Will Grayson throws amazing parties.

Simply put.

But unfortunately, I got drunk and about 3 hours in, I got in my feels watching Sienna, Connor, Oaken and Amber. But mostly Sienna and Connor.

To the point where I ended up wandering to a corner alone, with an entire box of pizza, white claw in hand and two in my cardigan pockets.

About half a pizza gone, and a white claw and a half down, I saw Carter walking over toward me.

He sat down next to me.

"What's wrong?" He pursed his lips.

"Nothing, why?" I shook my head.

He sighed. "I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Mason. I'm a smart guy." He nodded.

"Meaning." I laughed.

"Meaning, I know, about you and Mason." He raised his eyebrows.

I felt my entire face change and panic run through my body.

"I haven't told anyone, and I'm not going to." He shook his head.

I tel out a sigh of relief.

"Come on." He nudged me. "Let me be your confidant while your boyfriend beer bongs redbull with his boyfriends."

I watched the boys do beer bongs, then Connor walk back over to Sienna and just kiss her.

They all decided they weren't drinking tonight. And me being the amazing friend I am, I am letting Ben borrow my car.

"I just hope, that when the time comes, Connor's gonna do the same thing I am." I nodded and looked at Carter.

"You mean, acting like it OK when it's really not?" He gave me a small smile.

I nodded. I sighed and shook my head. "I know, he's an asshole. And I know he's over baring as hell. But, never once, has there been a time where I couldn't count on him. I've never heard the words 'You can't do it' come out of his mouth, or the word 'no' when it comes to helping me." I shook my head. "When it comes to them, I'm not OK with it but I have to be." I nodded. "Because he deserves to be happy. He's happy. She's happy. Just look at them." I looked back out to them. "I have never seen him look at someone that way before, aside from her." I nodded. "It's not about how I feel about it. It's about him being happy. I just hope, he realizes that too." I nodded.

"Why don't you guys just tell him." He shook his head.

"I want to." I nodded. "God Carter I want to tell him so bad, but Mason's not ready." I shook my head. "Aside from Oaken, Jake, our parents and Amber, you and Ryan, I am lying to everyone I love, and I don't want to. I feel so guilty. I wanna be able to do that." I pointed at Connor and Sienna. "I want to be able to kiss my boyfriend in public, and, tell everyone he's mine. But I can't."

"Are you scared about what Connor's gonna do?"

I shook my head. "No, because even though his opinion about this means everything to me, it's not gonna change how I feel. I just have to stick it out another month." I nodded.

"Well, during that month, if you need me you know where I am." He nodded.

"Hey Boo." Abby walked over and sat down. "What's the matter?" She put her arm around me.

"Oh you know babe, drunk emotions." Carter looked over at me.

"Lover boy didn't show up?" She pursed her lips.

I shook my head. "He doesn't want to deal with Connor."

"I'm sorry boo." She rubbed my back. "Forget about him tonight. Come dance, get even more drunk and have fun." She smiled.

"I think." Her and Carter pulled me to my feet. "That is a great idea." He smiled.

"I'll even let you steal him." Abby nodded.

"I don't know." I shook my head. "I don't think I can handle all that." I motioned down Carters body.

"She can't even handle me." He shook his head.

"Boy, I have you tired out in 30 minutes." She nodded.

"Shut up." He nodded.

"And, you guys suck. I haven't had sex in weeks." I whined as they dragged me over to everyone.

The one thing I absolutely hate about being drunk, is the mood swings.

That, and my hormones are still out of whack.

Because I went from drunk babbling about my feelings, to incredibly turned on for no damn reason other than Mason's arms in his tight t-shirt look incredible.

He looks incredible.

He's incredible.

God, I'm in love with him.

I am. But the minute I say that it becomes more than just figuring out what's going to happen after we tell Connor. I don't know what Mason's going to do, or what Connors going to do. So the one thing I can do to keep my heart intact, is to forget that I'm in love with him, but tonight I'm finding it difficult.

God I want him.

And now he's walking over to me.

Why does it feel like I died and went to heaven.

