Since I work tomorrow, and it's Easter.

Happy Easter everyone!

Here's your chapter a day early!

Enjoy.

With Love

WhoooahKay

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I've gone completely numb.

Olivia has been with Kalum every night this week, picking her up in the morning, taking her home at night.

When I'm not at school or practice, I'm shoved in my bed.

But today, I'm being forced to get out of my bed to support Olivia, Abby, and now Laylynn because there's a competition today.

I sat up, wiped the sleep out of my eyes, and did what I've done every morning since Monday.

I checked for a message from Olivia.

And that's it.

I currently have 423 unopened texts, 94 missed calls, and it's because they're all not from the person I want them to be.

Olivia's name is no where near the top of my inbox.

There was a knock on my door.

"What!" I yelled.

My door flew opened, and there was Ryan and Ben.

"Dude, competition literally starts in an hour." Ben shook his head.

"I'm sick." I groaned and threw my self back.

"Mason." Ryan raised his eyebrows.

"No." I whined and threw my blanket over my head.

I heard my door close, and both the sides of my bed sink in.

Then the blanket was pulled off me.

"Come on Mase." Ben ruffled my hair. "You can't keep locking yourself in your room."

"Yes I can." I groaned and grabbed my blanket.

"No." Ryan ripped it back down. "Look, I know this Olivia and Kalum stuff is killing you. I've been there, I've felt it. It sucks, but you can't keep yourself in your room. We've barely seen you this week." He shook his head.

"Has it occurred to you that maybe I don't want to be seen?" I sighed.

"Well, you're going to be seen. Get out of this bed, get dressed, and lets go watch our girls dance." Ben nodded.

"What part of I ruined my fucking life because I'm in love with my best friends little sister, and I fucked over my best friend AND his little sister, don't you two quite grasp?" I shook my head.

"The part where you keep calling her your best friends little sister when you know she's more than that to you. She's not just his sister, she was your best friend too Mase." Ben nodded.

"No matter what is going on right now, you are always going to love her in some type of way. You've been to every single one of their competitions. And if you miss one, you're going to regret it. So come on, get out of the bed, and lets go. Please." Ryan sighed.

I rolled my eyes and sat up. "Is Kalum going?"

"Yes." They both nodded.

"Laylynn is dancing, and he's still our friend." Ben pursed his lips.

"He's fucking my ex-girlfriend." I nodded.

"He is not. He did it, once." Ben sighed.

"Twice. Virginity, remember?" I crossed my arms.

"Are you going to get dressed or not Mase." Ryan shook his head.

"What's the point." I shook my head. "He's gonna be all jeans and button up, and she's gonna be paying attention to him. I'm going to lay in my sweat pants and hoodie, and watch Bad Girls Club because someone elses drama seems to be the best thing for me right now. Let me know how they do."

Ben and Ryan just looked at each other.

"Shoes, wallet." Ryan nodded.

"Him." Ben nodded.

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

They both jumped off my bed, Ryan bent down, and Ben literally shoved me over Ryan's shoulder.

"Put me the fuck down!" I yelled.

"Nope!" Ben yelled and grabbed my sneakers and wallet.

"Seriously, put me down!" I screamed.

"No, you're going!" Ryan yelled as he carried me down the stairs.

"Thank you." My mom yelled as he carried me out the front door.

"Any time Mama T." Ben yelled.

"Mom really!" I shook my head as she followed.

"Yes." She nodded. "I'll see you there."

Ryan threw me in the back seat of his car and slammed the door.

I tried to get out, but couldn't.

They climbed in to his front seat.

"Did you ass holes really child lock me in here." I crossed my arms.

"Well, scenario A, was you suck it up and come support our girls and your little cousin willingly. Scenario B, was we make you. It just so happened to be B." Ben turned around and gave me my sneakers

I glared at them, put my shoes on, and took my wallet.

We pulled in to the school parking lot, Carter met us out side and Connor, Josh, and unfortunately Kalum were saving us seats.

"Lets go." Ryan opened my door.

"No." I crossed my arms.

"Get out of the car or I'm knocking your jaw off your face." Carter nodded.

Guess what, my ass got out of the car because I know he actually could.

We all walked in and sat in the auditorium. All the girls in the row in front of us with Oaken, the moms, Jake, Kelsey, Holden and Josh behind us with Uncle Derek. Our row, Kalum, Carter next to him, then Ryan, Ben, Connor, and me.

