Quiet.

They have been sitting in silence for a few minutes now. None of them dared to speak since Taehyung sat next to the younger. And maybe that was what they both needed. Silence.

A little moment of silence in a rushed world like theirs.

They could see it right in front of them, the rooftop allowed them to see a wide part of the city. A city which fell into the night. The clocks were already showing 3 AM, but the city never sleeps.

All those trumps of the rushing cars on the streets and the music coming from one of the bars not far from them, yet the two of them were engulfed in silence. They had nowhere to rush.

They were gifted with probably the most beautiful view anyone could get in the whole city, but Taehyung's favourite was right beside him.

My eyes are always on you. I love you.

He remembered the words he said not only once, and he was sure Jeongguk did too.

The sky full of stars yet his eyes were on him. On him only.

He watched the way all the city lights brightly sparkled inside Jeongguk's eyes with so much adoration, seeing how they reflect the beautiful scenery. He was once again reminded how the younger's eyes always used to shine like this.

But that was before.

Just when it started to seem like there would be no spoken words between them, the melody of Jeongguk's voice broke the silence.

"I forgive you."

He turns to look at him, finally for the first time, but Taehyung quickly looks away, guilt eating him up from inside.

But he'll never forgive himself.

"Why?" he doesn't look at him, not wanting him too see how his eyes already started to glitter with tears.

Jeongguk sighs.

"It's been too long. I can't be mad at you forever. I don't want to."

Taehyung dries his tears with the paws of his sweater, his long messy hair covering his face, not allowing Jeongguk to see his messed up state. But he knows, from the soft tone of his voice and the shaky breaths, he knows.

"I don't deserve it," the older lets out, voice weak.

Jeongguk only watches him, watches the way his crystal tears sparkle in the air before falling on the dark material of Taehyung's pants. The tears of the one he loved. There were more and more of them every second that passed and Jeongguk's heart started to ache.

"You did. You did the most of all."

Taehyung doesn't say a word, only sniffles, still trying to keep his face hidden from the other boy.

"Tae...Look at me," he calls for him softly, lifting his chin up to make him look at him.

"You weren't just my boyfriend. You were my best friend for more than half of my life."

"What do you want from me?" Taehyung finally dares to speak up. He looks up, not caring about the tears from before that are slowly running down his cheeks as he stares into the well-known pair of starry eyes. His most favourite in the whole universe.

"Nothing. I just don't want to live a life without you in it." And with those words, he leaves the older boy alone.

"But I'll never forgive myself for losing you," Taehyung says, but there's no one to hear.

—💫—

And I know

All of your warmth is real

The blue flower your hand was picking

I want to hold it but

It's my fate

Don't smile to me

Lie to me

Because I can't get closer to you

There's no name you can call me

You know that I can't

Show you me

Give you me

I can't show you a ruined part of myself

Once again I put a mask on and go to see you

But I still want you

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness

A flower that resembles you

I wanted to give it to you

After I take off this foolish mask

But I know

I can't do that forever

I have to hide

Because I'm a monster

I am afraid

I am shattered

I'm so afraid

That you will leave me again in the end

Once again I put on a mask and go to see you

The only thing I can do

In the garden

In this world

Is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you

And to breathe as the me that you know

But I still want you

I still want you

Maybe back then

A little

Just this much

If I had the courage to stand before you

Would everything be different now

I'm crying

That's disappeared

That's fallen

Left alone in this sandcastle

Looking at this broken mask

And I still want you...

—💫—