Hey

Laughing on the outside - Bernadette carrol

On. With. The. Chapter. :)

***************

✨Emilia POV

My mind wouldn't stop thinking. Thoughts shattered and punched through my brain, breaking it like a mirror.

We'd managed to pack up just before the sun rose, breaking the morning alarm. It was a struggle when I was repulsed by my smell. It had been three days since I'd showered. Not the best but it could be worse. Rain and Luca squished in with Cassidy and Aspen's parents since Alessandro refused to pick them up which is just... no comment. Rain hopped in with Aspen and Luca hopped in with Cassidy.

It still felt like lake water was still burning my lungs, setting them afire like gasoline and a match.

My hair was greasy too - though it's been worse before - it still made me feel disgusting. Greasy hair could cook McDonald's fries. And not to mention greasy hair looks crispy and dead. It hurt me to brush it.

But the things that wouldn't stop running in my mind was yesterday when Felix confessed why he hates my brothers. And I understand.

If I were him I'd hate them too. Alessandro threatened the poor girl and told her to get an abortion yet still sold her the drugs after she had the appointment.

What do I do now? Do I continue my hunt throughout the house? Or do I keep this a secret from everybody and play it cool?

If I say anything about what Felix told me yesterday, I fear for his life.

"Hurry up," Blade grumbles slamming my door shut.

I take a small glance at Felix, his eyes glowed up with red veins and his cheeks were rosy and a little wet. He was crying again.

"What's up with him?" I hear Diego whisper over to Blade who was too focused with starting the engine and turning on the heaters.

Felix shifts uncomfortably and pulls his hood up and shoved his blueish and blotchy hands into his pockets. The hands looked so drained of colour because of the stabbing air.

"Ignore them. They're horrible," I move over removing my seat belt and link my arms with Felix's and rest my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I place a warm hand on his cheek so I can pull his face to face mine.

When I looked in his eyes, he looked so exhausted and tired; his eyes were droopy and they were bloodshot. Almost like he'd been crying all night and I didn't even know.

"You can stop touching each other," I hear Blade say loudly.

"Like you and Aspen yesterday? The difference is I'm hugging him, god knows what you two were doing. Slut," I use the phrase that Aspen seems to use on him a lot.

"Let's not use words like that-

"I'm pretty sure you and your psychotic self have used bigger and more astounding words than I have," I glare him as we set off on the road.

"Where's this cheek come from?" Diego asks me bitterly as he through his head over his shoulder.

"Your arse," I smile.

"That's it. One more sarcastic comment and I'll call Alessandro-

I interrupt Diego, "what's he going to do? Smack my bum and send me to bed?" I give a pointed look at Diego.

"Precisely," he begins by opening his phone and going into his contacts.

So scary.

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't give a flying fûck in the world. Does that work for you?" I grin, sarcastically of course.

"That's it," Diego presses the call button and a calling screen pops up. He presses the speaker option as it rings throughout the car.

"Ooh so scary," I temp his anger with waving hands.

"Diego what?" I hear a sigh come from Alessandro's end of the phone. Looks like Diego is going to be in more trouble than I am.

"Can you shout at Emilia for me? She's being rude and mean to me," Diego mumbles with a pout.

"Seriously? Grow the fûck up, and Emilia stop being a brat-

"Ha! The only brat there is Cordelia," I snort at him. Actually, Cordelia is a spiteful and deceitful pig that manipulates Alessandro into believing her.

Ugh. Cant we like kill her already? I'm tired of seeing her boring face all the time.

"Emilia!" I hear a feminine gasp of the rat over the phone.

"Hey, Cordelia," I mock in a high pitched tone. Today I wasn't feeling great, anything triggered my anger. Especially with my best friend feeling under the weather. If tormenting my brothers was a way to make him feel better, so be it. I loved him too much to see him so broken.

When your friend is upset, you don't know what to do. I always had a habit of asking people if they wanted water or I'll ask, 'are you okay' when they're clearly the opposite of okay.

When your best friend is in pain, you feel their pain too. Because that's love.

"Emilia, we'll talk about this when we get home, please behave for me. I'm trying to do something... so stop being a nuisance to me," the line dies and I'm left with a satisfied feeling in my gut.