What is wrong with me.

I'm not dumb.

I noticed Olivia sitting over in the corner alone, but with a mixture of drunk and hormones, I don't dare say anything about it.

Carter asked if he could try to talk to her, so him being the smart guy he is, I'm gonna let him.

Whatever he did, definitely pulled her out of it though.

Because right now, it's 1AM, Oaken and Amber are ready to go home, my girl looks like she literally wants to eat me, and I am in charge of getting them all home.

Ryan is taking Havannah home.

Carter's got Abby staying with him tonight.

Ben and Tory are actually going back to her house because her parents aren't home. Home girl did a complete 180 out of no where.

Connor is driving Sienna's car to her house and he's staying there.

Josh is staying here.

And Olivia is staying with me while Amber and Oaken take advantage of their empty house.

Me, I am going to try to attempt to show a tiny bit of restraint when all I want to do is put her legs on my shoulders, literally rail her in to oblivion and make her walk funny for a week. But all I can think about it that she just had surgery, her body is still sore, and if she can't dance Monday she may actually kill me in my sleep.

I told everyone goodbye, and wandered off to find Ol.

I finally found her, literally doing body shots off of Havannah with Sienna. "Alright shit brick." I walked over and crossed my arms. "Amber and Oaken want to go home, which means, so do you." I nodded.

"But I'm having fun." She whined.

"And you'll be having even more fun tomorrow when you wake up and can't feel your head. I'm doing you a favor, lets go before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out like the spoiled little brat you are."

"You wouldn't dare." She shook her head and crossed her arms.

I pursed my lips, nodded, and literally, threw her over my shoulder. "Bye Havannah. Love you Sie."

"Bye." They laughed and waved.

"Mason put me down now!" She yelled when we got outside.

"Don't act like you didn't want me to carry you anyway." I opened my door and put her in the passengers seat.

But when I looked in the back seat, Oaken and Amber already had their tongues down each others throats.

"Whoah." I yelled. "No." I shook my head. "Not in here."

"As if no one has had sex in this truck." He rolled his eyes.

"I have." Olivia raised her hand.

He scrunched his face. "Oh. I'm gonna wait until I get home." He nodded.

I got in my drivers seat and smiled at her. "Thank you."

"Mhm." She nodded. "I'm gonna take a nap now."

I laughed. "OK baby."

We got back to our houses.

I shook Olivia awake, she wouldn't wake up.

I walked 2 14 year olds over to their house, came back and finally got Olivia awake, and we headed up to my room.

"I needed the nap." She smiled and plopped down on my bed.

"Feel less shwasty?" I laughed.

She nodded. "And now I feel like I need a shower."

"OOO." I plopped down on top of her. "Does that mean I get to come with you in the shower?"

"Is anyone cheating on my friends?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Not that I know of. No." I shook my head.

"Then yes, you get to come shower with me." She smiled and started unbuttoning my shirt.

"I can do that." I leaned up

"But you doing it takes the fun out of it." She nodded and kept unbuttoning.

"You know by shower, I mean shower, right?" I raised my eyebrows.

"I do not." She shook her head.

"Ol we're not having sex in the shower. First time post-surgery, happens in this bed." I nodded.

"We'll see." She smiled and pulled my shirt off my arms.

I got off my bed, took the rest of my clothes off, she would not let me take hers off, which, that was excruciating because she did it way too slowly.

Keep it together Mason.

She went and started the shower while I went and got towels.

You know, every time I try to mentally prepare myself for any type of bathing with Olivia, I never prepare myself enough.

"God Ol." I jumped back as soon as I got in.

"What?" She gave me a look.

"How the fuck do you have any skin left!" I yelled.

"It's not that hot." She rolled her eyes.

"I am tan. I just got in here, and my entire body is red." I nodded.

"I mean." She wrapped her arms around my neck. "You can get out if you want."

"No." I shook my head and put my hands around her waist. "No I'm good." I nodded.

She pulled me in and kissed me.

You know, I never really realized how small her hands were until she wrapped one around it.

