《Dear Crush! | A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction |》Intimacy
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"I'll set up the picnic, y'all go fly some kites or something," Zoe chuckled, dragging Alana along with her to set up the picnic. She then quietly went up to Jared and asked him to accompany the two.
"As if it isn't already super awkward already," Jared added hurriedly, already capable of predicting the awkward tension between the two. Telling him to get between the two will only make the whole situation more unbearable. It was honestly quite hypocritical for him to be complaining, he quickly realised.
Zoe shoved him towards the direction of Evan and Connor, already ignoring what he had been trying to say and returned to setting up the picnic for all of them. Jared could only mutter quietly, begrudgingly dragging his feet along the grass, listening to the loud rustling of the foliage under his feet as he made his way towards the two.
As he grumbled, he noticed the pitiful state they were in. They had been standing only a few feet away from each other. They both glanced away, obvious blushes on their face. Evan was furiously gripping onto the hem of his shirt, unable to muster a single glance at Connor. Connor was giving quick and subtle glances towards Evan, smiling to himself a bit more each time.
Jared sighed, genuinely feeling tired from their obvious display of emotion. He reached into the bag of items, reached in for two sets of the store bought kites and ran over to their sides.
Evan heard the sound of grass shuffling from behind, and immediately turned around. Jared could see the look of relief in Evan's eyes as Jared waltz over, almost ecstatic to have Jared as his way out of this awkward situation he somehow trapped himself in. Connor looked away from them, both a little upset and relieved that Jared had intervened their little glance fest. Evan quickly sprinted towards to Jared, meeting him halfway. Jared then put on his smile, shoving one of the kite sets towards Evan and pressing it against his arms.
"Alright, we're gonna play with kites," Jared yelled out, almost exaggerated to prove to Zoe that he had been following what she said, "you okay with that, Murphy?"
Connor simply nodded, even though he felt that this specific activity was a little strange for a group picnic of seventeen to eighteen year olds. Not that he had been complaining. He hasn't flown a kite with his family for such a long time, not since he had distanced himself from them. It was honestly quite a refreshing start to fly one again.
He glanced over and noticed that Evan had been beaming with excitement. His hands curled themselves around the plastic covering of the set, admiring with a sense of childish exhilaration. His lips could not help but curl upwards, breaking into a wide grin. If it weren't for the fact that Connor and Jared had been there, Evan might have started jumping up and down. Evan's eyes scanned the kite in his hands, and then up to Connor. Connor could vividly see how elated Evan had been about flying the kite, which infected him with happiness.
Together, they all walked back to the picnic area where the cloth had been laid out. Evan had been quick to kneel on the cloth, tugging at the plastic cover. Jared and Connor stood beside him, glancing down at what he attempted to do. He pulled out the folded kite, gently spreading it out to its diamond shape. As expected of Evan, he found himself a dim blue kite. He then stopped doing anything, sort of glancing back at Connor and then at the kite.
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Connor felt so compelled to squeeze Evan's cheeks after that display, but he quickly kneeled down onto the picnic cloth and held onto the spreaders that laid on the kite. He then instructed Evan on how to place the spreaders in place and how to tie the string to the kite, promptly showing Evan how the kite should be flown and how he should hold the string. Jared watched, forcibly trying not to groan in mock disgust.
Zoe would occasionally glance over her shoulders, giggling and giving Jared a thumbs up as Jared returned the favour by flipping the bird. Zoe returned to finishing her task ; setting up the hammock by tying both ends to the trees. Alana had been helping her, finding a tree that had been close enough to tie the other end to.
"Do you think that they can get back together...?" Zoe muttered, talking to both herself and Alana as she began doubting that this picnic would help them, "I don't know, I don't think they can even properly look at each other."
"Yeah, this will indubitably take time. But hey, it's their choice, like you said," Alana smiled, comforting her as she tried her very best to reach for the string used to hold the hammock up. It had been difficult to find somewhere where she could tie it without feeling the overwhelming anxiety of it becoming undone on its own. She saw Zoe give a relieved smile, which had made her own body relax.
Meanwhile, Jared had been aggressively rolling his eyes. He had been absolutely exhausted by the constant display of tension between the two.
Evan had been looking at Connor with wonder in his eyes. His whole body had been glowing with the childlike excitement as he held onto the flimsy material of the kite. Even though he had been so elated to listen to Connor explain about how he should fly a kite, his anxiety forced his eyes to twitch and glance away. The longest he could hold eye contact was less than a second, as his heart started to pound ridiculously loud in his chest from the excitement of meeting his eyes.
Connor had been delighted to see that Evan had been listening attentively. Yet, he found himself stuttering. It was as if the mere thought of Evan listening to him with his wide, jovial grin and his constant need to claw at the edges of the kite with anxious and impatient cheer was making him giddy.
He had loved this feeling. Noticing all of Evan's imperfections, Evan noticing his and the both of them simply being there for each other and providing each other warmth. It had been the most beautiful thing, and how he wished it could go back to that. Now it has, even for the brief while he was required to explain the activity. Yet, his mouth felt disconnected from his body, forcing him to trip over his words as he tried to regain control of the simple ability to communicate.
Jared could groan as he was forced to torture himself, the two of them refusing to discuss anything to their relationship with each other and drowning themselves in his awkwardness.
