I sat in the chair on the balcony smoking while stalking Suhan from my burner account.

Her ass was turning into something that I ain't ever seen before.

"Baby, what you doing?"Brianna said as she walked out here and I hit the power button on my phone.

"Chillin"I said while looking back at her as she stood behind me rubbing my chest.

"You not gonna eat dinner?"she asked me as she walked around the chair and straddled my lap.

"Nah not tonight"

"Why not?"

"I ain't hungry"

"For the first time in fucking forever!"she said while laughing and I chuckled.

I looked at the cars passing by while hitting my blunt every once in a while.

"Trell what's wrong with you?"

"Ain't none wrong"

"Something's wrong, you've been very very low these past two weeks"

"I have?"I asked her as I scrunched my face up.

"Um yes"

"Nah I'm straight"

"Okay oh well let's ta—"she said while reaching for my phone and I grabbed it.

Somehow it unlocked on it's on without a nigga even putting my face up to it.

"You still love her?"she asked me as she looking at Suhan's picture that was on my phone.

I guess I took to long to answer her and she got up while crying.

I ain't even get up to stop her, I just let her walk.

"Lontrell just be honest with me, do you still love her!?"she said while coming back outside after doing whatever she had to do.

"Ye-yea"I said while looking up at the sky as I blew smoke outta my mouth.

"Okay"she said after sighing.

I listened as she left out of the room all the way until she got into her car and pulled off.

She'll be back but ain't no telling if our relationship gone go on though.

I honestly ain't tripping though.

I'm still trynna get my shit together and get help myself that's one of the reasons I'm going to therapy now.

Not only am I doing this for me but I'm also doing it to save my relationship with Suhan.

We got a family together, I ain't trynna fuck up no more.

"Hey mama"I said while walking in my parent's house to pick up my kiddos.

"Hi Suhan, you okay!?"

"Yea why?"I asked while scrunching up my face.

"I'm not even gone lie to you, I'm very disappointed in you!"she said while heading to the kitchen and I followed her.

"Disappointed in me, why?"I asked her as I sat in the bar stool.

"You haven't been taking good care of yourself, picking up the kids late, you getting into it with everybody close to you, and you ain't been acting like the damn daughter that I raised!"

I put my hand on my forehead and sighed.

"Mama how you know I haven't been taking care of myself?"

"Look at you, you look a hot mess!"

"Mama it's eleven o'clock at night! How else am I not taking good care of myself!?"

"Suhan you look like this on a daily basis no—"

"Oh wow, just because you seen me look like this for two days!?"

"You're damn right and you need too lay off on that damn liquor cause it ain't doing you no good either!"

"Okay mom!!!"I yelled over her.

"Have you apologized to Cali?"

"What I need to apologize to her for?"

"One because you as her friend, we're wrong and two Cali, Shiesty, Tomi, Khalick, Amir, Aaliyah, Andre, your dad, and I are all planning on getting you some damn help! You need it honestly!"

"Help!? Help!? I need help!?"I yelled as tears began to role down my face.

"Yes you do, yes you do"

"I don't need help, y'all need fucking help! Y'all need help for thinking I need help! I'm good and I'll forever be good! I'm just trynna have fun and live my fucking life because once I'm up outta this bitch it ain't gone be no—You know what fuck all of y'all seriously! I've had enough! Fuck you, fuck dad, fuck Cali, fuck Shiesty, fuck Tomiya, fuck all of y'all!!"I yelled before grabbing my keys and getting up then storming out of her house.

"You're gonna regret this Suhan you're gonna regret it, but I'll pray for you!!"my mama yelled while crying herself as she followed me.

When I went to my car I got in and just drove until there was no more road.