to be non binary I just was! The pastor sat down on the bench and got on me knees infront of him. I put his hands round mine and I leaned my forehead in our hands, I could hear the soft mumbles of his prayers. His breath smelt like tobacco and liquor his hands smelt like shit. After a while me knees were sore and I had recited just about all the prayers I knew but pastor Gerald just kept praying. I felt waves of relief wash over me when he finally said 'amen' "Now sit her here until you see fit" pastor said and my mother nodded. When he was out of ear shot my mother grabbed what remained of my hair and yanked my face close to hers "Now listen here you little shit you aren't coming home until you get on your hands and knees and beg for it" I will im going to! But... I didn't I just sat in place and looked deep into her eyes, her breath smelt like cigars and cheap liquor, her forehead was greasy and her eyes were almost blood shot, her makeup was messy and her hair was unkempt. She was a mess an yet I still felt like the horrid disgusting person in that situation. She scoffed and rolled her eyes before letting go of my hair and walking off. I placed a hand where she gripped hair and was about to cry when someone else beat me to it. I hadn't noticed but another pastor had just finished praying with another person, when he left I guess they couldn't hold it anymore. I felt a twinge of guilt in my stomach. "Hey..." the person looked up at me, I scoot closer to them "S-sorry" they sniffled and I felt bad "No need to be sorry... 'are you okay' isnt what you want to hear, huh?" I felt myself smile at them "No, not really... I feel compelled to say im fine even though im not... that's kinda obvious though, isn't it?" The person put her hands on her knees "First time?" "Just mived in a week ago" she replied "I come here alot, its nit that bad. More annoying than anything" The stranger weakly held up their hand "Test tube" I shook her hand "Paintbrush" "Why are you here?" She said taking her hand back "Take a lucky guess" I said running my hands through my messy hair, it earned a giggle from test tube "You?" I offered back. Test tube stayed quite, soon she started to cry again "Oh! Sorey sorry i-i didnt mean to intrude or-" Test tube cut me off "No... Its fine i just" she sniffled and shived some of her hair behind her ear "I... I dint really belive in jesus... I got mad and tore up a bible and well... now im here" she admitted "Well niw i feel bad for sorta lying now" I said rubbing my neck, tested peeked up. Suddenly some old lady walked up to me "Aww look at what you've done! Are still caught up in this boy stuff?" She said turning my head back and fourth "Its not boy stuff..." Test tube raised her eyebrows "You see this is what the internet does to children come now say a prayer with me" Here we go again. And that's how I spent the next few hours

"They will ask you what you did to come here"

It's nice...

"They'll say a few prayers, honestly the worst part is smelling theor hands. They are all addicted to something or another."

To know...

"The whispers are the worst... But those people dont care. They fuel off of hatred and judgement. 'Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged', Matthew 7:1-2 'Do Not Judge'. They will try to make you feel bad for doing something frowned upon in the bible yet they do it themselves. They are just as wrong as you"

Someone feels the same...

"When will you go home? How long is 'however you see fit'?" "Whenever tour parents come to ask if your done. That means they are done, it makes them less cross when you leave then"

Someone cares...

"See? With just a bit of acting you can make anything reality." "You learned your lesson yet, brat?" Getting on my knees with my hands clenched together "Please, im sorry! I didnt mean it, i wont do it again! You werw right i am selfish, I realize that now. Just please take me home!" Tears... Tears cover up the seams... seals the deal

There is light. Just open your eyes and you can see it. Open them wide and look for the smallest bit...

"I will be there... i will be at the light... Until we meet again, Test Tube"

"Until we meet again, Paintbrush..."

Who knew that the light would be a reality TV show...

1234 words! FUCK YEAH! It's perfect, brings a tear to your eye 🥲 you know what else brings a tear to your eye? When you finally get invited to something but you moved and are no where near where the event is taking place! Haha... I'm okay... I think? I DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SAD! LOTS OF DRAFTS, LOTS OF TIME TO MAKE UP BUT NOT ENOUGH!