Yes, Jake and Kelsey talked to me about the baby a few days ago.

To say it didn't sting a little bit would be a lie.

It did.

But that doesn't stop the feeling of pure happiness I have for them.

Them, I know they're ready to have a baby.

Me, I am in high school. As much as I would love one right now because of everything Mason and I went through, there is no way in hell we're ready for one.

So until I am ready, I am going to be the most kick ass Auntie ever.

I just hope she looks like Jake cause if she looks like Kelsey, Jake is going to have his hands full.

Mason went over to his house to shower and change, he came back with a bag to spend the night, crawled in to my bed, and just wrapped me up super tight.

And he said the one thing I needed to hear before we passed out.

'You're going to be an amazing mom someday. Just today isn't that day.'

You all obviously know that I blame myself for what happened.

Which leads to me thinking that I am not good enough to be a mom at some point.

So now, every day this week since our therapy appointment, whenever I think about it, I am supposed to tell myself I am going to be a good mom some day, just today isn't that day.

Mason has been telling me that daily too.

And today, I really needed it.

I woke up around 3:00, but he was still passed out, and I know he's going through it too, so I decided to let him sleep.

I gently slid out from under his arms, headed to the bathroom, and turned on the shower.

I let it heat up while I stripped, got in, and let the heat melt everything away.

I stood there letting the water run over my body, scrubbing my face, cleaning my nose ring and earrings, when I felt arms going around my waist, and a face being buried in my neck.

"Why didn't you wake me up." He kissed my cheek.

"Just, wanted you to sleep." I nodded.

"Well, I did sleep, and now, I'm in the shower with you, which is much better than sleeping." He spun my around. "No music, excessively cleaning your piercings, what's going through this pretty little head." He tapped my forehead with his finger.

"Do you really want to know?" I raised my eyebrows.

He nodded.

I sighed. "What do you think Parker would've looked like?" I looked up at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

I nodded.

"I don't know Ol." He shook his head and put his hands on my lower back. "I guess, I would've wanted him to have your eyes, those piercing blue oceans would be lady killers. And, my hair, definitely my hair, and my nose. But your ears because mine are huge. Definitely my toes though because yours are jacked up."

"They're not that bad." I shook my head.

"No, no they are that bad." He nodded. "Did uh, who told you to talk to me about that?"

"No one, why?" I gave him a look.

"That's uh, that's the first time you've talked to me about him without any one pushing you."

I pursed my lips and nodded. "Therapy helped. You're the one person I need to be able to talk to about it."

He let out a small smile. "I am yes." He nodded. "Thank you." He pulled me in close and squeezed me.

"Thank you, for being you." I squeezed him.

"Not something to thank me for baby. Now, are you ready for part one of your Christmas present?"

"Part one?" I gave him a look.

"There's a few parts." He nodded. "Starting with attire for the night." He reached behind me and turned the water off. "Oh I feel so much better now. My skin is on fire." He let out a sigh of relief.

"Wasn't that hot." I shook my head.

He pushed my shower door open and pointed at my mirror. "It was hot. Psycho." He reached out and grabbed the towels off my towel rack.

We both wrapped ourselves up, I twisted my hair in a towel, and we headed out to my room.

He grabbed his bag out of my chair, and pulled out a wrapped up box.

"What is this?" I shook my head.

"Part one." He smiled and set it in my lap. "Open it."

I shook my head and opened it.

It was a pair of red and black plaid pajama pants, and a red long sleeved shirt that said ho ho ho with a Santa hat on the top O.

"Pajama's?" I raised my eyebrows.

His smile grew, and he reached back in his bag. "Matching pajama's." He nodded and pulled out the exact same thing. "Something right at the top of the cliche wish list. Matching Christmas pajama's." He nodded.

"This, is incredibly corny but incredibly sweet at the same time." I laughed. "But shouldn't we wait until we get back from shopping?"

"Fuck no. It's Christmas, and I am wearing my pajama's all day." He shook his head and slid his pants on.

"Uh, are you not wearing underware?" I gave him a look.

"No? I don't wear under ware with sweats unless they're gray Ol."

"Oh." I pursed my lips and started sliding mine on.

"UH, no no no. You, need panties." He nodded.

"Why do I need them if you don't?"

"Because if you don't wear any, we will not be making it through making dinner and eating. Because I will have you bent over your counter before you can say Mason. Put panties on please." He slid his shirt on.

I let out a small laugh. "Alright then." I walked over to my dresser, grabbed a pair and slid them on. "Do I have to wear a bra too or can I be comfortable."

"No bra is my favorite kind." He walked over and kissed my cheek.

We both finished getting dressed, I threw my hair in a bun and slid my boots on while he slid his sneakers on, and we headed out.

We went and bought everything to make a small Christmas dinner. A small ham, potatoes, corn, stuff for green bean casserole and mac and cheese. We got snacks, and my favorite hot cocoa.

When we got back to my house, we headed straight for the kitchen. First thing I even did was pre-heat the oven.

"Shit!" He yelled as he went through the bags.

"Oh god, what." I sighed.

"We forgot tomato soup. You make your ham with tomato soup, right?"

"Yes, I do." I nodded. "But, we always have tomato soup in the cupboards. It's fine Mason." I let out a small laugh.

"Alright then. Boss me around Ma'am. Tell me what to do." He smiled.

"Well, first, you can open all these cans for me. And then you can start peeling and cutting potatoes."

"I can do that."