I don't know if it's because it's been a month since we've had sex, but the minute she started moving her and up and down it, I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Ol." I pulled away. "We're not having sex in the shower." I shook my head.

"And no one said we were." She smiled and kissed my neck.

I had to literally put my hand on the wall to keep my balance as she made her way from my neck down to my chest, and then my stomach.

It's like I'm in a daze as she drops down to her knees and kisses my hips. I didn't even drink and I feel drunk. Not even drunk. More like that one time I ate an edible and drank an entire bottle of fireball. Crossfaded.

I don't think I've ever been this close to nutting just by a hand and a few simple kisses.

"Olivia." I shook my head.

Honestly I can't tell if it's a warning for her to stop, or me begging her to finally do something before I die.

The minute she put her mouth on and slid it in her mouth I swear to god I saw stars.

I'm lost as she pulls her mouth off and slides it back on, slowly.

I think she's trying to kill me.

It's taking everything in me to not pin her against a shower wall.

It's almost too much, the heat, the sucking, the water burning my skin only adding to how sensitive I am right now.

"Ol please go faster." I let out with a deep breath and looked down.

The next thing I know, she's looking back up at me, straight in my eyes, and smiles. Then, she starts going even slower.

"Olivia." I groaned. "Please."

And with it still in her mouth and a smile on her face, this girl says two simple words. The two words that started this whole thing between her and I. "Make me."

I feel him coming back. The Mason who just wants to get off and make someone else scream my name.

Damn it, no.

I meant what I said. No man-handling, slow back in to it.

Yeah, that all flew out the window when she slowly circled her tongue around the tip and and sucked just that.

The old Mason reared his head in, grabbed her by her hair, and I literally, fucked her mouth. Taking long deep pulls of my dick, choking, gagging, holding my hips and not letting me back out of her mouth.

How could I forget how amazing her mouth actually felt.

I looked down at her again, smiling while she choked as I pushed it in deeper.

I'm gone.

For the first time since we've been together, I spill in to her mouth, nearly collapse to the point where I have to let go over her hair and palm the wall again.

This girl swallowed me whole while looking me dead in my eyes the entire time.

Fuck she's hot.

I couldn't help it.

I reached down, grabbed her hand, pulled her to her feet, pinned her against the shower wall, and I kissed her. Hard. Shoving my tongue in her mouth, circling hers with mine as I lifted her to wrap her legs around my waist.

I reached over, turned the shower off, carried her out of the shower.

"You want rough?" I kissed her neck and walked in to my room.

She nodded. "Please." She threw her head back.

"You've got it." I threw her down on my bed and crawled on top of her.

I don't know what happened, it's like the devil took over my body as I shoved my tongue in her mouth again then pulled at her lower lip with my teeth.

She ran her fingers through my hair and pulled it, hard.

"Fuck." I let slip through my lips as I kissed down her neck.

I slide my hands across her chest and squeeze, and she finally lets my name come out of her mouth.

I've never really done much with her chest other than squeeze and rub. Clearly she likes that, but since she pushed me over the edge, I'm going to do the same.

I kissed my way down from her neck, planting sweet kisses on every inch of skin on my way down, and when I circled my lips around one of her nipples, she gasped so loudly I thought it would wake my parents up, and they're clear in the valley.

Circling my tongue around it though, brought it to a whole new level of loud.

"Oh my god." She threw her head back and literally held me there as I pulled one in to my mouth.

She's a drug. She's like crack because now that I've started, I can't stop. She feels fucking amazing and with whatever she's wearing on her skin, lotion, perfume whatever it is, she tastes even better.

Her legs start shifting under mine as I slide my hands down her stomach and between her thighs.

I don't think I've ever felt her this wet before.

She doesn't even try to hide her face anymore as I pull away and start circling that sweet, sensitive spot that makes her shake and arch underneath me.

The way she bites her bottom lip to try to keep quiet. But no ones home, there's no need to be quiet.

That quickly ends as I slide a finger inside of her.

"Fuck." Her eyes shoot open, and the minute they do, I lean down and kiss her again.