Dunno why. But I was satisfied.

"I'll get justice for your sister," I whisper in his rosy ear and kiss his cheek as a thought of compassion and sympathy.

I might not have family members that died from an overdose, but I've lost a family member just like he lost his sister. And we'll both get justice for his sister.

"Thank you," he holds my hand the rest of the way home.

**************

We stopped by Felix's house just before we arrived home, I assured him I wouldn't say a thing. He has my complete trust and I would never betray it.

A loud slam of the front door grabbed my attention to two retreating figures rushing towards us.

"Blade Russo you are the biggest aśshole I've ever met!" When Blade finishes pulling me out of the car - my ankle still ached like it had been amputated - Corn greets us with clenched fists that turned white with the pressure.

"You act as if I didn't know that already," he smirks, gloating almost.

"Babe, what did he do?" Alessandro comes running after her like a puppy. Speaking of which, where was Neon? I feel like I haven't seen him in a long time.

Alessandro was whipped. Insert a whipping sound effect.

Cordelia stands there with her jaw clenched, fists ravelled up in each other and eyes bulging from their sockets.

"He called my head worker's office and I quote, claimed that I've been 'no help to any clients and that I've been rude pushing everyone's self-esteem down,' and now I DONT HAVE A JOB!" Cordelia's face was red with rage.

"Yeah because you're a bitch. Don't preach about mental health when you hurt peoples mental well-being on the daily. The hypocrisy is unreal," Blade scoffs opening the boot to the car and pulling out the dirty camping gear.

"Excuse me?! I do nothing but help people!" Cordelia stammers grasping onto Alessandro's arm, he winced when she stabbed her nails into his wrist.

"So why do you make fun of your clients? To say you're dating my brother, I'd hope that you show respect to his siblings, Emilia in particular, who in fact, is a client of yours and constantly complains about not being able to speak to you. I kindly suggest you get your ugly face out of mine before I make you myself. Cheers," he barges past her, leaving her astounded and shocked with her mouth wide open.

"Amen to that, brother," Diego chanters, chuckling a little following his lead inside the house.

That's a little dramatic.

I hop on my one foot, pressuring a little on my other but my whole body shook with agonising pain, I press a sweaty palm against the bonnet of the car. Blade kicked the door open and shut it with the back of his foot

"Bambina, let me help you," Alessandro takes a step closer to me and I push myself fully back against the car window.

"Don't. Don't touch me," I reject his offer with a shudder and look away from him down at the gravelly ground.

"Something wrong?" He asks looking confused with his brows connected.

"Nope," I exaggerate the 'p' and twiddle with my thumbs.

"Yeah as if I'm gonna believe that, let me help you," he begins to take another step closer to me and I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

I was scared of him. Oh my gosh, o was scared of my brother. That's just pathetic.

"Seriously what'd I do?" He asks with his voice breaking.

He didn't have to do anything, his entire aura just gave me bad vibes and I had the chills whenever I'd walk past him.

"Nothing. I'm just on edge, with Kelsey and stuff," I mumble, lying but it was a pretty great excuse. Kelsey will get what's coming to her in due time, and I'll handle her.

"Right, about that," he pauses and places a secure arm around my back and follows Cordelia lead, who had her arms crossed in a frustrated manner

"I had a phone call with her mum, she spoke on behalf of Kelsey and claimed it was an act of impulse and it was an accident," he informs me leaving me stunned.

"An ACCIDENT?! I think not," I spit, literally. My mouth and pasty with saliva and needed to get rid of it.

"Yeah I'm no fool, Kelsey is just... she's just Kelsey. We all know it was not an accident, that's exactly why I called her," he sighs pushing the door open after Cordelia rudely slammed it shut. She needs to remember whose house she's in.

"I'd be so satisfied if she just stayed away from me. You have no idea how much I want to hurt her, you know I'm not a fan of violence - most of the time - but I would be incredibly happy if she just disappeared," I growl and puff for air.

"Umm. Okay? Violence is never the answer," easy for you to say, god knows what you do to people. You're probably the most violent person I've ever met. Actually, he's not.

