I am going out of my mind.

I woke up yesterday, out of my mind.

This morning, I woke up out of my mind because it's Saturday.

Olivia is going out of town with Kalum, and the guys, Abby, Sienna, Havannah, and Tory expect me to go to a fucking party at Nico's.

How the hell am I supposed to go to a party at Nico's when my girl is going out of town with my cousin. The first dude to touch her. The first dude to see her naked, the first dude to be literally inside her.

I'm going crazy.

I finally pulled myself together, and I pretty much sprinted over to her house because Connor is at Sienna's.

I pretty much barged in to their kitchen to Oaken and Amber making out on their kitchen table.

"Jesus Mason!" Oaken yelled.

"Where is Olivia?" I pursed my lips.

"I'm calling Connor." Amber shook her head.

"If you even think about calling him, I will snap your phone in half." I nodded.

"Mason!" Oaken yelled.

"Olivia, where?" I crossed my arms.

"Her room. Packing." He nodded.

"Thank you!" I yelled and ran out of the kitchen.

I skipped about 6 steps running up to her room, and just like in the kitchen, I barged through her door.

"Jesus what the fuck!" She yelled and covered herself with her blanket.

Apparently she just showered or was getting dressed. And my mouth literally started watering.

"What are you doing?" She shook her head.

And like a weirdo, who is going crazy, I just stared at her.

"Hello!" She waved. "My room, a reason you're in it?"

"You can't go." I shook my head.

"Yeah, get out." She pointed out of her room.

"No Olivia. You can not go!" I yelled. "You can't fucking go with him. Not when you're-"

"I'm what Mason!" She yelled.

"Mine!"

"I'm not! You made that very clear by agreeing to everything that Connor told you! You didn't look at me for 5 fucking days unless you were glaring at me! You haven't said anything to me unless it involves another guy! You don't get to come in here and tell me that I can't get one fucking night away from the looks, or the words, or the thought of you saying OK over everything running through my fucking head! And you don't get to come in here and tell me I'm yours." She screamed.

"Give me the blanket." I grabbed the end of it.

"No."

"Olivia give me the fucking blanket!" I literally ripped it away and grabbed her hands. "You can not be acting this cold right now if you actually love me. You can't tell me that you don't miss me enough to want me in here, telling you not to go because I love you. You miss my hands." I ran a few fingers down her arm. "That you don't miss my heart beating this fast when I just look at you." I put her other hand on my chest. "And you can't tell me that you don't miss me kissing you and making you feel like you're mine." I leaned down and kissed her. "Because you are."

And then I felt her hand come straight across my face.

"You don't get to do that!" She pointed in my face. "Now get the hell out of my room!" She literally started shoving me. And shoving me hard out of her room, and slammed the door so hard that it echoed through the house.

I took a deep breath, and just walked down the stairs.

Oaken and Amber just stared at me.

"What?" I rolled my eyes.

"What did you expect to happen when you walked up there?" Amber shook her head. "You and Connor are the whole reason she's going with him to get out of town."

"What the fuck did you expect me to do in this situation Bebe?" I crossed my arms.

"The same thing Oaken would do." She nodded.

"And that would be?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Fight for her." Oaken nodded. "I love Connor. I do. But my love life has nothing to do with him. And if he was willing to shut me out like he threatened to with you, I wouldn't consider him a friend in the first place, and I sure as hell wouldn't be as nice to him as Olivia is. "

"You're his brother, he has to love you no matter what you do." I shook my head.

"You're his brother too." Oaken crossed his arms. "Just, you made your bed Mase. And as much as I wish you two would just work it out, she's so past the point of broken where it's turning in to rage and I really don't want to see you get your ass whooped. So just, let her go. There's nothing you can do, and after this shit-tastic week, she really needs it."

And then there was a knock.

"Got it!" Olivia yelled as her feet hit the stairs.

The door opened.

"You ready Ollie-Pop?" Kalums voice echoed through the house.

"Can we go to Tims?" Olivia laughed.

"Girl you should already know it's in the truck. Your Ice Capp and Tim Bits. Hand the bag over and go get your ass in the truck."

