《the sincerity taehyung couldn't deliver.||COMPLETED》|37| - the sincerity taehyung couldn't deliver pt.2
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"You told him, didn't you?" a soft voice of his hyung sounds.
He only nods, head still buried between his knees as he cries on the floor.
"He needed to know," Yoongi whispers, hand brushing through younger's hair.
Taehyung stays silent for the next hour, only soft sobs escaping. He couldn't get the sight of Jeongguk out of his head. The tears that started to roll down his face in a matter of a few seconds.
He broke him again.
Jeongguk didn't say a thing, he only stared at him for a while, eyes so hurt that it broke Taehyung all over again too.
Jeongguk ran away again. And Taehyung was left behind again.
It seemed way too similar to that one night almost two years ago.
The worst day of their life.
Jimin ran after the youngest, taking the car and following Jeongguk's car all the way back to the town.
The rest of the hyungs stayed with Taehyung and tried to comfort him. They all knew. They knew Taehyung would have to tell the truth sooner or later. And if he wouldn't have wanted to, they would have to do it instead of him.
Because no lie can be kept forever.
It's 3 am when Taehyung's sitting at the balcony again. Just like all those years, his head's full of the boy with starry eyes.
He thinks about the sound of his voice, the sight of his beautiful smile, the way his eyes sparkle whenever he's happy...
He knows everything about Jeongguk. The Jeongguk who used to be but is no longer his.
Taehyung doesn't even notice when his tears start to escape again until one of them lands on his hand.
The more breaths he takes, the more his heart breaks as he's reminded that he's alive and this is happening for real.
As the first tear breaks free, the rest follow like a rainstorm. He pulls his knees to his face, feeling his hands shaking; no, his whole body is.
His phone rings.
He takes it from the floor by his side and his heart clutches as he sees the name on the screen.
It's Jeongguk.
With shaky hands, he presses the accept button and brings the phone to his ear.
"Jeongguk?" his weak voice speaks into the device.
The other takes a deep breath.
"I need to know the whole truth."
"Jeongguk, are you sure you want to know? You may not like it...I don't want to get between you and-" Taehyung tries to find a way to run away from it but Jeongguk closes all the ways out.
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"I am, go on."
"Before I start I need to tell you how deeply sorry I am..."
Jeongguk stays silent for a moment.
"...okay."
"So when you went on tour I missed you like crazy and couldn't wait until I'd be in your arms again..."
Jeongguk hums.
"I would mostly stay alone in our apartment but the time just went so slowly there and it made me miss you even more. I started to go out with hyungs and one time when I was with Bogum, your manager bumped into us and started saying stuff like 'Jeon would be so disappointed if he knew what you're doing when he's not home' and it made me feel so guilty."
Taehyung hears a muffled sob from the other side, making his heart hurt even more but forced himself to continue.
"You know I called you everytime I got the chance and you always mentioned your mum and how she's not doing well and that you need to work more to be able to help her with her treatment."
"Get to the point, hyung," Jeongguk's weak voice sounds.
"I am so sorry Ggukie," he mumbles to himself before continuing.
"You know your manager never liked the fact that we were together because he always thought I was just a distraction. He came to me with a deal," he sobs into the phone, taking a while to take deep breaths to be able to continue.
"What deal Taehyung?"
"He said he'd be able to make you a worldwide star and that he'll pay for your mother's treatment..."
"Taehyung..." Jeongguk sobs again.
It all suddenly made sense.
"...if I ended our relationship."
It hurts. It hurts so much but Jeongguk deserves to know the truth.
"He promised he'd save her. I was supposed to break up with you the day after you came back from your tour but he did it his way when I wasn't ready yet."
Jeongguk speaks up shakily.
"So you...never cheated on me?"
"I am so sorry, Jeongguk. For not finding a different way to help you but getting us into this huge mess instead. I am so so sorry."
"Taehyung, I don't know what to say..."
"It's okay, Ggukie. I am not asking you to forgive me, or get back to me. I just wanted you to know the truth."