"Maybe not, but it's the last answer and the most useful answer of them all. If plan B doesn't work out, just hit them over the head, problem solved," I smile wickedly

"Violent aren't you?" He laughs nervously.

"Did you get taller over the weekend? I feel like you've grown a lot since," he squints, investigating me.

"Alvaro said that. Dunno? Do you think? Or is it my shoes?" I look down at one boot that was missing. My red boot, I only had my black boot on right now because I think I left the other boot in the car.

"No, you've grown. I'm proud of you, you're healthy again," he smiles ruffling my hair and I flinch.

"I'm proud of the milk. Despite my ultra-high hate for milk, it tastes nice with Luca's chocolate Nesquik powder in it."

Maybe I had grown taller, maybe I was healthy again. Does this mean I'll get my period soon?! I sure hope so, I've been wanting my period again for the longest as I can remember. My jeans also weren't as loose as they were before either. Improvements from the first time I came here.

"Keep it up, you're doing well," he praises me for the simplest things, I like that.

"Thanks."

***********

School. It was our first day back after the holidays and it felt like it was the first day at a new school. It always makes my stomach drop thinking about going to school.

"Hey, Ne," I bless Neon with kisses as he stretches his arms and legs. He yawns and does the downward dog yoga pose and licks my ear.

I loved how pointy his ears were; they perked up when you'd shout his name, or when you'd rattle a packet of treats, he'd come running with his little nubby tail wagging.

Neon jumps down and hooks his paw around the door that was ajar and skips out leaving me to get ready for school.

On the upside of today, I had art, but I didn't finish my homework that I was given just before the holidays. Meh, whatever happens, my dog ate my homework.

Hey, now I can use that excuse, I can't guarantee that it'll be a great excuse but I can try.

I finish showering and scrunching my hair with a towel then I go on the hunt for my blue skirt.

When I find it, I slip it over my tights and fasten the laces to my converse then make my way downstairs.

Huh, the carpets look different.

Because they were, they were a deep black and when the lights on the walls made them look shiny. They were red before right? Or am I going crazy?

"You coming?" A hand pressed against my shoulder pushing me down slightly.

I turn, welcomed with the face of Luca who had stacks of musical books resting in the other crevice of his arm.

"I like your earrings," I smile when I see he has earrings in the shape of keyboards and the other ear with a musical note. I want those.

"I know right, they're fabulous," he takes his hand from my shoulder and pulls his ear away from his head trying let me have a better look.

"They are. Where'd you get them?" I ask genuinely. Maybe I can get some.

"Amazon. I also got this ring from a shop I found online. Can't remember the name," he presents his ring which also linked to his musical talent - a silver, chunky ring with the pattern of the keys on a piano slipped onto his finger like a glove.

"That looks hella expensive, how much?" I shouldn't be so nosy, but these guys were rich, so it's interesting how much they would spend on something as minor as a ring. Imagine what their weddings are gonna be like.

"Six," he holds his hand out like he's checking his nails out. Black and white nails... I love that. He should just dress a piano, no one would see a difference. They were messily painted but I could see how he tried to clean the edges with acetone.

"Six...?" I drag our waiting for him to continue.

"Hundred. No biggy," he says with no emotion while my mouth hangs open wide letting all the bugs in.

"Are you okay? My mum would spend that on rent a month - even more actually," I was still amazed at how luxury and expensive this was. If I touch it, I'll soak up all of the value and ruin the ring.

"Dang. Really? You could've just asked us for money," he tells me sadly, his fine had darkened.

"It wasn't until September when I knew you existed. It was too late by then. Besides, you're here now," I frown then smile again.

I'm laughing on the outside and crying on the inside.

"Enough chatter, let's go eat. I'm starved," he rubs his tummy with his free hand.

We arrive downstairs in less than a minute and a giant puff of sweet air fills my lungs. Pancakes again.

Why did I hate them so much? They were too sweet, but weirdly enough I liked waffles which were sweeter than pancakes.

"Did you get new carpets over the weekend?" I ask, and Axel and Elijah stop eating and stare at each other in a secretive manner.