"Don't tell me to go get my ass in the truck. It's rude."

"I'm not the one who slept with someone and didn't call them after." He laughed. "You're the rude one."

"I'm not rude."

And the next thing I know, I'm walking to the living room doorway.

Both Oaken and Amber body blocked me.

"Let her go." Oaken shook his head.

"Go to the party at Nico's tonight, get drunk, and have fun." Amber nodded.

I took a deep breath and backed away.

The door slammed, a few moments later his truck started, and his tires screeched out of the driveway.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" I shook my head.

Oaken sighed. "Take your mind off it. Like she's trying to."

"How?" I pursed my lips.

My phone went off.

So did Oaken and Bebe's.

"Olivia posted on her story." Amber pursed her lips.

I pulled my phone out.

Her and Kalum were shoving multiple tim bits in their mouths.

The caption

'Two 'Hoes' with Timmy Ho's.'

I slid up and started typing.

mhollow26; you're not a hoe

Her bitmoji popped up and she started typing.

LivLaughLove; have you not been to school this week? Hoe is a nice word for what I've been called this week.

mhollow26; please just, come home. don't go. I wont go to this party at Nico's and you and I could talk.

LivLaughLove; now you want to talk? I've wanted to talk to you all week but much like a scared little bitch, you've avoided me.

mhollow26; look Ol, I know the reason you're being so bitchy is because you're hurt. I get it, but if you'd just talk to me you wouldn't have had to smack me this morning.

Her chat closed.

mhollow26; Olivia please.

Nothing.

mhollow26; Bitch did you just turn off my notifications.

And then Kalum's story had a picture in the bubble.

It was Olivia puckering with a gummy worm on her top lip.

'Let the road trip begin'

I took a deep breath and looked at Oaken and Amber. "You guys wanna go to the baseball field?" I pursed my lips.

"Need to hit something with a bat?" Amber laughed.

"It's not funny." I shook my head.

"They're friends." Oaken patted my back. "I need to work on my pitching." He put his arm over my shoulder and held his hand out to Amber. "Come on baby. You want to go hit some balls."

She smiled and nodded.

We headed out to the truck and to the baseball field.

And I realized that this, was a terrible idea.

Oaken has thrown me 14 balls, and I have hit a total of 0.

Fucking Amber has his at least 6, and I have hit literally zero.

And I just missed the one he threw.

"Mother fucker!" I screamed, and I whipped the bat in to the fence.

"You really are fucked about this." Amber shook her head.

"Really, you couldn't already tell that?" I shook my head.

She sighed and looked at Oaken.

"Why don't you set up the pitching machine." She gave him a small smile.

"OK baby." He smiled.

She looked at me and nodded toward the benches.

I sighed and she followed me over.

"You clearly can't talk to Connor about this, so talk." She sat and crossed her arms.

I sat down and put my face in my hands. "I thought that keeping my friendship with Connor was more important because he's literally been by my side for 13 years." I shook my head. "But then I realized, so has she. And I know you're pissed at me right now. But god Bebe, I am dying. All I had to do was be honest with Connor, and I'd still have her. But the relationship I have with my best friend, I can't lose that. He's my brother, but she's my family too, and I'm terrified that I just pushed her away to the one guy who can actually take her from me before I have a chance to fix it, with both of them."

"Do you want me to tell you the truth, or do you want me to sugar coat it?" She looked over at me.

I sniffled. "The truth." I nodded.

"I know you love Connor, but, does he make your heart race?"

"What the fuck kind of question is that?" I shook my head.

"A valid one."

"No, he doesn't."

"Does he make you want to be a better person?" She raised her eyebrows.

I sighed and shook my head.

"Does the thought of Connor going out of town with someone make your head spin, or your stomach burn?"

I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"And that right there, is the difference between loving someone, and being in love. But you, you just went along with someone you love, and didn't even put up a fight for the girl you're in love with Mason. When Connor talked to Olivia last Sunday, she told him that she couldn't do what he was asking because she is in love with you, and that if he loved her half as much as he says he does, that he would want her to be happy. Because that's what someone who loves you does. What has her so beyond the point of fucked, is that she was willing to lose her brother for you, and you weren't." She shook her head.