This time as I make my way down her body, I don't stop at her chest. I work my way all the way down to my fingers, positioning myself between her thighs.

I kiss each of her thighs, gradually making my way to the middle, and as soon as I plant the simplest kiss, she grabs my hair and holds me captive against her, quiet moans escaping from her lips.

I lick and search every single spot, sliding my finger in and out, dying to get her off.

"Oh god." She moans as I speed up my finger and adding another.

I pull away slightly to watch exactly how she's reacting. The way she moves, the shaking of her body, the way her body's getting flushed.

I lean back down and flick my tongue against her again and again. Switching between sucking and licking.

She's got her hands in my hair again. Tugging, pulling harder when I start going faster.

"Mason." Her back starts to lift off the bed. "I'm gonna-"

"Yes." I start going faster. "I want it." I bury my face, pressing harder with my tongue and moving my fingers, wiggling them inside her.

"Fuck." Her back lifts more. "Fuck. Fuck." Her body starts shaking more. "Mason, yes." She pulls my hair harder. "Yes!" She yelled, her back falling against the bed.

My fingers and mouth slow as I make my way back up her body.

I can't move. I think that coming that hard may have paralyzed me.

He makes his way back up my body, and kisses me hard.

"Are you feeling OK?" He asks between kisses.

I nod, not being able to control my breathing.

"We can stop right there Ol." He nodded. "That may be enough for tonight." He kisses again.

"Hell no. Not stopping there." I shook my head.

"Ol are you sure? Your stomachs feeling-"

"Baby please." I let out a light moan as he kissed my neck.

"Oh my god say it again." He moved back up to my mouth.

"Baby please." I say between kisses

He pulled away and reached in to his night stand.

I'm not going to lie, my stomach is feeling a tiny bit tender, but I've had sex with worse pain. Oh god I want it.

After not getting it for a month, I want it so bad.

I watch him sit himself up on his knees and roll the condom on. I'm not stupid, I know he's trying to hold back because he's worried I'm not OK.

But I'm fine, and I can tell he wants it because of the pained expression on his face when he grips his base and slide slowly, carefully pushes inside of me.

"Fuck." He threw his head back and leaned down on his forearms. He paused once he was fully inside me. "Are you OK?"

I nod slowly, unable to speak again.

He starts thrusting slowly, moving one of his hands down to my side, the one that didn't have staples jammed in to it, while still leaning on his forearm with the other, he leans down and kisses me.

The feeling that was not so pleasant suddenly changes to a need for him to go faster as I hear him start cursing under his breath.

I grab his back and dig my nails in.

"Oh my god Ol." He groaned and started moving faster.

"Mason harder." I moaned between deep breaths.

"Are you sure?" He pulled away and looked down at me.

"Please." I nodded and threw my head back.

"Whatever you want." He sat up on his knees. He lifted one of my legs up on to his shoulder, reached down with the hand that was not on my waist, and started circling the most sensitive part of my body with his thumb.

"Oh my god." I yelled as he started literally slamming so deep inside me that I couldn't even fathom the feeling that's starting to cut through me.

"Olivia, fuck." He moaned as he dropped down on my body with my leg still on his shoulder.

The harder he went, the more speed picked up with each and every move until I was shaking uncontrollably. Screaming, pulling his hair, clawing at his back hard enough to break skin.

"Mason." My back started coming off the bed again. "Mason!" I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Fuck! Fuck Mason yes!" I screamed.

"Fuck!" He yelled as his movements became sporadic. "God!" He threw his head back. "Damn it. Fuck!" He pulled out of me and completely collapsed on top of me.

Him running his hands up and down my body. Me running my fingers through his hair.

15 minutes of both of us trying to control our bodies and breathing later, I finally plucked the words from deep inside of me, and all that came out was. "So much for slow."

He lifted his head and just smiled. "Baby, you make me crazy." He shook his head, crawled up my body, and kissed me.

"I've missed you." I sighed between kisses.

"I love you." He kissed me again.

"I know." I pulled the kiss deeper.

I know Mason.

And then that scared feeling came back.

I do too.