And he did, he started opening all the cans while I started the ham.

You see, using tomato soup gives you this amazing gravy when it mixes with the juices from the ham, and you add a little corn starch too it to thicken it, and it's one of my favorite things to eat on Christmas.

He did started the potatoes, and he got the corn off the cobs while I made the green bean casserole and mac and cheese.

And after 2 hours, it was 6:00, and we were all sat down in our bed he made in front of the fire place, watching a Christmas Story, and drinking the bottle of wine our moms left us without our dads knowing.

"Turns out, I can cook more than eggs." He smiled.

"Mason, you mashed potatoes and corn." I laughed.

"And they're the best god damn mashed potatoes you've ever had." He nodded.

"Whatever you say there boyfriend." I shook my head.

"And I do say Wifey." He leaned across us and kissed my cheek.

"It's potatoes, butter, and milk." I nodded.

"Are you saying you could've mashed them?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, we do have a mixer Mase."

His face went completely flat. "You couldn't have told me that instead of me getting sore arms from continuously pounding potatoes for 20 minutes?"

"It was funny watching you." I laughed.

"I fucking hate you." He shook his head.

"No you don't." I shook my head.

"You're right. And just gonna throw this out there. You didn't say that you didn't mean it when I just called you Wifey." He smiled.

"Shut up." I nodded.

"See, you did mean it." He nodded.

"Well, I'm done eating." I got up and grabbed my plate.

"Oh come on Ol. You wanna marry my someday." He yelled as he followed me in to the kitchen.

"Keep it up and it won't happen!"

"You know for a fact if I asked you, you would." He nodded.

"Can't marry you if I kill you first." I shrugged.

Out of no where, my phone went off.

I pulled it out of my pocket.

Make sure you lock up honey, we're going down town to look at Christmas lights before our movie marathon.

Yes ma'am. Love you.

Love you my baby.

"Hey, can you go lock the front door. Parents are going down town to look at Christmas lights."

"Yes, I will. Then do you want to do snacks, or presents?"

"Definitely presents." I nodded.

"OK." He smiled and walked back in to the living room.

I locked the back door, and met him back in the living room.

"OK, who first, me or you?" I sat down in front of him.

He thought for a minute. "Give me my present." He held his hands out.

I sighed. "Now, keep in mind." I reached over and grabbed his gift. "This took me like, a month, so if you don't like it, fuck you." I nodded and set it in his lap.

"I promise you that's not going to be an issue." He shook his head and opened it. He raised his eyebrows. "Ol is this a scrap book of you and I?"

"You and everyone." I nodded. "There's pictures of you and me, and you me and Connor, you and your parents, you and my parents, you and Oaken, you and Jake, and I called the guys, and Ab and Sie, and they sent me a bunch of pictures they have of you and them, even Carter, Tory and Havannah pitched in. I mean, it's nothing big, but, I wanted you to have something with you in New York when you start missing all of us."

He started flipping through it, and then sniffled.

"Mason, are you crying?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No." He shook his head and wiped his face.

"Mason." I shook my head.

"No one's ever made me something." He looked up at me. "You, have no idea how much this book actually means to me."

"So, you actually like it?" I pursed my lips.

"Ol I love this. And this, it is big." He leaned over and kissed me. "Thank you." He gave me a small smile.

"Of course." I smiled and held my hands out. "My present please."

He let out a small laugh. "Close your eyes."

"Ugh, why." I whined.

"Do you want your present?"

I sighed. "Yes."

"So close your eyes." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes and closed them.

I heard some rustling, and then he was putting my right hand down and grabbing my left.

He kissed from my wrist up my palm to my finger tips, flipped my hand over and kissed my knuckles.

And the minute I felt cold metal sliding on to my finger, my heart about jumped out of my chest.

"Mason." I cleared my throat.

"Calm down. Open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and looked down.

And sitting on my finger was a shiny silver ring, with 2 heart stone, and stones around the band.

I pursed my lips and looked up at him.

"Ever since Jake got Kelsey her promise ring, you've wanted one." He nodded. "And uh, if I'm wearing a ring, which I love my ring, you're wearing one too."

I let out a small laugh. "So, this was more of a gift for you than it was for me?" I smiled.

"Oh most definitely." He smiled.

"And, what exactly are you promising?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Everything." He shrugged. "To give you, everything I can, everything in the world."

I sighed. "Mason you already have."

"How?" He shook his head.

I crawled on to his lap and straddled him. He put his hands on my lower back as mine went to the back of his neck. "Mason, you are everything. Especially to me."

He smiled, moved a hand to the back of my neck, and kissed me.

And then he made another one of my cliche fantasy's become reality.

That one, was to have sex in front of a lit fire place.

Now here we are, naked in my living room, wrapped up in blankets, drinking hot cocoa, watching The Polar Express, and me, just staring at my ring.

"So this means in a few years when I get you an actual ring, you'll like it just as much, right?" He pulled me in to him and laid us back.

"I don't think I'll ever like anything as much as I love this." I held my hand in the air and stared at it again.

"Well just think, it's Friday, and in exactly 2 weeks, we'll be on our way to New York, you'll be dancing in New York, and we'll be looking at apartments for Connor and I, and in a little over a year, we'll be living in New York together. Your favorite place in the world, with 2 of your favorite boys, and we can do this, every single night." He kissed the side of my head.

Hearing him say that, is all I've ever wanted.

This is like a dream come true.

Why does it feel to good to be true?