It took them nearly five minutes before they finished communicating, Jared being thankful for the punishment of their exchange. He quickly intervened, before another awkward silence could ensue and brought Evan to the flatter part of the plains.
It had been very beautiful, all three present could agree. The tall grass had spilt onto the land, covering the large area around them with overgrown foliage and different shades of green. The grass pranced in front of the bright blue sky, the wind leading the foliage around in the song of nature. The strong breeze then lead the trees far off in the distance in a dance, creating an entire performance for the world to enjoy.
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Evan loved the wind against his back, clutching the kite in his hands tighter. He then took off, running with the kite in his hand and pure happiness in his steps.
-----
Evan had been panting, his face blooming with a bright red and his heart pounding in his head and chest. He had been exhausted, having ran a long distance just to get his kite to fly up.
The only reason he had decided to stop was because of Zoe; she had called out to the trio to inform them that they had finished setting everything up. Although he was disappointed, Evan acknowledged the beckon and started to pack up. He pulled on the string, slowly allowing the kite to fly closer to him, until it fell down and landed smoothly onto the grass.
Evan ran over and picked it up, returning to Connor and Jared's side to walk over to the picnic laid out for us. Zoe and Alana were able to set everything up as quickly as they could, somehow creating a beautiful art piece. The trio sat down, and all of them began eating the various fruits that they had brought along.
It started off a tad bit awkward ; they did not know what they were meant to do to progress this picnic. For the first five minutes or so, they ate in silence. It was to be expected, what with the situation at hand.
Evan (who had been sitting beside Connor) could not find the courage to talk, since he had a strong inkling that Connor would try not to talk to Evan to make him feel less awkward. That made Evan feel much more tense, knowing that there is a possibility that Connor had been staring at him, deciding if he should start talking. So, Evan decided that he should focus on the apple he had been gripping, taking quick nibbles at the skin of the apple to avoid looking up.
Connor quietly reached for one of the pears, attempting to bite away his own anxiety; it had been clawing at him when he had discovered that Evan was going to be close to him all day. He bit into the pear, focusing on the bite as best as he could.
Jared could literally feel Zoe and Alana's annoyed glare.
—————
They finished a lot of the food that had been prepared, the overwhelming feeling of nauseam and the bulge they felt from their stomachs were proof. They all had a sense of dread; it would be impossible to have the energy to pack everything up when they felt the exhaustion from eating mere fruit.
"I… I'll be walking about," Evan muttered out, struggling to stand up albeit using both his hands. He eventually managed to push himself up, managing to drag himself away from the picnic scene to walk off the lethargy he felt from his 'meal'. Evan made a mental note to stay near the group, but far enough to have the space to himself. He found his way around the start of the forest, quietly admiring the skies dipped in orange and purple.
The evening was soon to befall them, which was quite a calming thought to Evan. He had successfully spent a day with his friends, without any mishaps. Even though he had felt a nagging voice berating him for his lack of conversation with Connor, he still felt a happy with what he had accomplished from the picnic. What a rare moment of Evan giving himself praise!
He found that the slow walking against the cool, quiet breeze had made him quite tired. Not sleepy, but rather calm. He stopped himself in front of the trees and sat down, pressing his back against the wooden bark of the trees while letting out a sigh of relief. Once again, he came face-to-face with the bright orange of the setting sky, the blur of the orange-tinted grass under his feet.
He heard the quiet shuffling of grass getting louder and louder on his left. He could somehow recognise the shuffling.
"C-Connor," Evan called out, his eyes glancing towards the left. He notice the tuft of brown hair as well as the air of the perfect blend of perfume and coffee. The introduction of such a man-made smell that blended with the natural smell was strangely addicting. Connor hummed in agreement, taking a seat next to Evan to enjoy the sunset with him.
"I… uh… wh-what's—what's up?"
"…"
Evan took note of the silence, and continued staring at the sunset. His heart felt conflicted, as if it was deciding the fate of Evan. It beat faster from the moment Connor's presence was known, which made Evan conscious of his own breathing, the way he sat and the way he moved. Connor, on the other hand, had been calm, breathing in and out to regain his confidence for his next words.
"Hey, Evan?"
"Y-yes?"
Evan had been nervous, as if that could not be detailed by his immense stuttering. He pressed his hands into the grass, pulling out and plucking whatever his hands could reach.
"What… are we?"
"…To be-be very honest, I don't know. A-and I have be-been trying to-to guess it my-myself, but… I don't know."
Evan's eyes was fixated at the far tree in the distance. It's leaves danced in the wind, seemingly giving a wave to Evan whilst its bark remained a pillar fixated to the ground. Despite all his efforts to stay fixated to the tree (his eyes were almost burning holes in the tree if he had tried hard enough), he could only worry himself about Connor's response.
"Ah, I see. Well… do you want us to be… you know?"
Evan turned to Connor, curiosity written in his eyes. He could only ponder over this beauty of Connor that allowed him to ask such a mundane question, one that the answer to will always be a solid yes. He needed to face Connor for this important moment, and he did. He could clearly hear the chirping of birds in he background, as he turned towards Connor.
"Connor, why… why would you a-ask that? You know I'll say yes. Maybe, o-okay, h-how about… um… Connor."
Connor gulped.
"What do you w-want, Connor?"
.
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