"You look like shit." Jake leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Because I am, I am shit." I nodded.

"So he does speak." Connor whispered. "You look like ass."

"Yeah, you should smell me." I nodded.

"Did you not shower?" He gave me a look.

"Didn't have time between being thrown over Ryan's shoulder and child locked in a car." I glared down at Ben and Ryan.

"We gave you the option." Ben shrugged.

"Scenario B, huh?" Connor nodded.

They both nodded.

"Can we just shut up about it, please?"

"Fine, come over after? Little X-Box?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Con I can't really-"

"She won't be home." He shook his head. "Dude, just come hang out. Me and you. Sienna is going out with Abby, Havannah and Tory, Oaken and Bebe will be upstairs, and the moms are going to work."

"I will also be there." Jake leaned forward.

"Why?" Connor gave him a look.

"How about because I miss my family and Kelsey is going dress shopping?" He nodded.

"Fine, you can come too." Connor shrugged. "Come on Mase."

I sighed. "Alright." I nodded.

"And shower first, you really do smell like ass." Jake patted my shoulder and sat back.

After the group dance, her trio with her littles, and her and Abby's duet, I was done. But I couldn't get up with out Jake pushing me back down. Her duet with Laylynn was sweet, her duet with Will cut through my chest like a knife every time he lifted her, and her solo Jane choreographed to Honey and Glass was amazing.

All I want to do is crawl back in to my bed as they went through student choreo pieces. And then the thing I was dreading.

"Please welcome to the stage, from Janes Dance Studio, dancer number 28, Olivia Pate with Silent Scream.

At this point we've been here for 5 hours, we were all leaned back and half asleep when she came prancing out on the stage.

The music, sounded like a lullaby.

Then dropped.

I'm caught up in your expectations

You're trying to make me live your dream

But I'm causing you so much frustration

And you only want the best from me

Connor sat straight up and the look on his face went from bored, to what the fuck real quick.

You wanted me to show more interests

To always keep a big bright smile

Be that pinky little perfect princess

But I'm not that type of child

And then I sat up with him with the same look.

And the storm is rising inside of me

Don't you feel that our worlds collide?

It's getting harder to breathe

It hurts deep inside

Connor and I looked at each other when the music stopped for a few seconds.

Then it started back up as she threw a grand jete and went in to a sequence of spins.

Just let me be

Who I am

It's what you really need to understand

And I hope so hard for the pain to go away

And it's torturing me

But I can't break free

So I cry and cry, but just won't get it out

She dropped to her knees and ran her fingers through her hair.

The silent scream

Fuck me. This whole thing is about me and Connor.

And apparently he caught on to it too as his face sunk just as low as mine did.

Tell me why you're putting pressure on me

And everyday you 'cause me harm

That's the reason why I feel so lonely

Even though you hold me in your arms

Wanna put me in a box of glitter

But I'm just trying to get right out

And now you're feeling so, so bitter

Because I've let you down

I took a deep breath and shook my head.

Fuck! She didn't do anything to let me down, I let her down!

And the storm is rising inside of me

Don't you feel that our worlds collide?

It's getting harder to breathe

It hurts deep inside

Just let me be

Who I am

It's what you really need to understand

And I hope so hard for the pain to go away

And it's torturing me

But I can't break free

So I cry and cry, but just won't get it out

The silent scream

Her movements slowed down with the music as she dropped to the floor and started doing floor tricks.

Can't you see how I cry for help

'Cause you should love me just for being myself

I'll drown in an ocean

Of pain and emotion

If you don't save me right away

At this point, I really did try to stand up and leave, and then Jake grabbed me, pushed me down, and literally held me there.

"Sit down, now!" He basically yelled in a whisper.

Just let me be

Who I am

It's what you really need to understand

And I hope so hard for the pain to go away

And it's torturing me

But I can't break free

So I cry and cry, but just won't get it out

The silent scream

My silent scream

I looked down the row, and everyone aside from Kalum was just staring at Connor and I. Including the girls and Oaken in front of us.

But Kalum. He was no longer smiling.

His lips were pursed and his eyes were closed.

Connor and I sat there in silence as they read out the placements.

Olivia's student choreo took first, for get this, good technique, and STRONG EMOTION.

I can't tell you how fast Connor and I sped out and got in his moms car with Oaken and Bebe.

