Day 143...

(4,5 months)

Day 172

Almost half a year since they broke up...

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even without fists held high

Never would have worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hurt you now

I can't stop

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

Someone's gotta go

And I want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you wanna cry

Started with a perfect kiss

Then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

Cold, as you turn off the lights

And memories start floating around

You're doubting yourself

And you're tired of not being strong

It hurts to be all on your own

But you'll just have to wait

Cause time's running fast

And it calms you to know it won't last

It's easy to say

It'll all be okay

But that's not always the way

It goes

So slow down

And you'll be okay

Torn and lost once again

You start to believe it won't end

And still you're alone

With the fear that you're forever unknown

You cannot understand

Why you're always the one that gets hurt

Life's unfair but it pulls you back

in when you're almost gone

A note you wrote upon the shelf

The frozen air in Silverdale

My heart was breaking by the shore

And I couldn't give you anymore

And I'm still shaking and crawling back again

I'm sorry that I let you go, I'm sorry that I cared

I'm sorry that the feeling shows and I just wasn't there

I'm reminded of the fool I was

I cut you off and fucked it up again

This pillow case smells of you

And time itself stops to prove

And for a moment, nothing changed

And everything stays the same

And I'm still shaking and crawling back again

I left the light on so you could see me in the dark

But then it blinded us and left us who we are

Hush now, you don't know how

i would sacrifice my world for you

hush now, let it all fall out

you'll be right as rain onto

and i heard you crying so quietly

and i heard you crying, won't you cry on me?

oh, let me just hold you now all your life

when i heard you crying so quietly, last night

rest here, bring your head near

i won't find your fears inside these arms

rest here, on my shoulder, dear

i won't come for you frown all the harm

sleep by me

this bird i see shouldn't we

just be safe, be brave

sweet you dream

all the night may seem

so cold, be bold for me

Day breaks and when I turn

You're not on my pillow

My head shakes and then the penny drops

Still your t-shirt on my chair

Pencilled hearts on paper

I try not to think but I can't stop

And doubt sets in like a storm

I wish i could feel it coming

And words echo out yesterday

Time pushed me to the edge

The jump was my decision

I've only got myself to blame

'Cause I have no right to love you

When I chose to walk away

I have no right to miss you

When I didn't wanna stay

And I have no right to need you

And I knew what my heart was gonna lose

I have no right to love you

But I do, I still do

Yeah, I still do

Night falls, I'm wide awake

Wishing I could call you

I'm too used to hearing all about your day

The cold creeps up next to me

Now we don't share these covers

But I've no license to complain

'Cause I have no right to love you

And I have no right to need you

When I knew what my heart was gonna lose

I have no right to love you

But I do, I still do

You know I care, but I can't be there

To make this unmade bed of roses

And you deserve to be put first

I had to let you go

Stone cold, stone cold

You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor

Stone cold, stone cold

Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore

God knows I tried to feel

Happy for you

Know that I am, even if I

Can't understand, I'll take the pain

Give me the truth, me and my heart

We'll make it through

If happy is her, I'm happy for you

You're dancing with her, while I'm staring at my phone

I was your amber, but now she's your shade of gold

God knows I tried to feel

Happy for you

If happy is her, I'm happy for you

Don't wanna be stone cold

I wish I could mean this but here's my goodbye

Oh, I'm happy for you

Know that I am, even if I

Can't understand

If happy is her, if happy is her

I'm happy for you

—💫—