"Uhh yes. We did. Is there a problem? Do you like it?" Elijah says then takes a sip of his piping hot tea. He definitely added way too much milk to it, it was white.

"Not really, it makes the house look so... depressing. Like Dracula lives here or something. Why did you replace them?"

"Stains. There was a lot of them," Axel replies honestly and Elijah whacks him on the arm with his elbow.

"So you replaced every inch of carpet in the entire house?" This was suspicious. Just clean the carpet, all the halls now have black carpets instead of the red one. The red one was growing on me, I liked it.

"Exactly. A problem?" Elijah says like he was telling me to shut up or something.

"No. Just curious."

*************

"Can you speak to me?" Felix, Rain and I rush to art. Felix hadn't spoken to me all morning, other than a few nods and smiles occasionally.

"Did you two argue?" Rain asks looking confused.

"No, we didn't," Felix speak for the first time this morning. He was still so broken about last weekend. If I could absorb his pain and conjoin it with mine I would. Without and doubt.

"Oh, so we're speaking now? That's a first. Why aren't you speaking to me?" I tug on his arm.

"Just... I don't feel like speaking. Please let's not talk about this," he whispers the last part.

"Fine. But please don't ignore me. I know it's difficult for you but please don't shut me out," I whisper back as Rain waits for us impatiently with a hand in her hip.

"I'm sorry. Ever since I told you, I don't feel motivated. I feel endangered," he sighs pulling his hood up like he did yesterday.

"Endangered? Felix, I haven't told a soul. I swear on my own life, I haven't told a living creature. I'm not going to betray your trust like that," I squeeze his hand showing my honesty.

"Now that you've kissed and made up, can we go to class? I don't want detention. And it's art, I love art and don't want to be late," he hooks her arm around one of mine and one around of Felix's.

************

I was in art class bored out of my mind, sometimes I just think about how amazing it would feel to run out of those doors and never look back.

"Psst!" I nudge Felix.

He ignores me and retraces the line of the sketch I made him mess upon. We were set a task to sketch our own character, Felix chose to make his look like an anime character while I on the other went for a more fantasy and supernatural rout to the task.

Prove me wrong: vampires are so charming and attractive. Anything supernatural is attractive to me.

"Psst!!" I try again, nudging his elbow. He growls and grabs the rubber and erases the wonky line.

"What?!" He whispers in an angry tone.

"You coming over after school? Maybe we can search a little. It's fine if you don't want to. We can invite Rain too. You want?" I try to tempt his with a detective hang out sesh and it seems to work until he shakes his head no.

"Taww, why not? We can do some hunting while Rain finishes her homework," Rain always complains that she can never hang out with us because she's forced to do her homework every day after school. I leave mine until last minute because I'm too lazy to do it through the week.

"Maybe. I'll think about it, just let me work," he picks up a different pencil that was a lot sharper than the one before.

I nod, leaving him to his work and begin to tap the pencil lightly in my desk. I wasn't in the mood to do anything. Not to mention the pain that still cursed through my ankle whenever I'd pressure to much weight into it.

It looked like I was limping all the time - I was - but I'd hoped that I could still walk normally or even attempt to.

"I will come with you," I hear Felix mutter with a small smile. I squeal clapping my hands together like a seal lion would making people funnily stare at me. I was some imposter and intruder.

"I'll tell rain too at break. Meet me after school? I'm sure Blade will kindly give us a ride back to my house. Ooh but what if Rain's parents say no? And then she can't come? She's never been to my house before so I have to make sure it's clean and spotless... so much work. I can do it. We can do it. It's fine. No biggie right?" Tight sensation tugs at my lungs and fast, sharp breaths cut through my heart.

"Easy tiger, don't want to burn your lungs out do you?" Felix looks at me with a smirk. He loved that I was frustrated and panicking. THIS IS SERIOUS!! Why am I making plans when first of all, I didn't check in with Al about it, second things is that I don't know if Rain is even allowed to come yet.

Even if she is allowed, wed into be doing work the majority of the time. The point of this 'study sesh' was for me and Felix to talk about everything in depth. It's a little bit of a pickle if Rain's there. We'll work something out.