"Wait, she didn't agree to it?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No. But Connor told her that you already did, and that was enough for her to break. All she wanted was you Mason. And I'm sorry, but you did push her away. She needs tonight to be away from you, and you need tonight to just, be with your boys. Your friends. You're a good guy Mason. You just made a bad decision."

"I don't deserve her anymore." I shook my head. "And we all know about her history with Kalum now."

"Mason, put it this way. She has had plenty of guys willing to give her the world. But none were willing to make her their world."

"She is my world." I nodded.

"Exactly. So let your world breathe for a minute. She'll come back." She patted my bath.

I sighed. "And Connor?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You love him. But your love will only be priceless to someone who recognizes your worth. If Connor can't see how good of a friend you are and everything you do for him, and look past how much you love Olivia, then he doesn't deserve you in his life either. Stop letting him control your feelings, and just feel."

"Are you sure you're 14?"

She let out a small laugh. "I am. Just, I found my person really early, and I know he would never let someone, even Connor, tell him how he gets to feel about me."

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Now go hit something with a bat and let some steam off." She smiled.

"You're my favorite now, you know that?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I know." She nodded. "Now go! Get your swing back!" She stood up and pulled me to my feet.

I walked over to the plate and grabbed my bat. "Highest setting Oaken."

He smiled and nodded.

And when that ball flew, I swung, and it blew past the fence.

We hit for a little while, then went back to the houses.

When I say for a while, we were out here for a good 6 hours.

Connor showed up and we got ready for the party.

Connor decided he wasn't going to drink tonight in case something happened in State College and he had to go get Olivia, so he was driving. We were in the truck on the way to Nico's after picking up Sienna, Ryan and Havannah, since Tory and Ben were riding with Abby and Carter, when my snap tone went off.

It was Olivia's story, and Kalums.

They were in the mirror of a hotel room, same picture, both of them in Skillet shirts with, Kalums was a cut off, Olivia's was cut down the sides and tied, she was wearing torn up skinny jeans, and when I say torn up, they showed more skin than most shorts. Her hair was up in a curly pony tail, her make up was all done up the way she does it when she's trying to impress, and they both had beer bottles in hand.

'Step 1; pre-game!'

He hand a hand around her waist, and hers was up over his shoulder.

All of the pictures on their stories, are pissing me off.

Shopping, lunch, he took her to the mall over in State College to get her nails done, pictures of pizza boxes and snacks all over their beds. At least they're in two beds.

It could be me there with her, but here I am, going to a party with the urge to get shit faced.

About 2 hours in to the party, I was drunk as hell, everything Amber said earlier drained from my head, and the only thing I can think about is that Olivia is with Kalum at a concert, squeezed up tight against him to avoid being crushed by screaming fans, his arms around my girl, them sharing a hotel room.

But the minute my phone went off, my heart stopped beating.

Liv posted another picture on her story.

They were at the concert, redbulls in hand, and Kalum was standing behind her with is arms wrapped around her neck and his head resting on top of hers.

' skillet concert with @kaljen43. thank you for a great night!' with a smile then a wink.

And with that, I'm fucking done.

If she can have fun with someone from her past, so can I!

I chugged, and I mean chugged the rest of my beer, and I found none other than Kallie. I don't really know much about her, but I do know that she is a whole lot of fun.

I got another drink, and I walked right over.

"Mason Hollow." She smiled up at me.

"Kallie Saunders." I smiled. "You, look hott."

She flipped her hair. "I try."

"Do you maybe." I leaned down in her ear. "Wanna go somewhere else?"

I heard her let out a little laugh. "Oh so you do remember me?"

"How could I forget, you practically left scars on my back." I smirked.

She bit her bottom lip. "Is this about my brother?"

I let out a small laugh. "Believe it or not, your brother is the last thing on my mind when I look at you."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "Upstairs?"

"Meet me in Nico's room in 5?"

"Clothed or un-clothed?" She smiled.

"Half and half. Leave your panties on, you know I like to tease." I smiled.

