《Dear Crush! | A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction |》Anger
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Connor solemnly walked into his own house, feeling devastated.
He could not believe that he had spoken about taking a break, just like that. He did not believe that Evan had agreed. In fact, he could not even believe that he was here at his own home, empty handed. He stared at the stone pavement, following it to the wooden porch of the house. He could see the bright lights of the house grow closer and closer as he shuffled his feet towards the house.
Zoe walked behind him, with mixed feelings about the whole situation. She had absolutely no words. No, she did not stay silent because of anger. Far from it. She found it impossible to form any words about this whole situation. It was unexpected, that was a definite. All she could do was stay silent. No words could be put into the mixed feelings she had.
She quietly walked up in front of Connor, digging into her shirt pocket for the house key. She inserted it into the key hole and twisted, pushing open the door to reveal a mess of a scene.
Alana stood in front of the television, looking absolutely distressed. She folded her arms, gazing at Jared. Jared paced left and right, absolutely impatient. He was seemingly deep in thought, unable to calm down. Cynthia sat at the dinner table, nervously gripping at the table cloth as well as the apron of the chair. She seemed absolutely distraught. Larry stood beside Cynthia, looking as impatient as Jared had been.
Zoe walked into the scene, and could feel the unnerve within all of them. She bit her lip, unsure of how to address the situation. However, she had no need to. As soon as the door swung open, all four heads glanced towards the door. She could see Cynthia and Larry's eyes light up, their tense shoulders relaxing as they both moved from the previous spots to pull Zoe and Connor into a hug.
Connor, who was not use to Larry being one to hug him, was absolutely surprised. He could feel a tiny bit of reflexes kicking in, almost causing him to punch Larry. He managed to stop himself, while Larry and Cynthia both continued hugging their children, crying tears of joy.
"Oh my gosh," Cynthia exclaimed, sobbing hysterically, "where have you two been?"
Cynthia released them from her hug, noticing the perspiration drenching them entirely. Both had small tears on their clothes, as well as random arrangements of small brown leaves in their hair. This only made her more worried, as she tried to pick away the leaves in their hair.
Larry wiped away his tears, trying to look like the proper dad that he had been portraying. He gripped Connor's shoulders, attempting to speak eye to eye with Connor. Instead, Connor continued staring at the carpet in their home, blanking out.
"Connor," Larry called out, worried about Connor. He seemed sad, to the point it was heart wrenching to see. Larry could feel his brows furrowing as he attempted to talk to Connor once more. Connor did not respond again.
Zoe noticed Connor's behaviour, and recognised the despair he feels. She gripped onto her dress out of being unsure as to what she should be doing to help. She could only draw a blank, unable to help Connor in any way. That really clawed at her heart. She was about to reach out to Connor, to tear away from her mother's grip on her when Jared marched up to Connor.
Immediately, Jared gripped at Connor's black hoodie. He grabbed the hoodie just in front of Connor's neck with a deathly grip, pulling him upwards. Connor did not resist at all. He let Jared pull on his hoodie, and his eyes were off the carpet, and on Jared's face.
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He was seething with rage. You could see his brows furrowing, as his eyes burned with rage. Connor stared into those anger filled eyes with a sad look. He was too much of an emotional mess to react to Jared. He was too much of an emotional mess to care about anything right now.
"I'm sorry, Mr and Mrs Murphy," he politely apologised, as he continued holding onto Connor's collar. He was absolutely furious, and yet he still managed to keep a polite tone to greet the Murphy's parents.
"I'm going to borrow Connor for a bit, I promise I won't do anything rash."
Cynthia looked skeptical, which was reasonable. Jared was grabbing her son by the collar, almost prepared to punch him right there and then. She felt uncertain, although she knew that Jared was not one to do something like that.
She glanced over to Larry, trying to search for an answer in his expression. He had looked distraught as well, hands to either sides. He thought of something briefly, and then turned to Cynthia, meeting her gaze. He then slowly nodded his head. Cynthia turned back to Jared, an uneasy smile. She then nodded her head slowly, signalling Jared to start dragging Connor upstairs.
Alana noticed the tension between Cynthia and Larry, walking up to them with the most confident smile she could muster in such a situation.
"Do not worry, Mr and Mrs Murphy," she announced. She held Cynthia's hands in her own, gripping them to assure them of her false confidence and providing them with as much comfort as she could.
"I will make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
Cynthia nodded, which prompted Alana to sprint up the staircase to follow Jared. As soon as Alana disappeared from sight, Cynthia let out an irritated sigh, letting go of Zoe for the first time in a long while. She turned to Larry, almost with the strong intent to reprimand.
"What are we going to do, Larry?" Cynthia asked, exasperated. This left Zoe feeling extremely taken aback, to hear her own mother with the sudden rise in tone.
"How am I suppose to know, Cynthia?" Larry shot back, almost threateningly so. This shut both of them up, as they turned away from each other. They both paced about, scratched their heads, desperate to find some idea on how to deal with Connor's sudden emotional mood.
Zoe bit her lip, almost hesitant to speak. She walked over to the staircase, gripping at the handrail. She turned back to her parents, seeing their looks of uncertainty portraying their emotions of uncertainty. Neither of them were aware of what should be done. The house was now shrouded in silence, a thick and heavy miasma of tension. It was difficult to suppress the tense atmosphere, to the point it was almost crushing her lungs.
Zoe frowned, taking the steps up to the second floor of the house, pushing herself onto the wooden floor. Almost immediately, she heard the loud shouting from Jared, muffled by the walls. She already knew what was happening. It was obvious. Jared was trying his very best not to punch Connor in the face, and Alana had been keeping her voice down, attempting to console Jared without vexing him further.