Jeongguk sighs.
"I have forgiven you a long time ago, Tae..."
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Taehyung is now the one to sob, warm tears rolling down his face.
"Fuck, baby. I don't know what to say. This is everything I ever wanted to hear. I refused to believe you'd ever do that to me," he gulps.
"Tae, I am so sorry, it must have been really hard for you."
"It's okay, Ggukie. It wasn't your fault."
"Goddamit, Tae, I love you so much. I will always love you but..."
"But you are with Jiae. Ggukie, I know."
"Yeah, I am with Jiae. I love her, I don't want to hurt her too."
Taehyung knew this. He expected this. Jeongguk was getting married, he knew he wouldn't just abandon his fiancee and come back to him but maybe he hoped that...
"It's okay, I understand. I am glad she makes you happy, you deserve all the happiness in this world, Ggukie."
"Tae..."
"No, Gguk, don't...Let's not complicate things even more. We've both gone through hell. We're still friends, let's leave this to it."
"Okay...I am glad you told me. Take care, Tae."
"You too, Jeongguk."
And with that Taehyung forces himself to end the call.
He knew.
Jeongguk finally knew the truth but it didn't make him feel any better. He knows he's so selfish for hoping he'd get him back if he knew the truth. But there he is, alone again, the Jeongguk he used to call his miles apart.
Tears roll down his cheeks uncontrollably, he doesn't even try to stop them anymore, there's no point.
He told him the truth, however, there's still something unspoken hanging in the air.
He wipes his tears and takes the courage to send the text.
Wiping away his tears, he takes a hold of the necklace he's been wearing for so long, hidden under his collar.
His fingers play with the two purple diamond rings hanging on the red sting. The same rings he had inside his back pocket the day Jeongguk came back from tour. He thought he still had enough time back then.
He thought they still had enough time.
They burn his skin.
He wanted to marry me too.
Taehyung looks up at the sky, knowing that him and his love are looking at the same sky, the same moon and all the stars.
Maybe some of those are them from their past life where they ended up happily together; grew older by each other's side, drowning in love till the end of their life.
"He knows, doesn't he?" Yoongi's voice sounds from behind Taehyung, carrying him away from his thoughts.
He only nods, eyes never leaving the sky as his whole body starts shaking.
"How are you?" the older asks, sitting down next to Tae and caressing his back.
"It hurts. It still hurts," he says between his tears.
"Of course it does," Yoongi smiles sadly.
"The hurt is how you know it's love. I am sure he's hurting too."
"...And when does it stop?" he looks at him with teary eyes.
With eyes dark like a cloud before rain, he replies.
"If it was love, it won't."
Taehyung only nods before burying his head between his knees again.
"Head up, Tae. The stars are holding something for you in the future."
Taehyung brings his head up, looking at all those stars that are shining brightly at him.
Just then he realises his grandmother was right all those years ago.
"Sometimes you don't grow old with your first love. Sometimes you find love where you expect it the least. It's destiny, Kim Taehyung. You will end up with the one you're destined to end up with."
And he knows she was right. Because not every story has a happy ending. And not all the people get the happy ending they expected, no matter how many times they wished they would.
Some people don't end up together even if it feels right to end up together.
And Taehyung knows he has to let it all go, and it hurts the most.
He has to let it go.
The way he kissed him.
The way he smelled.
The way he smiled.
The way he touched his waist and pulled him in.
The way he made him feel like no one else ever could.
Because after all, that's the path he himself chose for them.
And that's what true love is. Always wanting what's best for someone, even if that doesn't include you.
My mum once said that in every relationship, one loves more. In this one, Taehyung loved Jeongguk with everything he had. He loved him enough to let him go.
With teary eyes and blurry vision, Taehyung watches the stars above his head and smiles.
Jeongguk isn't happy yet. But he will be. He knows he will be happy at some other place, with somebody else.
And that's enough for Taehyung to be happy too. Alone.
✨✨✨
"maybe when the time is right
you will find me again."
_______
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