Rylee woke up feeling off. Her left arm was sore and she had a killer headache. She rolled out of bed delicately and padded her way to the bathroom popping a few ibuprofen.

She was more confused about her arm. She couldn't remember running into anything...and there wasn't a bruise. She touched it lightly, feeling around for any soreness and that's when her heart sank to her toes.

She couldn't feel her birth control implant. It was placed inside her upper arm and was to remain there for around three years according to her doctor. But, she couldn't feel it. She poked around a little bit more, practically making it sore herself from the prodding, but she still couldn't find it.

She pulled down the lid of the toilet and sat down, trying to stem her panic, but of course she went right to google to try to find some kind of solution. Implant migration being the first hit from her search, a webMD result that she clicked on and skimmed.

'Implant migration.' It was very rare but possible. This was when the implant may have been inserted improperly and the piece could drift through the body. She read further down the article and even clicked into a few others just to be sure.

They all suggested going to your doctor immediately as the implant could potentially end up lodged in other areas such as veins or your lungs. She had to close out all her searches so she didn't start spiraling into panic mode.

She gently poked and prodded at her arm again, just to make sure and, unsurprised, she still couldn't feel it. She quickly called her doctor and got an appointment for 2 o'clock that afternoon. She had three hours to kill, trying not to be nervous or lose her mind thinking too hard about it.

Her next thought was to call Sebastian. She was trying not to panic, and she hoped he'd be able to help. Her hands were shaking as she called him, bouncing her leg as she sat on the covered toilet, trying to get any of her feelings out any way she could.

The phone rang through 4...5...6 times before his voicemail answered.

"Hi, you've reached Sebastian, pleas—"

Rylee ended the call and quickly stood up, making her way downstairs to the living room and laid on the couch. It'll be fine. I will be fine. It's all gonna be fi—

Her phone rang in her hand, causing her to jump. Sebastian's face filled the screen and she immediately answered.

"Hey."

"Hey, sorry I couldn't get to my phone fast enough before the voicemail picked up. What's up?"

Rylee couldn't think of anything else so she got straight to the point, "I, um, I can't find my implant."

"That's...weird? I didn't think it could move?"

"Apparently it's rare but possible. And I was looking it up and if it gets lost it could end up in your lungs...or your heart..or—"

"Ryles. It'll be okay." Sebastian stated rather quickly, hearing the breathlessness in her voice. He could tell that she was really deep in her thoughts over it and tried to help bring her back.

Rylee stopped herself, clenching her hand, her nails digging into her palm. She nodded but realized he couldn't see her, "yeah.....yeah it'll be fine."

"Did you call the doctor?"

"Yeah...I have an appointment for 2."

"Okay...just...don't go googling it anymore..okay? No need to add to your stress, right?"

"Right." Rylees hands still shook slightly, but she had at least unclenched her fist.

"Other than not being able to feel it, do you feel okay?"

"My arms sore...and I have a headache. And I'm kind of nauseated...but that could be because of nerves."

"Alright. Well that's not terrible huh? Could be worse right?"

"Yeah."

There was a quiet pause between the two.

"I wish I was there...I'm sorry I'm not."

"Nothing to be sorry over. You wouldn't be able to do anything even if you were here."

"But still...I hate when you've got to deal with stuff alone."

"It'll be fine. I'll be fine. Everything will be fine." Rylee said into the phone, but she realized she may have just been saying it for herself.

"Right. Well if it makes you feel any better, this morning I got poked in the eye with eyeliner." Sebastian huffed out, trying to calm Rylee's nerves and distract her.

"Ohhh no! That's the worst!" She could feel herself take a real solid breath for the first time in a few minutes as she huffed a laugh at his statement, running her fingers through her hair loosely.

"Yeah it wasn't great," Sebastian laughed as well, "Becky felt so bad though. You would've swore with how she was apologizing that she had like..kicked a puppy or something."

"Stabbing your self in the eye with one of those is rough enough, I can't imagine doing it to someone else."

"And yet I survive another day," Sebastian joked.

They talked for a few more minutes before Sebastian had to go back to set, but she was glad they had the chance to talk. It helped quiet her thoughts and calm her nerves.

———————————

Two o'clock rolled around and Rylee was sitting in the waiting room at the doctors office. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her again. She started picking at her cuticles, while she waited.

"Rylee?" A nurse said, poking her head out of a doorway across the room.

Rylee stood up, and walked towards her, both sharing quick generic hellos as they made their way down the hall to an examination room, her sneakers occasionally squeaking across the laminate flooring.

The nurse went through her usual routine, blood pressure, oxygen levels, the whole spiel. She quickly left and Rylee was left alone yet again.

Rylee had to physically stop herself from continuing to mess with her fingers, attempting to still bury her panic and shot nerves, so she shoved her hands between her knees and chose to glimpse around the room, wondering about the decor. But as she did so, she lost herself in her thoughts.

There was a single canvas painting on the wall. The frame a deep blue hue. The painting itself was a picture of the open ocean, heavy with rolling, crashing waves, the sky above, a deep, dark blue-gray mix. She couldn't tell if it was supposed to make it seem like dusk, or as if a storm was coming through.

But a storm filled, rushing, raging ocean shouldn't be in a doctors office should it? That seems very ominous. What if it was symbolic for the shit she was dealing with and the nurse just knew it? So she picked this room on purpose?