Fuck.

I danced my ass off and took first.

My mom met me back stage and told me that Connor, Mason, and Jake headed back to the house with Oaken and Bebe. She and Trish were going to work, and that she was so proud of me. That my solo to honey and glass was her favorite dance I've done, and to have fun with Kalum.

The worst part about all of that, is that I have to go home to change before Kalum and I go to a movie and a bite to eat.

I threw on my sweat pants and a sweater and headed out to the hallway to meet him.

"Hi." I smiled. "I just have to run home and change, wanna just follow me?" I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

He sighed, and moved them down. "Olivia." He shook his head.

"What?" I gave him a look.

He interlocked our fingers and held my hands down in front of him. "The last 2 weeks spending time with you, has been amazing." He nodded. "And I really like you-"

"No." I shook my head. "Do not do that right now Kal."

"That is the best dance I have ever seen you do." He sighed. "And I know, I helped you chose the song, but I never expected that. The hurt, it really came out. And I know, you like me. But you love him. Both of them." He shook his head. "And I'd be lying to myself if I said that I'm the person you really want. And that's not your fault. You can't help who you fall for. But seeing you, and seeing him and how not himself he is, it hurts."

"Kalum." I pursed my lips.

"You love him Olivia." He nodded. "You and I, we're always going to be friends, and it's because I do want you to be happy. And Mason, makes you happy. It's time for you to talk to him."

"But we're-"

"Taking things as they come. And we did. It came to me realizing how much you're pushing yourself to move on, when he's trying to hang on for dear life. Ol, I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you, you know that. But he loves you." He let go of my hands. "I'll see you in school Monday." He gave me a small smile and sighed. He walked away, leaving me in the hallway in utter disbelief that that actually just happened.

I don't even know what the hell is going on with the guys in my life anymore. I don't even know what the hell is going on with me in my life anymore.

I sure as hell didn't even realize I had drove home until I pulled in my driveway.

I took a deep breath, got out of my car, and walked inside.

"Hey, I thought you were-Olivia."

I didn't even acknowledge Jake when I walked through my kitchen and down to my basement.

I looked around my studio, and all I could think of what Mason.

Mason has wedged his way in to everything. My relationships, my thoughts, every room in my fucking house.

Including this one.

This one room was supposed to be my safe haven.

My safe place.

The one place where I never had to worry about anything outside of it.

My mind went back to the day I left school early after him cussing me out in a janitors closet.

"You're more than good enough for me." My brain screamed at me.

"Stop." I took a deep breath.

"You're more than everything I've ever wanted." The voice in my head changed to his.

"Shut up." I pursed my lips.

"You have me."

"I swear to god. Shut up." I shook my head.

"You're my one." The voice got louder.

I groaned and put my hands over my ears.

"I love you."

"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed.

Everything went black.

The next thing I know, I'm being squeezed, and the minute I heard Jake's voice screaming "Olivia stop!" My vision started coming back.

I'm laying on my studio floor with Jake's arms wrapped around my entire body, my barre ripped off my mirrors, my mirrors shattered on my floor, my clothes now red, and my hands stinging.

"Connor, towels! Now!" Jake yelled.

Mason and Oaken just staring at me as I scream, or at least attempt to between hyperventilating and choking for air, my eyes are waterfalls.

"Oaken go upstairs." Jake nodded. "Mason take him up the stairs now. Connor the fucking towels!"

They both just stood there as Connor sprinted down the stairs.

"Connor get them upstairs." Jake let go of me, grabbed the towels, and wrapped them around my hands.

Connor basically shoved them up the stairs.

"Ol just breathe." He squeezed the towels on both of my hands and unwrapped them.

I had huge gashes down both of my hands.

"Shit." He sighed.

"It all hurts." I cried. "Everything fucking hurts." I buried my face in his chest."

He wrapped my hands back up, and picked me up off the floor. "Keep your hands wrapped."

I just nodded and continued to cry.

He carried me up the stairs.

"What the hell happened." Connor stood up.

Jake looked down at me in his arms.

"Fix it!" He looked at Connor and carried me out of the house.

"Where are we going." I cried as he put me in his truck.

"To get your hands stitched and you're going to tell me, everything. Now." He closed my door and got in.

I don't even know what happened.

All I know, is I'm hurting.

My hands, my chest, my heart.

Everything comes back to Mason.

Fuck.