"OK." She winked and headed up the stairs.

I took a deep breath, chugged the rest of my beer, and walked to get another one.

"Jesus dude. Slow down." Ryan laughed and walked over. "What's the rush."

"I have plans." I cracked it open and took a drink.

"How are you going anywhere when you can't drive?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I don't need to drive to walk up the stairs." I shook my head.

"Mason?" He gave me a look.

"I have someone waiting for me, alright?" I rolled my eyes and started walking.

"Mason!" He grabbed my arm. "I just saw Kallie walk up there. There's no fucking way."

"She can have fun, why can't I." I crossed my arms.

"Dude bad idea." He shook his head. "Her ex's little sister, really bad fucking idea. Abby." He grabbed her as she walked by. "Tell him going to fuck Kallie is a bad idea."

She crossed her arms. "And how are you going to explain that to Ol?"

"In case you don't realize this, she is currently in state college with the dude who took her virginity that I am also related to. I don't owe her an explanation."

"You're drunk Mason. You're going to regret it. Just, don't." She shook her head.

"Abby, shut up, and mind you're business." I pulled my arm away from Ryan, chugged my beer, and walked up the stairs.

I got up to Nico's room and knocked.

"Open!" Kallie yelled.

I walked in and locked the door behind me.

She was propped up on the bed, nothing but panties.

"Took you long enough." She smirked.

"Late is better than never." I pulled my shirt off and crawled on top of her.

"We gonna talk, or you gonna help me relive a memory?" She raised her eyebrows.

I leaned down and kissed her.

But my stomach started turning. These aren't the lips I love, the lips that draw me in deeper to every kiss.

Shake it off Mason.

I moved one of my hands from her side down to her legs and between her thighs.

She let out a light moan.

Her moans are higher pitched that Olivia's are.

Stop fucking thinking about Olivia Mason!

I moved the kiss from her lips, down to her neck. Her perfume tasted like peaches.

I don't like peaches.

Olivia tastes like apples and cinnamon.

Damn it stop!

I moved down her body till I was propped between her legs.

I kissed the insides of her thighs, and ran my tongue against the center of the fabric of her panties.

My chest hurts. These aren't the hott lace panties Olivia wears, these are cotton, and no. It's just all wrong.

I slid her panties down her legs, and I went right in.

She grabbed my hair, but I couldn't feel her nails tangle in my curls. Her nails are short, and french tipped. Not the colorful claws I'm used to.

I go until she's screaming my name, but the problem is, I am no where close to hard.

I crawled my way back up her body, and she flipped me right over.

I took a deep breath. "You may need to do a little something." I nodded.

"With pleasure." She smiled.

I pulled my wallet out of my pants as she made her way down the bed, dragging them with her.

Her hands are bigger than Olivia's. And they're not as soft when she wraps one around me.

I'm trying, I'm trying so hard.

She slowly slides her mouth on and I notice that her lips aren't as big as Olivia's. Or soft.

Thinking about Olivia's lips though, that was enough to get me hard.

I reached over, pulled a condom out of my wallet and opened it with my teeth.

"Come here." I pulled her head off and dragged her up my body.

I slid the condom on and pushed her down on to me.

She moaned so loudly, and it made me shudder.

What the fuck is wrong with me.

Kallie is hott. Like, killer hott, but this doesn't feel the way it should.

It doesn't feel like what I've had for the last 3 months.

She wasn't moving fast enough, or hard enough to get me anywhere close. So I grabbed her hips and moved her myself.

She literally rode me for 15 minutes, got off twice, and I was still not even close.

So I flipped her on to her back, put her legs up on my shoulders, and I slammed in to her.

Another 20 minutes went by, her getting off a few more times, me out of breath and not even close.

"Mason this is really starting to hurt." She whined.

I groaned, pulled out, and rolled off her. "Kallie I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"Do you need me to-"

"No. It's no use." I sighed. "I'm not going to be able to come. Not with you."

She scrunched her face and looked at me. "Oh my god." She sat up and grabbed her clothes. "This was about Olivia!" She yelled and started pulling her clothes on.

"Kallie I-"