Maybe the nurse knew she was metaphorically drowning in her thoughts and emotions so she would connect to it- . What is wrong with you? It's a fucking painting they probably got out of someone's garage.

Luckily as her thought had ended, Dr. Williams knocked and walked through the door, taking a seat on the wobbly stool beside the computer.

"Hi Rylee, how's it been going?" Dr. Williams asked as she began tapping away at her keyboard.

Rylee always thought this question was so bizarre. Like. If things were going okay, why would I be here?

"Okay I guess."

"So, Molly told me you're concerned because you can't find your birth control implant is that right?"

Rylee nodded and offered out her arm as Dr. Williams rolled over towards her to see. She gently poked and prodded at her arm in various different places.

"Well, yep. It's definitely not where we left it. Let's go get you set up with an X-ray so we can find it and take it out, shall we?"

Rylee nodded as the doctor led her down the hall to the X-ray lab where she was left with the X-ray technician as Dr. Williams went back down the hall to see another patient.

Rylee spent twenty or so minutes getting the X-rays taken and being led back up to her original examination room, where she waited for another 15 agonizing minutes with that damn ocean painting. Her anxiety was beginning to get the best of her when Dr. Williams returned with her X-rays in hand.

"Alrighty, Rylee. Good news. We found the little bugger." She slid the X-ray into the back lit plates on the wall of her upper and lower left arm. There was a small dark cylindrical spot in the X-ray of her forearm.

Rylee let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. The implant definitely wasn't where it was originally placed but at least they found it.

After she pointed out the different spots on the X-rays, Dr. Williams explained what they would do next. They would numb her arm and remove the implant,

Dr. Williams started typing something into the computer and asked, "Would you like us to put a new one back in today while you're here?

"No." Rylee said very quickly. She paused afterwards, thinking for a moment of something to say that didn't sound so harsh, "I mean, at least not right now."

"Okay. I also need to make you aware that this isn't quite like birth control pills. If you discontinue most pills, becoming pregnant usually takes a few months because the body is still adjusting to the hormone changes. But when we remove this implant, pregnancy can occur at any time if other back up forms of contraception aren't used."

Rylee nodded in understanding.

Dr. Williams nodded as well and left the room briefly to get the supplies needed as well as available nurses to provide assistance in the removal.

Rylee took this quiet moment to text Sebastian and give him an update.

❤️

Hey, I got some X-rays done and they found it.

I'm going to get it taken out in a couple minutes.

He didn't respond before Dr. Williams returned, but she figured he was probably back on set.

"Alright, are you ready, Rylee?" Dr. Williams asked as she set out their supplies and pulled out the flat arm extension from the side of the table.

Rylee nodded, hopping up onto the examination table and laying her left arm out against the extended portion.

"So, first we'll give you some local anesthetic to numb your arm and then make a small incision right here," the doctor traced out an inch long spot along her forearm with a small marker, "and then we'll get this guy out. I know having this happen can seem very scary, especially with how rare it is, but are you sure you don't want to have a new one put in?"

Rylee barely missed a beat, "No...no. At least..not right now."

The doctor nodded, "Ready then?"

Rylee nodded back as the doctor inserted the numbing shot, giving Rylee a small pinch, but that was it. A minute or so later, it was like she didn't have half a left arm, it felt so bizarre.

When the doctor leaned over with her scalpel, Rylee's brain was completely befuddled. She felt like she should be pulling away but when the scalpel touched to her skin, she didn't feel a thing. The next thing she knew, the doctor was using a pair of forceps to pull the small matchstick sized tube from her arm, and placing it in the small metal receptacle next to her with a small clink.

The doctor placed two stitches to close the cut she had created and the procedure was done. Quick and simple.

The doctor explained how to care for the stitches over the next week as they eventually dissolve. And if she decided to have another implant put into give them a call, or else they could give her information about other birth control methods.

Rylee thanked Dr. Williams and was led out to the reception desk to sign some paperwork.

That simple. This thing that had worried her all morning was gone. Soon enough she was heading out the door and onto the busy New York streets.

She decided to walk home and take in the warm June sun, eventually making a pit stop at Round Corner Cafe for a quick coffee for the rest of her walk home.

As she continued walking down the street, about a block from her destination, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out to see that Sebastian had texted her back.

😍

That's good, I'm glad.

Did everything go alright?

Rylee just decided to call him instead of texting, hoping he was still near his phone.

The line only rang once and Sebastian's voice was immediately on the other end.

"Hey, you. How'd everything go?"

Rylee told him it went well and explained everything that happened in the last hour.

"Well, that all seems simple enough. Did you decide to get a new one or?"

"No. At least not yet."

"That's fine. There's other, yah know, ways to go about it."

Rylee tried not to chuckle at Sebastian's awkwardness talking about contraceptives. He's usually so poised with his words. It's like he was a teenage boy in a high school health class.

"Yeah, we'll sort it out."

"Ugh, shit. They're calling me back, I've gotta go. I'll call you on lunch though?"

"Sounds good, love you."

"Love you too baby, bye."

Once she hung up, she was already outside their apartment door, fiddling with her keys, and heading inside. She plopped back onto the couch, gently laying her fingers on her bandaged arm.

She wasn't sure what to do with the rest of her day, so she decided a nap would do.