She marched to the door of Connor's room, quietly twisting the doorknob and peeking in. Jared's booming voice rang throughout the room, strong enough to strike fear in her own heart, despite not being the target of his anger. He was facing away from Zoe, his eyes focused on Connor who was slouched over on the bed. Meanwhile, Alana was over by his side, trying to talk some sense.
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"What the fuck did you do, Connor?" He yelled, his voice bellowing. Alana was not impressed. She was absolutely furious over how aggressive he had been towards Connor.
"Jared Kleinman," Alana responded, raising her voice ever so slightly, "can you restrain yourself?"
Jared turned to Alana, already to the point of exploding. He was already furious enough with Connor, apparent by the tone he used against him. To have Alana ttying to defend him only added fuel to the fire. He grit his teeth, balled his fist and turned to Alana with the same livid expression.
"How can I do that, Alana? Do you realise what he has fucking done?" His voice echoed loudly around the room. Zoe quietly entered the room, closing the door as silently as she could. It seemed as if neither of them noticed her presence, continuing their belligerent argument.
"Of course I have, Jared! But you need to understand that he has to explain on his own!"
Jared scoffed at her statement, baffled that she could even take Connor's side in this situation. He gives her a sneer, mocking her with his own disbelief.
"Oh really? In case you didn't see, Miss Know-It-All, this asshole hasn't even spoken since he came back!"
"How-" Alana raises her voice, caught in the excitement of the argument, and lowered her voice to avoid escalating the situation- "do you expect him to explain if all you've been doing is screaming in his face?"
"Oh, that is hilarious," he snorts, unable to understand her level of calm when dealing with Connor's absolutely selfish behaviour, "you think he wants to cooperate? Open your eyes, Al!"
She steps back, frowning. She figures that Jared has to come to his senses sooner or later. All she had to do was continue trying to resolve the situation. She takes a step in front, straightening her back. She gave her best, taking note of how she seemed to Jared. Showing off her faked courage to stand up to him.
"I have, Jared! All I see is that you aren't giving him a chance to speak at all!"
Once again, Jared scoffs. He turns away from Alana, covering his forehead with his palm and sighing. He had no idea on how to get Alana to agree with him, and that only made his anger burn.
Zoe stared at the two bickering, terrified. This was the first time that she has ever seen either of them raise their voice to this extent. It only made her much more nervous, as she glanced down at Connor.
He say quietly, hunched over. He seem to be silently sobbing, although Zoe could not discern that until she stared more intently. He seem to be trying his very best to cope with the situation that occurred, and yet he seems to be failing.
"Alana, you know that Evan has anxiety! You know that any word around him has to be carefully chosen! I'm worried about what he's gonna fucking do! The fact that he came here empty handed is making me worried!"
Alana frowned, absolutely upset to hear that input from him. It was obvious that Alana did not need to be reiterated on Evan's potential plan of actions. She was about to speak up, when Connor interrupted her, irritated.
"Evan is fine," he quietly spoke up, head still staring at the floor of his room, "Zoe and I sent him home."
All of their heads turned towards him, in shock that he had managed to utter out words. Jared seemed even more infuriated, and Alana was absolutely relieved. Zoe remembered the silence in the car, the heaviness of the air as they drove him home.
"Oh, and we're just suppose to believe that he didn't do anything stupid-"
"He didn't…do anything," Zoe interrupted, getting the attention of Jared and Alana, who were appalled by her sudden voice, being completely unaware that she had even entered the room.
"You found him?" Jared questioned, his sense of panic over Evan's safety suddenly arising in him, striking a sudden sense of fear, "How is he?"
"You," Connor shouted, the apparent strength to back up his voice as he bellowed, "are in no position to worry about him, Kleinman."
Jared turned back to Connor with a grim expression, glaring at Connor. He was extremely offended by the statement, in disbelief that the person causing this whole situation dared to utter such audacious words.
"Oh, and you are? For fuck's sake Connor, you caused this whole situation! What if Evan jumped-"
"He did," Connor retorted, staring up at Jared. He gripped his own hands, attempting to suppress his urge to throw a punch at Jared right there and then, "and you laughed at him."
Jared was about to refute him, only to take serious note of the last part of his argument. He gave it a quick thought, and the sudden idea clicked into his head. In fact, this idea morphed his face from anger into fear. His voice distorted into an image of pure horror, unable to process a reaction worthy enough to match his own feelings of horror.
"...Y-You don't mean-"
"What else could I mean, Kleinman?"
Alana analysed what Connor said, digging into the memory in her mind. She searched remembering the cast that she had signed, the one Evan wore for six weeks. Immediately, she realised the context. Out of desperation to prove that he was wrong, she turned to Zoe.
Zoe gripped at her own hand, turning away from both of them. She frowned, shutting her eyes. Alana saw her expression, and immediately felt her desperation melt into a discerning expression. She could not believe that Evan had been lying about every little thing.
"Fuck," Jared muttered, absolutely disappointed in himself for his disgusting behaviour, as he slid down onto the floor, "Evan I'm so fucking sorry."
He buried his face in his hands, unable to comprehend the horrible mistake he made when Evan told him about his arm injury. He could feel his heart aching, just hearing about it. Alana felt horrible, knowing she did not pick up the earlier signs of uneasiness Evan displayed when talking about his cast.
The room submerged in a thick fog of silence. No one dared to say a word, no one dared to move. They were all wallowing in self pity until Zoe spoke up.
"He didn't jump, if that's what you were thinking," her quiet voice sounding loud and clear in the room. She could feel the unnatural tinge in her mouth, making speaking extremely uncomfortable. It was almost as if her mouth forgot how to function.
She noticed the slump in Jared's shoulders, realising how tense he had become ever since the situation arised.
Once again, the room was covered in silence. Uncomfortable, tension-filled silence. They all tried to think of something to say, anything.
Words Fail.
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